A Pretty Damn Good Wednesday; End of training wheels
So this morning I had that meeting with AT&T, an event that has some serious negative reactions with me. How so, it had the double whammy of having a financial connotation, the fact that my company is being billed back charges of almost $148,000! I mean $148,000! If this was something that was happening to me personally, I would have been having real serious anxiety. Oh wait. It did happen to me. Could this simply be a tug from the past when I owed all that money and had to file for bankruptcy? And at the same time this situation is tugging at my insecurities. Insecurities about the job I'm doing as in I'm doing a good job. Insecurities that I'm going to get fired. Insecurities that I've made this huge mistake. As if I'm not allowed to make a mistake. That I cost my company all this money. I write all this stuff down because the more I do it, the more I realize that when I think about it, I see NOTHING ABOUT REALITY. Just thoughts that are creating anxiety. Which means I simply need to change my thoughts around the circumstance. I need to allow myself NOT TO BE PERFECT. I need to allow myself to make mistakes and that I need to let go and let the Universe make it right. I need to deal with it by accepting the situation as simply a learning experience and that something good will happen to me because everything works out in my favor. And I need to take that learning lesson and apply it to other parts of my life... as in, oh, being Johnnie's Dad perhaps? I posted a couple of pictures of him this morning. First as I was watching him while working on the couch. The meeting with AT&T was actually done inside of 30 minutes. I got to meet with a couple of people I feel that were pretty high up on the food chain. And that the person that I was dealing with initially simply had no idea what he was doing. After a quick discussion, the $148,000 past due balance was now reduced to $57,000. I had already gotten a reduction of 68%! And they needed to go back and ask more questions about that damn CTF discount that I had sat on. And maybe I could get it down even further than that. We will revisit after a couple of days but boy even after this meeting I was already so RELIEVED my company doesn't owe $147,000. Which is why I was able to relax on my couch and Johnnie got to do his thing. I had him watching science videos. He wanted to make a catapult he said. Sounded good to me. In the meantime, I kept getting reminded all day that I still needed to work on my patience. I got the monitor I asked Kennedy to order me and wouldn't you know I couldn't get the base together? And got frustrated at myself in the process. DAMN! And then when Johnnie and I headed out to lunch at El Pollo Loco, I saw a line close to the door and damn near turned around to go on home. It was Johnnie that reminded me to be patient. It was Johnnie that told me to wait. And so I did, taking him in to the store with me. And wouldn't you know it didn't take all that long at all to get my food. Less than 10 minutes. Johnnie was totally right all along. At least I got the reminder and heeded it. That's a win right? Thank YOU Johnnie.
Finally in the afternoon, I got another package. A heavier one this time. It was Johnnie's new bike! Yet another lesson in patience. I laughed because I not only got one but TWO packages today. And if I couldn't put a measly monitor together, could I really do so for a bike? Fortunately the thing did come 95% assembled just as they said in the description. And despite not being able to read the install manual because the damn print was so small, I did manage to put it together and assemble it properly. And of course just as soon as I did, Johnnie was so excited to ride it. I was excited too, excited that at the end of the day he would be riding this thing just fine. I knew I could teach him to ride this bike. We went to the garage where I took it to where there was a slight incline and let him get a feel for balance and steering. And it took all of 5 minutes before he didn't even wobble. And so I took him out on the street. The result? I posted the video! He learned to ride the bike without training wheels! This is one of those rites of passage that only a father can feel the pride of when he teaches his son how to ride a bike. And I got him to ride a few blocks too and got my steps all done along the way! What a great way to end the day. I reminded myself that I did imagine that I was going to have a good day today. And I did. I did just that. I felt gratitude going to bed. And I didn't read or do anything else. It had been a long day and I was tired. So much so Johnnie and I didn't take a shower tonight. It can wait until tomorrow morning.
So this morning I had that meeting with AT&T, an event that has some serious negative reactions with me. How so, it had the double whammy of having a financial connotation, the fact that my company is being billed back charges of almost $148,000! I mean $148,000! If this was something that was happening to me personally, I would have been having real serious anxiety. Oh wait. It did happen to me. Could this simply be a tug from the past when I owed all that money and had to file for bankruptcy? And at the same time this situation is tugging at my insecurities. Insecurities about the job I'm doing as in I'm doing a good job. Insecurities that I'm going to get fired. Insecurities that I've made this huge mistake. As if I'm not allowed to make a mistake. That I cost my company all this money. I write all this stuff down because the more I do it, the more I realize that when I think about it, I see NOTHING ABOUT REALITY. Just thoughts that are creating anxiety. Which means I simply need to change my thoughts around the circumstance. I need to allow myself NOT TO BE PERFECT. I need to allow myself to make mistakes and that I need to let go and let the Universe make it right. I need to deal with it by accepting the situation as simply a learning experience and that something good will happen to me because everything works out in my favor. And I need to take that learning lesson and apply it to other parts of my life... as in, oh, being Johnnie's Dad perhaps? I posted a couple of pictures of him this morning. First as I was watching him while working on the couch. The meeting with AT&T was actually done inside of 30 minutes. I got to meet with a couple of people I feel that were pretty high up on the food chain. And that the person that I was dealing with initially simply had no idea what he was doing. After a quick discussion, the $148,000 past due balance was now reduced to $57,000. I had already gotten a reduction of 68%! And they needed to go back and ask more questions about that damn CTF discount that I had sat on. And maybe I could get it down even further than that. We will revisit after a couple of days but boy even after this meeting I was already so RELIEVED my company doesn't owe $147,000. Which is why I was able to relax on my couch and Johnnie got to do his thing. I had him watching science videos. He wanted to make a catapult he said. Sounded good to me. In the meantime, I kept getting reminded all day that I still needed to work on my patience. I got the monitor I asked Kennedy to order me and wouldn't you know I couldn't get the base together? And got frustrated at myself in the process. DAMN! And then when Johnnie and I headed out to lunch at El Pollo Loco, I saw a line close to the door and damn near turned around to go on home. It was Johnnie that reminded me to be patient. It was Johnnie that told me to wait. And so I did, taking him in to the store with me. And wouldn't you know it didn't take all that long at all to get my food. Less than 10 minutes. Johnnie was totally right all along. At least I got the reminder and heeded it. That's a win right? Thank YOU Johnnie.
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