Last Day of September

Let's face it. It's a big sports night. Lakers and Heat Game 1 in the NBA Finals. And of course I'm staying away not watching it. Dodgers and Brewers Game 1 of the MLB playoffs and of course I'm staying away from watching that too though I am not nearly as emotionally vested with the Dodgers as I am with the Lakers. But that's all tonight. Today I still have a typical mid-week starting with Johnnie lessons. I have settled in to focusing on Johnnie and his schoolwork for the mornings when I have him *T,W,TH* and then re-focusing on my own work after lunch. I think I'll have to do that for a while. And even so, I still do my team meetings at 9:30 every Tuesday and Thursday. Today it's breakfast, then, his big class meeting, then Art. He likes that art class and I do too actually. Last week he got introduced to Monet. Yesterday he learned about George Washington. This week he's doing water lilly cut-outs. All good. I have lots to do myself actually, but I am in procrastination mode clearly. Not just for work, but other stuff too. My car's lease is due in a couple of weeks so I still have to decide about what to do. And who knows what's happening with my driver's license that I renewed a couple of months ago. But again, I'm not really focusing on any of that. I'm more into Johnnie paying attention to his Zoom classes, listening in on what they're teaching him, feeling pride when he gets answers right when he gets called on, and even letting him show his personality a little bit when he does his SeeSaw assignments. That's when he describes his work. I think he expresses himself just fine. Oh and he also has to do at least 20 minutes of reading on the EPIC books website. Here is where MY parent competitiveness comes out. He's at Level 19, the 3rd highest level in his class. Someone in on Level 23, and the next highest is Level 20. I'm sure he is past the level expected of him that is considered normal. But who's trying for normal LOL. The second picture I posted is a pic of him outside of Panda Express Westwood, the place we've been going to every Wednesday for more than a year. Of course he's having teriyaki chicken tonight. Again. The Panda Express on Sawtelle already told Lisa that they see Johnnie almost everyday LOL. We don't go there everyday. Do we? But really who am I kidding? By dinner time I'm just trying to keep myself occupied and distracted so I don't have to think about the Laker game. This is big folks. The first time the Lakers have been in the Finals since 2010. That's a decade ago!!! That was the year we went to the Philippines. I took a timetravel look back at my journal entries from that time period. I actually WENT to Game 1 vs Boston at Staples. I went with Karl. Lisa and I played Woodley Lakes a couple of times that month. And she was less than a year into her practice. A few pictures with Dexter and Yadira visiting. Also one of a dinner with Roe. And of course a bunch of pictures of us working out at UCLA track. It seemed like such a simpler time, which it was of course, and one I still do remember fondly. So far removed from tonight, with Johnnie watching another Jurassic Park Lego series that we discovered based on the movie Jurassic World and the Indomitus Rex episode. In the meantime, I kept my mind occupied watching the latest version of Van Helsing on Netflix. It had gotten pretty dumb during the last part of it and so far, it has picked up some likely because it has a bunch of new characters. But I'm in the middle of watching this thing on Netflix, and ESPN reminders came on. First half had just ended. I didn't see the score but I could tell the Lakers were ahead. I even watched some of the Jurassic stuff with Johnnie for a bit. He has regained interest in dinosaurs I think, which has now flip flopped from the Octonauts. Anyway in the middle of watching on my iPad, the final score blipped through. The Lakers win Game 1 by 20 points. And apparently it was not even nearly as close as the score. They were up by almost 30 points in the 3rd quarter. W-h-a-t? This was the vaunted Miami team that had beaten the Bucks and Celtics? I temper my own giddiness at the win, reminding myself of the Memorial Day Massacre with the Lakers and Celtics in the mid-80s. Boy you talk about time traveling. I couldn't watch Game 2 then because I was working. At the Hacienda Golf Club! OF COURSE I was going to spend a lot of time watching post game, not just on Spectrum Lakers Access station, and even when Johnnie had already fallen asleep. I had to watch all the other pundits talk about it.  Only later did I hear the Dodgers won too. But there was no mistaking where my heart was. 1 down.3 more to go.

Getting Hot Again

So it's heating up again, as if summer wanted us all to remember it, even if it has technically come and gone. But at least it didn't start off hot this morning. In fact, it looked overcast which does remind you that we're in the autumn season already. And as the morning zipped by, it turned out to be a pretty redundant kind of Tuesday, the routine kind that I prefer so much. Johnnie's Social Studies class, my IS Team Meeting, Johnnie's homework. I reminded myself when I got up this morning that I needed to find a way to clear my mind and stick to the outcomes that I want to manifest. I reminded myself that if I am feeling some unpleasantness, either physically or mentally, that I need to be still and listen and to allow myself to connect with a higher vibration. <That as I sensed some anxiety that bubbles up to the surface on my end, with no specific reason that is apparent> To that end, I managed to get back to "playing" the manifestation powerpoint I made many months ago. This was early in the year. Here we are September is nearly over, October is in a couple of days already. I have to remind myself that I have the power and ability to get stuff done in a very short period of time and that I should not bind myself to limiting timelines. And yet... at the end of the day it's about enjoying the moment. Just look at Johnnie's face in the picture that I posted of him in the pool this afternoon :) He had a swimming lesson with Stacy of course and yesterday I already felt he was growing more and more confident... which is the actual goal really. When he feels confident just as he did with biking, just as he did with riding a scooter, he will be just fine. Today Stacy just gave him more drills but actually he and I will simply be spending more and more time in the pool to get him more and more confident. Already a huge win to get him where he is today I think.

In the meantime, you can't really beat working poolside if you have to work at all can you?! The view is certainly much better than staring outside my FRB office window, or at the cubicles outside. Even though it was really hot outside, and we had to scramble to get Johnnie dried up and rushed back into the house for his 3 PM computer programming class.  This time we got logged on just fine and Johnnie actually did pretty well working on his project in the hour-long class. Again it's all about making sure he builds confidence in whatever he is doing. He was so proud that he was able to program a race with characters he chose himself. I mean to already have that ability at 5 years old... I am not even sure what the heck I was doing at that age myself. I simply have no memories. As for Johnnie, this week we did a return to Jurassic World. Since Lisa already knew about and in fact, watched Camp Cretaceous with him, I figured I'd let Johnnie watch the real thing, which was the real Jurassic World movie with Chris Pratt (Owen) and Bryce Dallas Howard (Clare) since he already was well acquainted with the characters in the funny Lego version. So that was movie night tonight, and after the usual Panda Express dinner for him. I figured I'd give him a reward since his afternoon was pretty full with lessons. As for me, I had PLENTY of leftover food in the fridge. And so Tuesday night has actually evolved from Italian sausage and pasta and chocolate chip cookies night to simply movie night, if just for tonight. In the meantime, i did manage to get all the way to 13,000 steps tonight and though I got started late because of all of Johnnie's lessons, I still breezed to 11,100 even before 8 PM. In the meantime, I also realize that September 2020 is winding down. And how did it wind down tonight? By the first Trump-Biden debate which from all accounts I am so glad not to have watched. Apparently Trump was his angry grandpa best and of course Biden had to snipe back. You can't stay clean if you're fighting a pig and you're in the mud. Gotta give as much as you get. The loser tonight? America. The world must be watching in horror as the leader and potential leader of the supposed greatest nation on the planet devolved to the shitshow that I am glad I'm only reading about. smh smh. There is hope though. I look at Johnnie sleeping soundly, I think about all the things he will have the capability to accomplish. I say never mind the old folks. There is hope.

Back To Work

So it's supposed to be the Monday after I had a long weekend. Only it didn't feel like I actually had a long weekend. More like more of the same but I thought a little less about work and I guess that's ok since that was the objective anyway. And so I can be forgiven if I was a little slow getting off my dime this morning. I didn't manage to get my start routine until it was already after 8 AM. And it was almost 9 AM before I got out of the shower, gotten shaved, and gotten breakfast. And I didn't even get to make my breakfast this morning because I thought it was simply faster and more convenient to just get a sausage McMuffin from McDonald's next door. After all, they already see me everyday from Tuesday to Thursday. What's one more day LOL. And then it was off to getting caught up on emails, getting timecards approved, blah blah blah and then it was already time for the Monday Morning Business Continuity meeting at 10:30. I got all the way through to 11:30 before there was a knock on my door. To my surprise, it was Johnnie! I mean I knew at some point they would be coming over because Lisa told her furniture maker I'm in the market to get a custom table made for me. I mean I have a table but it is so dinky tiny it's ridiculous. I could continue to work like this, but c'mon this is actually my livelihood. I SHOULD get a decent table. And I had gotten no luck digging up a table on the internet. The measurements I wanted was simply extremely rare. Hence a custom furniture maker is needed here. Lisa brought him to my apartment and here they were. I cut out of my meeting early and then got my measurements done. Lisa was supposed to drop off Johnnie anyway since she had piano lessons in a couple of hours anyway.

And so it was that Johnnie and I had lunch together a full day earlier than usual and then I took him to the pool afterwards. It was supposed to be hot this week again. And actually it was his idea. After all, there was no school today lucky him. Lucky Lisa too, how come she gets all the school off days? And then at the pool, just the two of us, Johnnie actually got really comfortable. So much so he was able to swim from one end of the pool to the other! I posted a video as proof. The short end, but still. He's SWIMMING! This completes the trifecta. The summer of 5 years old Johnnie learned to scooter, learned to bike without training wheels, and learned to swim. I'd say he had a breakthrough summer. I took him home right after even though I was supposed to pick him right back up a couple of hours later. I figured Lisa would want to spend just a couple of more hours with him the last day she has him <not that she would ever think the same for me>. In fact she would once again pull that stunt she does where she goes somewhere with Johnnie and forgets to tell me and here I am at her house and no one is there. Perplexing that she forgets. It's just a text. And when I called her, it turned out they were at her office. She did not once mention that. Sigh. And so I had to drive all the way to her office to get Johnnie. Oh well... at least Panda Express is down the block...

The absolute BEST thing about today was that when I dropped off Johnnie earlier, he started making something in the kitchen. It turned out that it was a salad, almost like Lisa makes actually. So no question where he picked it up from. The big surprise was that I thought he was making it for his mom. It turned out that he was making it... for ME. He brought it with him when I picked him up and proudly gave it to me and told me I didn't have to cook anything for my dinner tonight. I LOVE love l-o-v-e this kid. Hard feelings forgotten. We went to get dinner at Panda Express a day early and then we went home and at his request, we watched Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous. Again. I even had some extra steak to eat for dinner. And I ate it with Johnnie's salad. And then we enjoyed some caramel corn while dad and son watched dinosaurs. Hey, no sports tonight. And it did actually turn into a pretty good day today even though it felt like just an extension of the weekend, at least with Lisa. At least now it's back to the norm which works out just fine with me. And although I didn't really get a whole lot of stuff done work-wise, I didn't really need to. It was all good. And we went to bed a little later than usual, at least for Johnnie. I still got to go to sleep earlier than usual. No 4 hour sleep tonight. I need the rest. After all, I looked at my Fitbit and I managed to get 13,000+ steps tonight. Now how did i do that with everything going on? One thing was for sure THIS WAS NOT AN ORDINARY MONDAY. And it was pretty good anyway.

Another shot at a Decent Golf Game.

I laced my first shot dead straight down the fairway and it was a fantastic shot. A laser, Greg would remark. We were at Roosevelt and that was probably the farthest, most accurate shot I had ever hit at this first hole. I was less than 100 yards away from the pin. It was simply too bad that I wasted such a great shot with 3 straight week ass whiffs. And a pitiful putt. Wow. I imploded. Already a learning lesson. I went through my keys: don't get sped up. Slow down. Focus on the ball strike. Relax your arms. Breathe. I did exactly none of those things after that first shot. On the 2nd hole, I whiffed on the first 2 holes, continuing a bad pattern. But finally I relaxed by going to my irons. At least those I could hit straight this morning. The pic of the ball on the green was at THAT 2nd hole. And at least I did better on that hole than the first, though it was still a 7. Finally on Hole 3 I got untracked. I hit my shot off the tee right on the green. No small feat considering I usually had been hitting it way left with a wood or hybrid. This time I hit a 6-iron. I still managed to 3-putt but I did tie for the hole. OK then, I won't be shut out today. It didn't stop there. Improbably, I tied for the hole win on the next 4 holes! Hole 4 produced a nice tee shot. And even though I got to the fringe on the next 2 chips, I did manage to close out with a 5. Hole 6 had an ok tee shot and a much better 2nd shot with a blast that got me almost 200 yards. I got a bogey on that hole too. The funnel Hole 6 got me a nice iron off the tee straight and 150 yards down the fairway. And although my 2nd shot hit the hill instead of the green, I still managed a bogey 5 yet again. And on Hole 7, even though I my first 3 shots were not so good, I did sink a long putt to tie for the hole again. At this point I had already tied for the win on 5 holes! I hit a crap tee shot on Hole 8, but blasted the 2nd shot again almost 200 yards and in perfect position to get to the green. But I reverted back to that sequence on Hole 1. How do I keep from doing that is the big question? All I needed to do was a decent shot with an iron I already had confidence in. I simply needed to focus on hitting the ball is all, not to just swing away and let my rhythm control the shot. And to do that without overthinking it. Let the swing come to me. I certainly didn't do those on Hole 1 and 8. I had one more hole to practice the focus. And true enough, when I did I laced the tee shot with an iron straight down to the green with a birdie shot from 25 feet away. I didn't get that birdie. But a par and an outright win of that hole was just fine. As was winning 6 holes today. What do you know... I DID have a decent golf game today after all :) I went home and rewarded myself with an IN-N-Out double double. And then proceeded to let myself drift to sleep on the couch. It already was a pretty good day.

Lisa had mentioned that she may be wanting to practice again for a third consecutive day. But she never called which allowed me to chill the rest of the day as well. I may have had a decent golf game this morning, but I know I was creaking all through the game  and somehow I had it in my mind that it was age. I was stiff in my neck and back and it never occurred to me that maybe I was still just in "rest" mode. Maybe it was the way I saw myself in a pic I took yesterday. I looked older. Like Karl did a couple of years ago. And so these age thoughts that has seemingly made it to the surface I need to squelch somehow as if it will affect me physically. I'm supposed to be working on my energy body aren't I? And so that is what I did for the rest of the afternoon. Looked at YouTube videos on energy healing, manifestation and for lack of a better word, manipulation. That and I watched the Celtics vs Heat Eastern Finals. Waiting on the winner for the nba Finals you know. Turned out the Heat won. So it will be Lakers and Heat. Weird that I'm tuned in to the NBA here in the end of September. Usually NBA teams are doing their media days for the NEXT season right about now. After all, a year ago they were unveiling Anthony Davis almost to the day. And on the same day the Dodgers finished the regular season. Playoffs coming up for them as well. Wouldn't it be a hoot if the Dodgers and Lakers win titles weeks after each other. I grilled some tri-tip steaks tonight too. 2 pounds worth. Enough for dinner and 2 more dinners during the week LOL.  Hey they were on sale! I got them for less than $10. And so it was that it was a quiet 4-day weekend for me. Hey as long as I didn't think about work, it was worth it. 

What Happens When You Have No Plans

So usually, Lisa has piano lessons on a Saturday like today and I get to whisk Johnnie away and hang out with him until she's ready to be mom again right around mid-afternoon-ish. But today her piano lessons actually got moved to Monday. But she still wanted to practice but not until way later. Still she mentioned me joining them for breakfast even though I was just with them until bedtime last night. It's almost like I'm still there at Maplewood but I don't actually live there. It didn't really occur to me that perhaps Lisa actually wanted me to hang out with them, them being she and Johnnie and not just Johnnie. I didn't think about it because I have now hard-programmed in my consciousness that there really isn't a point to hanging out with Lisa, unless Johnnie is involved, and the first option there is ALWAYS for he and I to hang out without her. Still I was ok with going there for breakfast and this morning I actually took my time, took a shower and cleaned up and then the call from Johnnie coincided with me being already 2 blocks away. This was at 8:30. But when I got there, Johnnie wasn't there, he was actually at next door neighbor Pablo and Allie's house hanging out with their kids Lulu and Roman. And that's when I realized I had just allowed myself to be sucked into Lisa's morning of play-it-by-ear organized chaos. She always has things lined up. She has to go to the office to do some more office infrastructure projects. I didn't really bother to ask what. All I knew was that Johnnie had it in his mind too that he was going to go visit his mom's office today. And so really I was just there to participate in the evolution of Lisa's plans. I guess that's what I get for having nothing better to do. I at least am polite enough not to actually tell Lisa this is not my thing anymore, to watch her act and think things out as they happen. And that I could be doing other things. Or that I'd RATHER be doing other things. As it was, the kids next door kind of ran in and out of the house, Lisa did make us breakfast and I washed the dishes, and even watered her vegetable garden. By the time Lisa settled on a plan of action, it was well past 10 AM. I actually got Johnnie ready and even made him nudge his mom to get going. By the time she actually got dressed and got ready to go to her office it was almost 11. And it was 11:30 by the time I got back home and it was already time to think about lunch. I tried to frame to myself that I still need to work on my patience and who better to test that than Lisa right? To be fair, she didn't really test it so much this morning as it was me that chose to be there and therefore I had to accept what happened. Because none of it was even a surprise. I did know she was going to call me again later on in the day because what didn't happen was that she didn't get to practice piano. And that was sort of the one mandatory thing she needed to get done at all today. And so I spent my afternoon just doing some more internal work. That exercise yesterday about finding Purpose was very insightful, but now I have to tie it in to my goals, including the financial outcomes that I want. By the time Lisa called back it was already almost 4 PM. This time she asked for a couple of items from Trader Joe's if I were going there anyway. She already had salmon she could cook. I decided that I would nudge her into making the cucumber tomato and onion "salad" as a side dish. I didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't feel like eating the green beans she made last night because she burned the onions. Sometimes she hits it out of the park cooking but more often than not, she is not instinctive and she makes lots of mistakes. I am by far the better cook, but I would never tell her that. And she would never agree anyway.

And so this Saturday night I once again spent at Lisa's house. Mommy and Johnnie were actually sleeping at first and then Lisa wised up and decided to practice piano while Johnnie was still asleep. And in the meantime, I knew she would take her time making dinner so I decided to nudge that along too. I made the Armenian rice for her and mine actually turned out better than hers a couple of weeks ago.  And I cut up the vegetables. All she would have to do was pan fry the salmon. I even opened a can of soup for Johnnie's dinner to heat up too, which would get me in "trouble" later because she had broth in the fridge. When she got done I had to bug out of the kitchen because of course I would be stepping on her toes and invading her domain LOL. If I didn't get tested this morning, I got tested now. Still we ended up having a pretty good dinner, might I add because the rice and veggies turned out very nicely thank you very much. And then she went on to practice for another hour while I kept Johnnie occupied. 

For me, that time also served as the distraction I needed because my thoughts really was at the Lakers game for Game 5 of the Western Division Finals. It was a closeout game and last I checked the Lakers were up by 9 in the 3rd quarter. But the Nuggets have come back before. Many times in fact. I even remembered being right here at Lisa's house watching Johnnie when they came back from a double digit deficit against the Clippers and won to my HUGE surprise. That was just 2 weeks ago. And so I didn't take anything for granted. By the time I left Lisa's house it was almost 8:30. Is the game over? Is it safe to check the score? Funny me. I did check. It wasn't over. Lakers up 7 with 3 minutes to go. Should be a win right? Except by the time I got home 5 minutes later, there was no post game going on just yet. It wasn't over. Sigh. Did the Nuggets come back?  I finally settled on the couch, turned on ESPN. It WAS over. Lakers won. They are back to the NBA Finals. HUGE Sigh.  4 wins away.

Staying Home

With the day off today and no Johnnie, I always get confused as to what to do. After all, you can't really go anywhere can you? I was almost going to spend my morning staying in line at the DMV to try to get a copy of my renewed driver's license which they never mailed out. Or I was racking my brain thinking of other errands I should be running. That's how I want to spend my day off? Running errands? I was almost out the door to grab a Starbucks breakfast before heading out to the DMV. But for some reason I had a different stirring. I figured that since it was already almost 9 AM, I thought I'd just make my own breakfast. Better to do that than to spend $8 at Starbucks right? And just to show you how THAT one decision changed my entire morning, what happened next was that I put some water on to boil for my tea and started to make myself an omelette. Spinach, onion and cheese was what I had in mind. Except that i saw the container of meatballs. OK, maybe I'll add one of those. Somehow or other I was heating something in the microwave and then it went bonkers. It wouldn't turn off. And so I tried to unplug it from its power source in the cupboard right over it. And in doing so, I knocked over a full jar of Prego spaghetti sauce. And the thing broke on the floor right at my feet, spaghetti sauce EVERYWHERE. There was such a huge mess I decided I'd eat my breakfast before I cleaned it up. So I made my omelette, made my tea and decided to find some peace while eating. After all, some degree of chaos must have been in my energy in order to affect this turn of events. Only when I finished eating did I start to clean up the Prego mess. And after I picked up every last piece of broken glass and mopped up every drop of pasta sauce I decided I wasn't going to line up at the DMV after all.  I decided it would be more beneficial to make sure whatever chaos and negative energy was on the surface of my attention was what I needed to clear. And that's what I needed to do with my day. And so I did.

The video I posted above was about finding your purpose in just a few minutes. And it entailed asking 5 questions: Who am I? What do I do? Who do I do it for? What do they want or need? How do they change as a result?. It sounds simple just to answer the questions. And when I answered them, here's what I get: I am Arnel. I solve problems with technology. I do it for the people who work in my company. They need help. I help them do their jobs. Sounds simple... until I realized it could be applied to much more than just my company. And I think there is where the problem is with me... In reflection, all those answers have a limited scope. My company, the work universe. How do I expect to help as many people as I can if I'm only thinking about my work life? And so I am going to make one adjustment. And that is to expand my audience. What if I tried to help everyone who needs help? And what if it was not just technology? I mean look at what Vishen Lakshani did with MindValley? So NOW how would my purpose statement sound like? I am Arnel. I help people by solving problems with technology and information. I do it for those that need information. With this information, people can be the best version of themselves. And so I help people be the best version of themselves. Now THAT's PURPOSE.

Lisa called in the afternoon asking for help watching Johnnie while she practiced piano since she now has a class on Monday. And pitched dinner. Of course I'm the one bringing the roasted chicken courtesy of Ralphs. She's making green beans.  Hey all I wanted to do was spend time with my Little Bug. And so I did. We all had dinner in the patio, which was nice for a late summer evening *or is it early fall?* Of course I had to wash dishes, just so Lisa could spend as much time as possible practicing.  She played the piano while Johnnie and I... well we watched more Jurassic Park Camp Cretacious. So simple with that kid. I figured Lisa would go more than an hour so I took it upon myself to do Johnnie's bedtime routine. Made him some hot chocolate and then gave him a bath. And so when Lisa finally got out of her room, more than 2 hours later, Johnnie was already bed ready.  And for a Friday night I was still able to go home, grab a couple of tacos from Taco Bell. Yep, I was still hungry after that dinner. And so I went home put my feet up and watched me some Netflix. Now I can have my typical Friday night. I didn't have an extraordinary vacation day off today. Pretty boring and I really didn't do anything different. But I didn't think about work. After all, I did discover that I need to expand my focus about that don't I. Now to work on the how...

Falling Off the Wagon, For A Bit

As I mentioned yesterday I had the day off today. But I still wanted to do a Team Meeting with my guys for the week. Dad still has to check on his kids after all. And so Johnnie and I are both on Zoom right from the get-go. Me with my team, Johnnie with his computer class. He had been practicing on those games and I was fully aware he needs to develop a comfort level and dexterity with the mouse. But just because I'm aware doesn't mean I didn't lose my patience either. THAT would be a FAIL on my part. And this morning let me tell you, it was a MAJOR FAIL on my part. I know this because in the middle of his See-Saw homework where Johnnie was required to do sort of a crossword puzzle and was instructed to circle the word he had to find, he had problems making the circle with his mouse. He had no problem finding the word mind you. He had problems making the circle. So much so he got frustrated, wanted to give up and I was NOT the gentle dad that I was yesterday. Quite the opposite in fact. And he cried. And worse, I doubled down and wouldn't let him cry. In retrospect I'm embarrassed to be writing that. I bullied him that's what I did. Why did I do that? Just the controlling ME back in the driver's seat. Sigh. Fortunately, his tears did jolt me back to a different reality. It did make me realize this is NOT the best version of me. This version of me lost patience easily and took it out on Johnnie. I mean he's a child for crying out loud. He is still learning to develop fine muscle movement in his hands. How do I not see that?? I could have tried to make it easier. But I didn't. We stayed there until he got done with it. With a little help from me. But he did get done. He would tell me later on that I hurt his feelings which I'm sure I did by the way I yelled. All I could do was to tell him I was sorry and give him a hug. That's all he ever wants. I got him back to his usual self with ONE joke. Finding a weird word FEU pheww in the puzzle. And then we were friends again. I not only changed his state. I changed mine.

So although this was my day off, it sure didn't feel like it considering Johnnie still had a full slate this afternoon. AND I wanted to get some swim practice in. Too bad my FOB key didn't work and so I had to drop THAT off to the management office to get reprogrammed. So much for swimming. But there was still Johnnie's computer programming class at 3. We missed last Tuesday's class because I couldn't get on. But today we did and so Johnnie learned how to program 3 objects having a race. Sound simple? Not in the least. It does take some sort of familiarity with websites and web-like tools that Johnnie had never seen before. But he sure did pick it up in a hurry. And at the end of the hour, he programmed his race just fine. And then after that he still had one more class thing to do. He had his class birthday celebration for the month of September. Western theme you know... which accounts for the cowboy hat and scarf I bought for him last week that now he could wear. I was thinking this was going to be his Halloween costume too... before Trick-or-Treating got cancelled of course. Still doesn't my little boy look cute? We had dinner, he did his class Zoom at 6:30. THEN and ONLY THEN was his day over. By this time it was 7 PM and I started to prep Johnnie for Lisa to pick him up. Fat chance she'd come on time today would she. You never know. I was vested in her coming early only because Lakers - Nuggets Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals was on. Not that I was going to watch it of course. But I could stress about it as IF I was watching LOL. After the long day I could allow myself this distraction. And after Lisa picked Johnnie up, I took a peek. Lakers up by 5 with 5 minutes to go. They aren't going to fold like the Clippers are they? Answer? NO> Lakers win. Now I could spend the next couple of hours on the post game. Whew. What.a.day.

Last Work Day of the Week

Ahh it's Wednesday and for most people, it's Hump Day. But for me, it IS the last day of the work week. The FINISH LINE since I get the next couple of days off. But I'm not off yet and this morning, I woke up DETERMINED not to let negative energies undermine how I deal with Johnnie today. And so we started the day with the usual breakfast and then both Dad and Johnnie hunkered down in front of Zoom. Kind of the new normal such as it were isn't it? Johnnie doing his Kindergarten class meeting and then Art class after that, me doing a webinar on Office 365 security. Just another work day for dad and son :) His session was far more interesting, mainly because he got to work with watercolors for the first time. And he got REALLY into it. Always a good thing when you see your child learning and creating something, even his interpretation of water lillies. His painting may not be like Monet, but who's to say really? LOL. My favorite thing about today really was that I held on to my energy keys. What does that mean? That meant being aware when I let negative energy sneak in, to be aware of where does energies were coming from, and to remind myself that it has nothing to do with what is really happening in the moment. In other words, nothing bad is really happening, but it is my ego mind that is creating something based on the feelings I allow. Yesterday I really did a poor job of managing my emotions, particularly with regards to dealing with Johnnie. My CONTROL FREAK self took over, and somehow the caring dad wasn't so caring for pretty much the majority of the day. Which is what was disappointing to me. I was disappointed in myself and I wanted to make sure that control freak wasn't the dominant dog today. I fed that dog I know that now and so today I made sure to feed the other one instead. The CARING DAD one. And for at least through the morning, that guy was present. And it felt good. It felt good helping Johnnie with his art work and making sure he knew he did a good job. It felt good going to the store to pick up chicken noodle soup for his lunch and then eating the chicken so he would have nothing but noodles left LOL. And he lapped it up too. And then it felt good making myself my turkey wrap for MY lunch.

All that "feel-good" lingered through most of the day actually. And maybe a lot of it was what I wasn't looking at and focusing on. I didn't focus on the Lakers loss to the Nuggets last night even though I acknowledge I am still emotionally invested in the outcome. I didn't focus on what was going on with Covid 19 and staying at home. How can I when I have to get Johnnie through his learning regimen and didn't actually finish that until it was already almost 2 PM?! I didn't focus on anything going on politically. I focused on finding M&Ms with Johnnie... Magic Moments. He wanted to go biking in the afternoon, but because I had to do my 3 PM Weekly Huddle with my team, settled on watching Jurassic World, Camp Cretaceous. He had already watched it once of course and I thought it scared him pretty good. I mean those dinosaurs were scary for sure. But I guess he got over it and now he wanted to watch it again. I was only all too happy to give him something to occupy him until I got done with my meeting. And that meeting went by fast actually, and concluded with everyone wishing me a good vacation for the next couple of days. I thought about this time of year in years past. 2014... DDStrykers had just won it's first ever Sunday League championship. Seems so long ago. And a great example of how I throw myself in into projects other than my own. 2016... the Sylvia and Konan visit the very first month we moved into Maplewood. These days seem very VERY quiet compared to those. One can say even boring. Heck we even spent some time catching up on that LAUSD computer class we missed yesterday. He caught on pretty quickly though in terms of using the tool to create characters and motions, sort of like programming a video game. My son the programmer. I like the sound of that.  And I wouldn't trade that picture of me and Johnnie just hanging out watching Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous together for anything. Because maybe, just maybe, that had been the key to sustaining positive energy all along. No distractions, just gratitude. Hard to sustain when I had Lisa who was a walking distraction magnet in my life every day. These days is a much different time. And one that has me more rooted in my own inner peace. I still have a lot to learn and clear, yesterday has shown me that.  It wasn't just Lisa. It was also ME for sure. But at least I know what to do. And it is ALL on me.

First Day of Fall

 Ahh Fall. We think of autumn leaves, starting to get a touch colder, Johnnie's birthday, pumpkin carvings and his favorite season Halloween! Alas no-go on that last part since LA County has basically outlawed Halloween. sigh. No trick or treating for Johnnie this year I guess. But at least we can probably still carve out a pumpkin, just like we did last year. This morning I was feeling a wave of anxiety actually and I wasn't really sure where it was coming from. I'm hoping it's simply because it's back to home-schooling-Johnnie mode for me, and he has a FULL day today too, even after his last class. He's got swimming class and then that computer class from LAUSD at 3 PM. It's such a full day that I'm just going to put up pictures from the day. 

Here is Johnnie starting his schedule of classes at 9 AM. The thing about the classes this morning is that I had a real problem with it. I had a real problem... with ME. Maybe it was that bout of anxiety first thing but I sure didn't seem like I had a lot of patience all day today and especially this morning. And I was losing it just watching Johnnie. Every time he got distracted and either fell off his seat or dropped his markers or did anything other than simply staring at the screen I felt myself get tense. Imagine that. I GOT TENSE! Man, am I anxious or what?! Worse was that I took it out on Johnnie. I gave him angry looks every single time he did something and now that I think about it, nothing he did was really out of the ordinary. At least nothing he wouldn't do if he were already in class in person. What the heck crawled up MY ASS?! And why did I take it out on Johnnie? I lost my patience so bad that even when we were doing his homework just the 2 of us, I yelled at him for playing too much. Of COURSE he ended up crying.  Because I bullied him that's why. I am so ashamed for me. Fortunately for me, the sight of Johnnie crying just snaps me out of that asshole funk I was in and I became his comforting dad again. I didn't recover fully either. I know this because during his last class I was still annoyed when I saw him get distracted. And it was all about him not listening well. And I got on him for that. Perhaps a little too much. So this time, the lessons were for me.

Next up in the afternoon was swimming class. and there he did well I thought.

In the meantime I was "working from home" in the pool :)

The good thing was that despite my control issues today, Johnnie still simply wanted to hang out with me and told me so. He just felt sad when I was mad at him.  I did ask him to forgive me at the end of the day and he and i were back to our goofy selves. I NEVER want to take that away from him. And it is ME that I still need to work on MY patience. 

At Least It's A Short Week

The good thing about this week is that I have Thursday and Friday off and so I get myself mentally ready for work this morning thinking I only have 3 days to push this week. And how does mentally ready look like? Me trying to figure out when and how to get to the Honda dealer so I can bring in my car for maintenance. I had put off the 20K maintenance for a good 3 weeks now and now I've let the mileage get to almost 22000. That's ok. I'm handing the car back to the dealer in a few weeks. You see the trick was that Business Continuity Meeting at 10:30. Do I drop off the car before then and scooter back home in time for the meeting? Or wait until the meeting is done and then head over for my 11:30 appointment? I knew I'd be late but do they really care? Are they that busy these days in the time of covid? I elected to do my meeting and then head on over there. It will be done in 2 hours the guy says. Here I am in the middle of Culver City's Business and restaurant district so I didn't mind hanging out... even though most of the restaurants did not allow dine-in. No matter. I scootered over to IN-N-Out a half mile away. And got myself a nice double double for my Monday morning lunch. There was exactly one seat left on the outdoor seating area so I could still eat there. And then when I got done, right across the street was a park and then Trader Joe's across from that. Not to mention I passed a Starbucks that was probably the only one I had encountered of late that still had outdoor seating and therefore outdoor eating. And so it was that after I had my lunch, I scootered across the street to the park, hung out there for a bit. And then got the idea that I should do my steps right then and there. Which is exactly what I did. Never mind that there were a few people that seemed like they were homeless hanging around. And a couple that was clearly trying to be alone but in public if that makes sense at all... I still did my steps, oblivious to them and them oblivious to me. And I got to about 5000 before I decided to pull up stakes and go elsewhere. It was clear my wait was going to go more than a couple of hours so I went to that Starbucks. Got myself an iced tea drink and just chilled in the outdoor eating area. Yep, this was sure different for a Monday, at least for me. Finally around 2:45 I got the text that my car was ready to get picked up and so I hopped on the scooter, went back to the dealer and picked up my car. Ok so maybe if i were in the office I couldn't have hung out here in Culver City the way I just did. But maybe that wasn't so bad considering it was something different. And I didn't have to be cooped up in the house again today. By the time I went home I did some work. Returned emails, made a couple of calls. But let's face it, really I was just killing time until i had to pick up Johnnie around 5:30 PM today. I even started my aerobics at 3 PM, and got to 9000 before it was even 4 PM. I had been doing 12000+ steps for the last few Mondays. And it looks like I'm getting there today again too. 

When I picked up Johnnie, I found mom and son futzing around in the front yard. It appeared as if Lisa was in the middle of one of her "fix stuff around the house" or "clean up something" modes. When I lived here that meant to stay away LOL. Today, I'm just picking up Johnnie so I didn't care one bit. Today Johnnie had his usual present for me. A collection of milkweed bugs that I'm sure he collected while he was in Santa Clarita the other day. Why Lisa insists that I take these things home... TO MY ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT ... is beyond me. But I push off the perplexed feelings and just go with it. If my son wants to take it with him then so be it. For now. We went off and shifted to ... Now that you're with dad mode.  That means chicken mcnuggets tonight for him, and leftover ground beef and lamb from last night for me. And I had already prepped some fettuccini in chicken broth for him as well. He had a fine meal and he wolfed all of it down. I mean all of it. Wow. He must not have had a lunch. No comments there. after all, he gets iffy with lunch with me too. He did do all of his homework which was really great and was even ahead with his decodables. Good job mom! And he was even ahead with his EPIC book reading. REally way to go MOM! And so it was that we had a pretty quiet cruise through Monday evening. And I even got to sleep early. That's before 10 PM! I am FINALLY FINALLY catching up on sleep. And I realized something too, it's the official last day of summer. BYE SUMMER 2020. BYE SUMMER OF COVID...

Early Golf

I woke up before 7 AM for the second day in a row. This has got to stop on weekends. But today is golf Sunday and I got us a tee time at 8 AM at Woodley Lakes in Van Nuys. I had not played that course in many many years. The last time Lisa and I played there was before Johnnie was born so that would be 6 years at least. I do remember the course being flat and long and I was simply glad we were playing on another new course this morning. I was also glad that Scott signed up to play. If he's well enough to play golf, then the stroke he suffered a couple of weeks again didn't truly sideline him and I'm so very glad that he's fine. Of course that was before I got there and heard my name being called by the starter. And when I walked up it turned out that the tee time I signed up for was for 7:30 AM not 8! W-h-a-t? The starter had already sent Greg out since he got there first. And then proceeds to give me a hard time about being late and not being able to let me go out since other golfers were already at the 10th tee. I asked him to please wait and then rushed out to find Scott driving in. I told him about our situation and then made him run to the starter. Yes, I made Scott - not 10 days removed from being in the hospital because of a stroke - exert himself. The bottom line though was that the starter signed us up and let us go and we found Greg waiting on the 10th. That fucking starter!! There was no one near the 10th. I blasted my first shot in a rush just so we could say we got started, and so did Greg and off we went. As far as the golf, Chris plays here all the time and always talks about how wide and flat the fairways are. Boy he wasn't kidding. These fairways are as forgiving as any I've ever played at. Not that it prevented me from hitting some shots out of bounds mind you. I won the first hole with a bogey, and that should have told me that when I'm not thinking so much, I actually play pretty well. When I start thinking so much is when I rush myself and that's when I play poorly. Seems simple right? After that first hole, I thought I never got myself back in rhythm... until the last few holes. On a 175 yard hole, I blasted a 5 iron straight that went 150 yards, and just short of the green. I made a 4 on that one. We never really kept score. All I know is that I won maybe 3 holes. And I remember my first 2 shots on the last hole, which was 500 yards long! I hit a nice tee shot, and then blasted a fairway wood leaving me 190 yards from the hole. Too bad I flubbed the next 2. But I'll remember the fairway shot. Needless to say this morning's golf game was far more enjoyable than the heatstroke game at Hansen Dam. And I even managed to stop at Ralphs for groceries and some juice and got home by 11 AM. It was already a pretty good day.

I was ok doing nothing the rest of the day. I had a good night's sleep, at least compared to the 4 hours I averaged the last few days. I chilled on the couch, watched Sunday football. Nice game the Rams played beating the Eagles and it was the early game too. And then the Dodgers came on. But honestly, neither game carried my emotional investment. That one I saved for the Western Conference Finals game tonight: Lakers vs Nuggets Game 2. Not that I watched it obviously. I still get way too nervous. Too emotionally invested. The game started at 5 but I couldn't find anything to distract me. So I made dinner. I made that sort-of Moroccan tajine with ground beaf and ground lamb, and that turned out pretty good.  By 8 PM I decided to check in on Spectrum Sports Net. Yep, the post game had just started. And what I missed was apparently Anthony Davis' coming out party. He hit a buzzer beating Mamba shot from the 3 pt line,  the kind we were used to seeing Kobe make over and over like the cold killer that he was in the playoffs. I have a memory of his shot in Phoenix and I distracted myself back then too, by going to the Third Street Promenade. And let's not forget Big Shot Rob vs Sacramento. This was at that level. Laker legend making. And I soaked all of it in watching the postgame. LOL. No need to get nervous then HA HA. And that was how I ended my Sunday, and my weekend. All in all, a pretty satisfying day :)

Out of Gas

I'd like to be able to say that this was one of those usual Lisa workday Saturdays, which for the last couple of years since we got separated and divorced meant I got to watch Johnnie for the day. Except that I was up early to be at Lisa's house by 6:15 AM. Heck it was still dark outside for crying out loud.  That's because she let me know last night that she had to be at work by 6:30 AM. So I'm at her front door still yawning, but on time. And that's when she told me she didn't need to be there at 6:30 after all, but at 7 AM. It didn't matter to me. I just made a beeline for the couch and laid back down. I'll sleep until Johnnie wakes up I told myself. Only I could hear him upstairs. He was already up. He was watching his pet gecko. Great. So much for getting more sleep. And he bounded down, told me about he and his mom's plans for vacation night tonight (which was a trip to Santa Clarita with Lisa's friend also named Lisa that they had gone to once before) and wanted to read with me. I guess that's the same in this house as him watching Blippi at mine LOL. We all left before 7 AM and I went right back to my apartment. I needed to clean up. I was feeling sticky. And so I DID put Johnnie in front of Blippi while I took a shower and shaved and brushed my teeth. THEN we went to Elysee for our usual breakfast... Look at the picture of dad and son. No stops at any other grocery stores this morning. Ok, maybe Whole Foods but we went back home at 10 AM. And I was already feeling it. I didn't have much more than 4 hours of sleep last night either. Which capped an entire week of pretty terrible sleep, save for one day. I so wanted to sleep some more. And to keep his attention, I found a dinosaur series for him to watch on Netflix. It was Jurassic world - Camp Cretacious and it was animated. And it was pretty realistic enough to scare him sometimes. And so it was that I got 2 hours of video time with Johnnie while I nodded in and out of sleep. And when I looked up, it was already close to noon and lunchtime. I could have felt a little guilty that I am relinquishing parenting with Johnnie to Netflix videos when I said I wouldn't do that. But I was so-o-o tired today. And honestly, I am simply out of gas. Besides, we did so good with his classes all week that he deserved his vacation Saturday, which is what he called today already.

I still had the afternoon with Johnnie to go. Lisa got done early but since they were headed out for a sleepover tonight and tomorrow, she already told me she wouldn't be picking him up until 4:30. We did get the usual Panda Express lunch but I had no energy to think about stuff to do for the rest of the afternoon. And I went to Johnnie's default Octonauts. Nor did I have much left to do anyting else but to sit right there on the couch and watch TV with him. And catch up on this journal. Man am I so glad I have a couple of days off next week. By the time Lisa came by to collect Johnnie it was already 5 PM. We had already gone to McDonalds to get some chicken nuggets for him to eat. Johnnie explained that he didn't want to eat because he was saving himself for pizza tonight at their friends' house, cooked in their own stone fire oven.  You know if you tell Johnnie you're doing something and its something he's into, he goes all out. Of course that also means he's prone to dramatics like his mom. "It's a disaster", I would always here him lament when he's not quite so perfect with a homework assignment. Anyway, Lisa came by and off they went and she even gave me a chicken burrito from California Chicken Cafe. That worked out great because I did NOT feel like cooking anything tonight. All I wanted to do was watch some more TV although tonight I was NOT going to be watching until the wee hours of the morning. We have an early tee time tomorrow, as I locked in 8 AM at Woodley Lakes in the valley. Hopefully it won't be as stinking hot like it was at Hansen Dam. I did watch a few episodes of Cobra Kai... kind of picking up where things left off with Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence from the original Karate Kid movie in the 80s. Anyway I liked the storyline. But I went to bed before 11 PM tonight regardless. I'm tired...

Can't Tank Today Either

So I couldn't tank yesterday because I had work to do and because you really can't in the morning when Johnnie is basically homeschooling and you're actually the teacher too. This morning I actually hoped to drop my car off at the Honda Dealer to  get maintenance done... my last one on this car before I have to turn it in next month. This car has served me well. I'll never forget that July day 2 years ago when I took the train and walked a mile to the dealer that Monday of the week I moved out, just to pick it up. But alas the best I could do was get an appointment for Monday morning. Ok then. Hey it's Friday and I actually wanted to do those little errands and things I've been taking for granted. I also made an appointment to get my flu shot at our Echo Park location later on today. Gets me out of the house that way. But maybe not really that good of an idea, considering I woke up a little later than usual and as it turned out, I never did take a shower this morning because I get a text from Chad that I'm supposed to be in a meeting with his team and I2I. I thought we nixed that tool?! Why do I have to be present? I tried to make an excuse that I had another meeting and really I would have been fine to say I was too busy. After all, Emma had reviewed my submission and said she needed the Word docs with tracked changes. I had uploaded just the pdf files because I thought it was faster to do that. Sigh. You mean I'm not done with those damn policies? And it's still due today? Shit. So much for a TANK Friday. Oh well, I did make the meeting after which it was decided that more homework had to be done. I hope it isn't by me now that i'm in charge of Data Analytics again. I didn't volunteer. And then I got no less than 12 policies reworked before lunch and asked Emma to check them out and let me know once and for all if they were in the proper format. I figured if I had only a dozen left I could breeze through those sometime this afternoon.

But not before my flu shot. I drove down to Echo Park and I left at 2 PM thinking I'd be there in 20 minutes. Until I saw the traffic on the 10 Freeway. How do we have traffic on the 10 Freeway? Am I the ONLY one working from home? This is what it looked like on a normal Friday. And it's not like I have to get off the freeway and the destination was already there. I had to drive clear across town on Vermont. Google Maps said i'd get there at 2:45. On time for the appointment considering they close shop at 3 PM. But 45 minutes to go anywhere? I hadn't done that in 6 months! As far as the flu shot itself, it took all of 5 minutes if that. But at least I got to experience first hand the entry protocols for our health centers. I got my temp checked. 98.6. And then I decided to drive to Westlake North since it was only a few miles away. I checked in on Larry and Kennedy. I had never seen their office since we all got sent home. I thought it was about time that I did. And so I posted a pic of them in their "room". And then took a picture of Vermont and Wilshire corner for good measure on this nice Friday summer afternoon. I'd be checked out mentally if I were still at the office of course. And by now, most of the management would already be long gone anyway. It was 4 PM.  I'd be thinking of walking to Staples Center to get a do-it-yourself pizza. And tonight was also Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals between the Lakers and Nuggets. Lots of stuff I would have done.  But that was if things were the way they were. Today I drove home and stopped by Burger King to pick up a couple of tacos. I was hungry. It was nice to get out of the house and see that the world is back to a new equilibrium. My equilibrium was to get my steps done and figure out what to eat for dinner. But not before I got ALL my policies done once and for all. I gave it one more sprint burst before 5 PM. And I got finished finally. I wanted to go to bed and close my eyes but I still had stuff to do. I went to the grocery store and picked up a nice sirloin steak. I'm rewarding myself with that for dinner tonight.  And Icaught up on my steps while I was grilling the thing. The problem was that I got caught up with the Lakers winning Game 1. You KNOW i had to watch the post-game. And so when I looked up at 10 PM, I was still barely at 7100 steps. Damn. Do I let my streak die tonight? Can I do 4000 steps in the next hour? The answer of course was yes. But do I want to?  After all Lisa called and let me know she needs to be in her office by 6:30 AM tomorrow. W-h-a-t? Another early morning for me? Sigh. Good news for me was that I DID finish 11000 steps by 11:30 PM. Which meant I didn't get to sleep until it was almost midnight. But whatever I needed to get done I was able to finish today. And that, at least, made me feel good.

Can't Breathe Out Just Yet

I know it's Thursday, and it's the day after yet another Tech Council Meeting. Which usually means I'm chillin' out, I'm taking a deep breath and cruisin' for the day. And if that were true, I'd just go do Johnnie's class schedule, have my usual IS Team Meeting and then call it a day. But I can't. And that's because I find out I now have 24 policies that I need to review by tomorrow. I COULD just blow it off and just let the thing slide through the weekend. But I can't. My work ethic won't let me. I know I can get it done by today, seeing as I don't really have anything on my schedule either. It's not like I really have a good excuse not to get it done. And so I worked on it... but not until after lunch. After all, I was far more involved with Johnnie's Zoom classes, first Computer class and then Music class. I posted a pic of he and I logging in to Zoom for his 9 AM class. That is, of course, after wolfing down his McDonald's deluxe breakfast and getting his half hour of Blippi. I did my team meeting concurrently with his music class and that seemed to work out okay. After all, I didn't need to be around when he's doing his marakas and his rhythm instruments on Zoom. That by itself is a bit strange, but hey we'll make it work. I made sure he was done with all his lessons by 11 AM, and that's because I wanted to go to the store and pick up some mac and cheese for him for his lunch. I'm good with starting him off with a new-old something to eat. I wanted so bad to take a nap too and I reminded myself that I barely slept for 4 hours last night. Which kept up a bad pattern of not-so-good sleep all week long. But that's ok. I can catch up tonight once and for all. Or can I?

I surprised Johnnie after lunch by getting him suited up with his swim trunks. Yep, I felt like he was getting PTSD about his swimming that I wanted to make sure he "got right back up on his horse". And so before it was even 2 PM, we were at the pool. I thought it was promising that he was at least comfortable with going underwater even though it was by the edge. That's the first step. I reminded myself that Johnnie always wants to learn on his terms. And he was doing well too like we did when we last were in the pool together. Until one sequence when he was swimming across, he started getting panicky, so much so that when he got out of the pool I felt like he was hyperventilating. I had to get him to breathe normally which took about 5 minutes. Great Arnel. You were supposed to keep him from getting emotional trauma about swimming. But how he got to panic mode was a bit odd... because I don't know what the trigger was. He was honestly doing well. Now keeping in mind that all kids are mostly in theta, I wonder if this was a different energy I needed to deal with. Could it be that he dealt with someone drowning in a past life? Maybe even himself? Hmmm. All I know is that I wanted to make sure he knew it was safe, and that he could count on me being there. Always. And that I would never let anything bad happen to him. And so when we walked home after an hour, he was back to his smiling self (see picture). We got his Panda express for dinner, Lisa picked him up at 7:30 PM when she decided to become his mom again LOL. And then I spent the rest of the evening finishing out my steps and working on my policies. And I got them done. It was close to midnight when I did but at least I did. And NOW I can tank it tomorrow...

Busy Busy Wednesday

And so today being Tech Council presentation Day I had to make sure I got all my material all done before Johnnie's class even started at 9 AM. That's because I KNEW once his classes begin, my attention was going to be on that with just a little break before his class started up again at 12:10. And then I had to figure out lunch for he and I too, knowing full well we wouldn't really have enough time to go out and get food. But first things first, Johnnie got his classes done with me paying half-attention and then we had to do his lessons. We got done by 10:30 which gave me some sliver of time to look over my agenda. I didn't care so much that it was light today. I noticed on the schedule there were back-to-back-to-back meetings for most of the attendees in that council all the way to 4:30 PM! Me included. I don't think they would mind so much if I cut out earlier than usual. I mean last month I went 10 minutes over. The good thing was that Johnnie actually chose macaroni and cheese for lunch today. He saw the one remaining box i had left which was from months ago. It's been SOOO long since i made him mac-and-cheese. It feels like he ate a lot of it when he was, oh 3 years old! Today, to my surprise, he actually wolfed it down! YES!!! And he even told me that I was such a great mac-and-cheese chef! For me it was more leftovers. I was ok, I had plenty of them. I just had to make sure I wasn't hungry since I had all these meetings to tie me up for the rest of the afternoon. I even got some steps in advance and got all the way to 5000 just so I wouldn't be too far behind when everything got done.

As far as the meeting itself, it went by quickly and uneventfully and was probably my least content-filled meeting in a while. And as I expected we got done in 45 minutes. And then after that came the OCHIN Quarterly meeting, which took more than an hour. So much so a bunch of us had to leave early because we had the regular 3:30 Wednesday huddle which was already getting moved a half hour later. I felt I contributed to the OCHIN meeting. I always do really. And by the last meeting I was all talked out. I nixed any updates, and just mostly listened. When it was all over, I had to breathe a huge sigh of relief. I got through this afternoon's slate of meetings! And got Johnnie's lessons done too. And just to get my body moving, I took Johnnie outside and played baseball with him. We hadn't done that in a really long time. But he showed no rust at all. In fact, he was belting the bell all over the grass area. And with his exercise in, we went to Panda Express Westwood. The usual destination for our Wednesday night. I was perfectly happy to chill the rest of the Wednesday night and I actually looked forward to catching up on sleep. But as it turned out the meeting slate wasn't done. I got a message from Eloisa asking me to join the 6 PM meeting with this thoracic surgeon from City of Hope talking about Health Disparities. I didn't care as long as I didn't have to do or say anything. I actually even flashed back to my dad because the speaker talked about her patients dying of COPD. Like my dad did. Anyway it felt like one of those Cedars-Sinai used to do with their providers back in the day. But they brought in food to attract those providers. Without such a carrot, none of our providers attended... which is probably why Eloisa is texting me at 6 PM asking me to log in to the Zoom call.  I'll be honest I used the time to pay attention to the speaker. But I was also doing aerobics concurrently so I could get my steps in. And when I got done with the call around 7 PM NOW I was able to goof around with Johnnie. Just look at the pic of dad and soon. Goofing around alright.  But really I could relax. Or maybe not... I got a message from Emma that I had 24 policies that were due for QueensCare's Board meeting next week. Sigh. This shit never ends does it? I always said my job felt more like a whole bunch of sprints now rather than a consistent, constant flow of work. And clearly this week was a sprint week. And it doesn't feel like I'm done just yet with the week. The good thing was that Eloisa also pinged me that I was about to lose vacation hours because I had reached the limit. Yep, I have a full 10 weeks of vacation unused. Not a surprise really because I hadn't gone on one in 2 years now. Time to take off a couple of days though that's for sure. I targeted the end of next week. Which means it will be a short week for me. But I still needed to finish this week's sprint first. I tried to buy myself some time but she insisted she needed to get it to Sr Ruth by Monday. Monday?? That means I have to get it done Friday and maybe even get started working on it tomorrow. I sure as heck wasn't going to work on it tonight. I need to catch up on sleep. And THAT was exactly what i did.

Getting Busy Tuesday

Man is this month halfway over already? Johnnie back in my house means it's MY start for the school week even though I feel like I got started yesterday already. And this morning, Johnnie was up and at 'em and ready to go right from the get go.  Look at the pic of him on our way out to pick up his usual Deluxe breakfast at McDonald's. Mask on, Fuzzy by his side, ready to go. I'm starting to get used to his class routine actually. This morning, it's Library first thing, and then Social Studies. And in the middle of all that, I tried to get going with my own workload. I still have a presentation to pull out of my ass after all. I had it in my mind that I'm going to get EVERYTHING done by tonight, although that may mean I may not have a good night's sleep tonight. And by everything, I mean Johnnie has a swim lesson later, I obviously have my exercise routine and the ever-present need to keep Johnnie occupied when he's in the house and not necessarily by giving him some more screen time. Lisa got that all figured out by buying him a gecko. I bought him that cardboard dog house last week LOL. But that thing only caught his attention for all of ONE DAY. Hopefully the attention with the gecko lasts. But last week it was that pet crab too. Sigh. Today I buried him in books on the EPIC school platform, so much so I zipped him through 4 reading levels. Obviously, all that IS self-serving because if I didn't occupy him, there would be no way I could focus on all MY work. Anyway, I worked on putting my material together but as I said before, it is much more difficult trying to pull something out of my ass. I'd be lucky to get 45 minutes of material right about now... and that's ok actually. And so by the time 2 PM rolled around and it was already time for Johnnie's swim lesson, I was actually not all that worried and I was fully present at poolside. I figured I still had the remainder of the day and then tonight to finish it up anyway.

So on to the swimming lesson. I actually felt like Johnnie had regressed last week, especially since he did so well when it was just the two of us. I felt like he finally started to get comfortable in the water. Today Stacy, who is a great instructor BTW, put him through his paces, and it started out really well. But about half hour in, he started reverting back to his fear-of-the-water mindset. By then I started to threaten to throw him in before he would go in the water. And then when Stacy would move, meaning that his lifeline moved, Johnnie turned really whiny and was almost crying. What the heck happened to the confidence I had built last week?? Sigh. At least he did learn that floating on his back was safe and that it was a way to catch his breath so he could keep on swimming with his head underwater. It's taking time, but we have lots of that. And we left today with me already thinking we're coming back at the end of the week. And so with that, I parked Johnnie in front of his Octonauts while I started to work again. It took a while for Johnnie to settle back down to his playful self and by then it was already time for dinner. And time to pick up Panda Express. I still had a lot of leftovers obviously and that was what I ate. And then Johnnie and I actually spent time reading more books on the EPIC website. At this point I don't care about screen time. It is now a necessity and as long as he's learning something, hey it's the new normal. In the middle of all that, I did manage to get in some kind of groove with my work, and also managed to get my steps in too. I still felt like I was juggling a whole bunch of things... especially because I wasn't just working on the Tech Council stuff. I was actually also working my job. I think that as long as I had an idea what I really did want to present, which I did, I was ok. I always feel like I can pull something out of my ass at the last second. Besides, this is actually the first time my presentation didn't have as much material as the last few months at least. It has been since Justin was still working with us which is coming up on a couple of years now that I really did routinely pull presentations out of my ass every month. As it was I had to fight the urge to go to sleep when Johnnie did after 9:30. I got up finished my presentation and when I looked up, it was 1 AM in the morning. But I got it all done. And I didn't go to sleep right then either. That's because I gave in to the distraction that the L.A. Clippers pulled off a MASSIVE CHOKE job yet again and lost to the Nuggets in Game 7 of their series. And so the Clippers-Lakers heavyweight fight isn't going to happen. The Clippers did the Clippers thing. Wow. I had to watch videos about it didn't I? It was as if the Lakers had a big win. Double wow.