Inside All Day

For some reason I thought I had the day off today. It turned out I took a vacation day LAST Friday, when I had that nice TANK DAY. Based on last night's interaction with Lisa I did not expect to be involved with Johnnie's Zoom session this morning. My thinking was that Lisa is a smart person, she can figure things out. Better to let my own negative-influenced state just sort of fade out as I realize that's just me losing focus and letting my ego get the better of things yet again. My ego had basically felt taken for granted again. An old wound that I need to heal. And boy did it fight back. Ergo the shit interaction with Lisa that I now have to clean and clear up from my consciousness this morning. Fortunately without Johnnie this morning, I have all kinds of time to do just that. Except... Lisa called 10 minutes before 9 AM. She sure likes to cut it close doesn't she. Did I not give her the option of being there already this morning? I did not exactly get some kind of apology from last night that my ego demanding. But I had calmed down enough not to pay attention to my ego this morning. And so all I wanted to do was get back to center, get back to balance and help. I stayed on the phone with her until I actually heard Ms Wiley on the Zoom call with Johnnie. And with that knowledge that the computer was working ok, I hopped off the call with Lisa and let them get on with their day, and I went on with mine. I focused on getting back to center. And that meant remembering to be more in the moment. This morning, that was all about looking at my indoor LED garden and noticing that the romaine lettuce had grown to the point that I can actualy pluck some and eat it. I can eat my own salad from my own indoor garden! That's big! Considering the first pic I posted of the garden was on Aug 12 just a little over 2 weeks ago, it means the timeline for the lettuce was 2 weeks. The tomato plants had grown too, but too early to bear fruit just yet. Can't wait until they do. This morning that wasn't my only smell-the-roses moment. I also cooked myself breakfast. But not just the usual breakfast I would have, I made myself a spinach and cheese omelette. And topped it with Trader Joe's pineapple salsa. It was pretty good actually. And I couldn't help but think about the Friday morning breakfasts I would have at the FRB. I would eat them slowly in the porch area and just take... my... time. Like this morning. I took my time not just with breakfast, but also getting ready for the day. Still had to shower and shave you know. But I never did get to those things. In fact, I didn't even change from my sleep clothes. Got as far as responding to a bunch of my emails this morning. Oh work being work, there is still always something to do. But there wasn't anything urgent enough, not for today anyway. I could have taken a TANK DAY today too. And as it turned out... I ended up pretty much cooping myself in the house for most of the day anyway right in the same clothes as I had when I went to bed last night. If I wore pajamas at all, you could say I spent the day in those pajamas. It's really no different when I'm this mode than what I would be doing if I were still working at the FRB today other than being dressed for work.  I'd be hopping from website to website, chasing down items of interest for the day.  And these days, simply making sense of what is going on in the world could be really challening. Not only are still dealing with the pandemic, we are also smack dab in the middle of the Elections coming up and neck deep in the shenanigans of Donald Trump. We are also in the continuing saga of a sea change in attitudes towards racism, with white cops continuing to do shit like shooting black people. I have a lot of opinions over everything going on. But these days, I know I need to take the high ground and actually see over the turbulence and find the path to the Higher Good. How all this is meant to serve us all. Before I knew it, simply navigating these thoughts throughout the day actually did take up all the day. And when I rose back up to the surface, it was already 4 PM. I was not even at 1000 steps yet. That's gotta be the least amount of steps I had done by that time. Like ever. It meant that I essentially stuck myself on the couch all day long. I don't apologize for it, but I also knew I had to get up out of it too. I did do aerobics in my living room, a lot of it while watching Person of Interest. And I did venture out to do grocery shopping. And I decided I wasn't going to cook tonight. Instead I decided to get a personal pizza from Pizza Hut. Sausage, pepperoni and pineapple pizza. And I watched TV. Hey it's Friday night right? That sweet spot of doing nothing before the weekend. Except that I actually did nothing all day long Whaddya know. I took a TANK DAY again after all.