You never really know how much you're affected by stress and what can trigger a response. Which is why the best idea is to be ever vigilant of your own mental state. And why self-care is so important no matter how you can get it. I remember when I lived in Maplewood how actually gardening and watering the grass in the backyard was therapeutic somehow. Which is why I sent off for a LED indoor garden so I can grow stuff again. Hopefully get some therapeutic benefits that way. I'm posting the pic here because I want to see the before and after pics together after it starts growing. One thing is for sure, just putting the stalk of a romaine lettuce that I was about to throw away in a cup of water and leaving it under the sun for a couple of days has already started to sprout new plants. Amazing. Growing my own romaine lettuce. Indoors. Fantastic! I needed the gentle supportive nudge however I could get it this morning because I had that follow-up meeting with AT&T. Now I already realize that I needed to have faith in the outcome resulting in my favor somehow. Even though they had already punted the CTF discount that I was counting on to bring down the $57K balance due amount. After this morning's meeting, I was resigned to at least having to pay the $57K. They wouldn't budge on the discount and to be honest, after the discussion I was very disappointed that AT&T seemed like they didn't care to help. They cited taking money from a hospital who was negligent with the contract. Is that how AT&T makes money? Just let contracts pass and charge when folks forget to turn services off? That is not sounding like a company I would do business with in the future. This is where I miss our old rep Pat Barrett. It was clear that she took care of us. And that the people who took over the account simply didn't. At least the meeting was done and I was done thinking about it anymore. And I moved on to Wednesday as usual. Except that maybe all that AT&T stuff had put me in a lower state of vibration. I realize this because I was starting to work on other stuff and here's Johnnie who's only desire was to hang out with his dad no matter what they were doing as long as they were doing it together. And here I am feeling irritated that he was interrupting whatever flow I was trying to get into. I could feel myself losing patience with him. And only the memory of the Wednesday a week ago when I saw myself yelling at him when he fell from his bike... not even 24 hours after learning how to ride it without training wheels for the first time... yanked me back out of what would have been a similar reaction of some sort. I reminded myself of how lucky I am that Johnnie is providing me with such great content from whatever he was doing by himself and that it was coming from such an amazing kid. By lunchtime I had gotten myself back to balance. And I reminded myself I only had that 3 PM Huddle meeting and then I could go back to routine. I didn't do lessons for Johnnie this week. This is last week of vacation after all and by next week, he will have lessons for real for school. And so I'm letting him just chill since we can't really go anywhere.
Besides, it IS Wednesday and we DO have a routine. It's Panda Express night and even Johnnie realizes that by 5 PM, it's time to drive to Westwood to pick up dinner. By then he had gone through almost an hour of Octonauts and I had resigned myself to letting that be Johnnie's entertainment while he is with me. After all he won't get to do that when he is at Lisa's the rest of the weekend. But I did have one more thing up my sleeve to entertain us both...and the rest of the world too LOL. I got him to sing along to Queen's "Pressure" and I got it all on video too. Now THAT would be something along the lines of a talent show right? I mean I truly was shocked that he knew most of the words. I would have been happy with just the first chorus. He ended up singing along to the whole thing! Of course I had to post it on FB! I'm thinking whenever I feel low in terms of vibration like I did at the start of the day, this video is all i have to watch. Instant, immediate feel-good vibes. Johnnie and I skipped shower tonight. Sort of an end-of-summer kind of thing. I'm trying to make like we were in Santa Barbara and we're just hanging out dad and son. And I let him save all his work too in the living room. We'll clean it all up tomorrow. We're on vacation right? HEY just the thought of that helps MY mental state too. It is all good!
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