So today is the last day of June. Man where did the month go? I'm looking at pictures from May and it seemed like they were all just yesterday. Or is it that the days are starting to run into each other and I'm losing track of time? Certainly my time markers are out of whack. This would be the time during my marriage with Lisa that we'd be going to Europe somewhere, as recently as Greece. But that has now been 3 years ago. I didn't do anything in June 2018 because I was preparing to move out, I didn't do anything last year because I was getting used to playing hermit, and now because of coronavirus I don't get to do anything this year. Oh well... I might as well focus on the fact that at least I have Johnnie with me for the next 3 days and for those 3 days, my intention is to be a really good dad. Not as easy as it sounds especially when he's supposed to be enjoying summer break such as it were and I'm doubling up with working from home. I did think up a good puzzle for him so that he could learn to write his address... at least Lisa's and Maplewood is not an easy word. But I did do the sort and color thing so he could learn it and he did learn to write it after a while. OK OK I only did it because i wanted him to finish all 10 things on this reading and language arts assessment I had him do. This is supposed to be the norm for finishing kindergarten... to be able to write your name and differentiate caps and non-caps letters AND to be able to write your address. He got both done, the rest he could already do. BAM!
Now about the being-a-good-dad part... for lunch I made him udon and I wanted him to have some protein too. Made him some chicken nuggets from my freezer that looked like the McDonald's version, this one from Ralphs. But there is no fooling my child. I maybe negotiated him to getting some in his mouth. But there is no getting him to eat something he does not feel like eating. And when I made him eat half of one piece, simply because i had already baked up 6 pieces, he wasn't having it. And when he was going to throw it up right there in the living room, I lost it. I shoved him in the bathroom and let him throw it up in the toilet. And i yelled at him for doing so. And only when he cried and cuddled with me with an explanation, almost begging me not to get mad did I get embarassed at my actions. Really? Was I going to bully my own child into eating some shitty chicken? Right at that moment I realized I had snapped into something I did not and would not like. And only my son's sobbing face snapped be back. FORTUNATELY, kids forgive and forget quickly naturally. And as soon as I said he didn't have to eat any more chicken and gave him the choice to eat udon did he go back to his smiling self. How did I know? Because he was back to joking around and playing with me like he always does. He loves you you know, I found myself telling myself. Don't do that temper shit anymore. OK. I will work on that. In the meantime having nothing else to fall back on, I made the day like a school day. And that would include the Maximo stuff for PE, double-digit addition stuff that 1st graders do <which he handled just fine>, and some reading that he did himself from education.com. Not to mention at least 3 books from Bookflix. That took up the bulk of the day and before I knew it, he was already asking to go ride around the neighborhood in our scooters. If there is anything he has taken to is riding that scooter. And I take full credit for getting him going on it and getting him to have confidence. That's a very big deal I think when raising a toddler. You've got to give a child something he can develop full confidence in himself in. Not to mention it allows me to get out and enjoy a beautiful summer afternoon. This would be good enough. Although he still does fall every once in a while. Not today though. We went a ways though and on the way back, he declared that he was so hungry he wanted to get Panda Express teriyaki chicken for dinner. W-h-a-t? But what about our Tuesday night barbecue? I guess we'll make it Wednesday lunch Italian sausage barbecue instead. And have dinner at Panda Express tonight. 2nd week in a row we're blowing off Italian sausage barbecue night. it's ok. We kept it up since the fall. Time for a different routine I guess, and that is perfectly ok. And so June went quickly by, with Johnnie watching Octonauts <which gives him a chance to learn about sea creatures the way he learned about dinosaurs with the Dinosaur Train> and me thinking about the month that was. If there IS something to remember about June 2020 they were mostly about the things I usually did that I didn't get to do. Dr. Deutsch's birthday lunch. The Disneyland day-trip with Johnnie. LA Zoo too. Not even Johnnie's last days as TK was routine. But I do get to spend time with him and THAT is even better for me.
As Monday brings on another new week, my awareness is on the fact that June is fast coming to an end tomorrow, that this is a short week, and that the 4th of July weekend is upon us in a few days - hence the short week. Unfortunately, due to a surge in coronavirus cases, LA County has closed all beaches and banned all fireworks displays. So much for going over to Balwan and Sharon and watching fireworks on top of their apartment. Although there has been some underlying negativity about that I need to purge if I haven't already. Two years ago, Lisa called from Hawaii while I was with Balwan and Sharon watching. 2 weeks later I moved out. Last year would be the last time I can remember really having it out with Lisa and that was because of some stuff going on with her family yet again. So much so, I bugged out of going with them to see Sharon and Balwan and basically just stayed home and watched a movie. Boy when will I ever get to do THAT again huh? <watch a movie I mean> though really I haven't missed anything. Anyway, this being a Monday and all and a morning without Johnnie, I focused on setting my intentions for the day and for the week and I took a nice shower <which I hadn't taken one all weekend>. Made myself some corned beef hash and eggs for breakfast. And just let myself be. The morning meditation was all about keeping my vibration high and watching my own thoughts. And reminding myself that I am still on procrastinate mode and I need to really focus on the outcomes I needed to accomplish within the context of keeping my vibration high. It's funny that things came up that were to-do's that I have basically not gotten to. Getting my taxes done, car registration, driver's license renewal. Oh that. I actually had an appointment at the DMV today. But I cancelled it. I'm not going to a COVID hotspot @ the DMV near USC. Why risk it? Hopefully I won't regret cancelling it. Anyway the only thing on my schedule today was the Monday Business Continuity Meeting and when that was done by 11:30, all I had to do was do some minimal work for the rest of the day.
The other big thing on the docket today was of course Johnnie pick-up. I spent some time trying to line up things for him to do for tomorrow. And as I was going through some reading and language assessments for kids his age, I saw that one of the things kindergarteners were supposed to learn was how to write their address. OK then. Something new for Johnnie to master. Isn't that true for me too. Isn't it time to master the health and energy healing thing and the financial independence thing? Maybe it's the fact that this year is almost half over that some urgency has come over me. Anyway I posted a pic of me doing aerobics in the afternoon. It's so much faster racking up the steps doing that than just walking around the neighborhood. Always brings back memories of those aerobics classes in the 80s. With Sonia Parra at the old Bally's. Today I had no sooner gotten done when I got a call from Lisa. They were out and about and I would learn later had hung out at the La Brea Tar Pits all afternoon. Anyway Lisa wanted to drop off Johnnie right from where they were which was perfectly fine. And so by 5 PM, I had Little Bug back with me again. And no sooner had he entered my apartment that he asked for dinner and wanted to watch a video. He specifically wanted chicken noodle soup though so we detoured to Whole Foods and then I made him penne pasta and put it in the chicken broth... like always. And he ate an entire 2 bowls full too. No comment here about possibly not having had lunch. He's with me now. And on to Octonauts, his new favorite series for the rest of the evening. Look at the pic of him I posted just being his usual happy energetic self. He told me all about his afternoon at La Brea tar Pits with mom and Courtney. Apparently he had taken his scooter too and rode around the outside area for a bit. He told me he fell a few times and got a boo-boo in the process. But he brandished it like a medal for bravery or something. I was glad he had fun and got outside. It IS summer after all. Especially after all the learning stuff I throw at him and plan to continue to throw at him. Last day of June coming up.
I thought about my bubble and how Jodi <the possible romantic interest that I so quickly and willingly let go of> told me that I wasn't experiencing loneliness in the time of coronavirus lockdown simply because I have Johnnie with me a big chunk of the week. That may be true. But there was also golf and I was so glad to be playing again after several months on the sideline, if not for the golf then at least for the social aspects too. Especially today. We played at Roosevelt Golf Course today and i also presented Scott with my old golf cart. Since Lisa graciously gave me her golf cart to use, then I thought it was only appropriate to give Scott my rickety cart. I had that thing for only 2 years, the first purchase i made when I left the Maplewood house and it's been well used clearly. But it's still much better than those crap carts Scott rents every Sunday. And he paid for my round this morning too. So the last time I played here at Roosevelt, I had a HORRENDOUS game. I couldn't hit anything from the fairway after hitting mostly nice tee shots. And so I knew I had to make some adjustment. I also focused on simply getting myself relaxed and slowing down my swing. I told myself this morning to simply focus on the learning opportunity so that I could learn to be more consistent. More consistent at golf, more consistent with my daily spiritual practice, more consistent with reaching high vibrations as often as possible. That's already pretty good with today's intentions right? So back to the golf. No Chris today but Greg is just as formidable. Today I actually shot 2 pars... both on the short holes. Hole3 and Hole9. I was still having my fairway issues but not as bad as last week. I actually had pretty good shots, but couldn't get myself out of trouble when I hit close to out of bounds. I have got to figure out why I whiff so much on the fairway. I simply can not slow my swing down. Finally on Hole 7 I realized that I was thinking too much and when I do that is when I whiff. The balance is in getting to "relaxed" and not thinking too much while also not swinging blindly at the ball. I realize that is my life lesson too: Not to overthink things, just let go and cede control to the Universe. Isn't that what I have to learn to do with life too? I at least won 3 holes today, 2 of them outright. Although I didn't beat Greg, I did ok enough. Just need to do a bit better next time. If I can win 3, maybe I can win 5 right? And although it started cloudy and a bit overcast first thing when we got there, the sun did peep out by the time we got done and I was home by 11:30 AM too. Which leaves me the entire afternoon. Usually if this were 4 months ago, I'd be at Crimson enjoying some salmon kabob. In the time of coronavirus, I drove to IN-N-Out Culver City and had just as enjoyable a lunch as a double-double with fries and a Coke. Gotta indulge yourself every once in a while you know? I didn't know if Lisa would call to invite me to dinner... but with Courtney in the house, that wasn't likely. And so I just spent the afternoon on the couch vegging, finishing my laundry, and actually enjoying that I had gotten enough activity in the last 6 days that whatever I did today or didn't do today was enough... or didn't matter. I was already at almost 78000 miles after golf and so I didn't even bother to try to reach 10000. Not today. Sometimes you need a rest day too right? I finished the rest of my grocery shopping, and actually bought ingredients for my famous beef stew. Which I made in my Instant Pot. This gives me a good 3 meals in the next week. And tonight, the very first one is ALWAYS the best. Nice and hot and eaten with fresh Italian bread. And watching Snow Piercer and then NOS4A2 back to back. A perfectly decent Sunday... and considering I had Johnnie yesterday? It was not a bad idea to have today to myself actually. I'll see him again tomorrow anyway. And with that as I watched the sunset I also thought this is the last few days of June too. And we are now well into the summer. And what a different summer it's going to be...
As tired as i was already from getting only about 4 hours of sleep, i still get a call from Lisa at 6:15 telling me she needs me to pick up Johnnie at 7:15 because she actually starts work at 7:30 AM today. Great. Even less sleep for me. But there I am dutifully at her doorstep at 7:15 AM ready to pick up Johnnie. It is back to Lisa-working-on-a-Saturday routine as this is the first time she is working Saturday since mid-March. Of course the difference is that Elysee has been closed and just did reopen but since I myself have a morning appointment for a cleaning at Lisa's, we didn't have time to go there today. There is also the Target run but that we can do after my appointment. Still, I picked up Johnnie and we did our usual McDonald's breakfast run instead and it became breakfast-as-usual for he and I. And I barely had enough time to brush and floss and make my 9:30 AM appointment. Her office obviously has reconfigured to allow for the new coronavirus protocols and I was actually pretty impressed how they have adapted. And for today, there were 3 patients in the waiting all socially distanced. Sandy did my cleaning this morning and I had a lot of "barnacles" in my back teeth since I hadn't had a cleaning in more than 6 months. They can't do polishing yet, but my teeth did get a very good cleaning. Johnnie in the meantime, was such a good boy doing drawings in the front until I was done and then when his hour attention span got done, I could hear him laughing in the front which was just about the time I got done. And then he said goodbye to his mommy and then we went on to... Target. I needed to buy some paper towels and toilet paper. And so this part at least felt like old Saturdays in the past when I would have Johnnie on a Lisa workday Saturday. Felt normal. And you know how I like routine. By the time we got out of Target it was already 11:30 AM. And so while we were still in Westwood I figured I'd just go on ahead and pick up lunch from Panda Express. Yep, just like those old Saturday Lisa workdays again. Of course we can't eat in there anymore just yet, but who cares. I posted a pic of Johnnie and I waiting to get our order in. The best feeling in the world for me these days is when Johnnie clutches me or my hand. Just like in the picture. And so we had our little retro Panda Express lunch I remember when I used to drive up and down Sawtelle just to get Johnnie to fall asleep as recently as 2 years ago. Who knew then that I would end up living right on the same street LOL.
Anyway no falling asleep for him anymore these days. I just have to keep him occupied with Peep and Chirp, or Cat-In-the-Hat, or much more recently he actually liked LEGO Guardians of the Galaxy, and LEGO Superheroes. Today it was me that needed a nap and I told him to watch a video while I tried to take one. I did manage to shut my eyes and drop off for about 10 minutes, which is just about all I needed at least right then. I knew Lisa wouldn't pick Johnnie up until she got done with work stuff, got done with her notes and for today, her office was closing at 2:30 PM. Which would put it right around 6 PM that she would be coming around to pick him up. Until then we did have more errands to run. After all, I hadn't done grocery shopping yet. And I know Johnnie just loves hanging out with his mom when she goes shopping. Today it's with dad. And so there we are at Ralphs getting food for the week, including btw some fresh roasted turkey and salmon that I was going to give to Lisa. Every Saturday I would get her groceries. Why not get some now LOL?! In the middle of all that I get this surprise phone call from Jorge in San diego. Apparently USC had laid him off and his last day is in mid-July. He has been laid off by USC so many times in my mind that I had lost track. But in this world of the pandemic where there is literally very few people at USC, I believe they are serious this time. I can't believe it's actually been 7 whole years since we last worked together at USC. I can still remember him meeting up with me in downtown LA so I could buy me some suits for work. Seven years ago. Probably almost to the day. I think he was reaching out just so he could keep me up to speed and I'm glad. There isn't much in the way of helping him that I could do. Heck we already hire him routinely at QueensCare. And he's doing Barbara's wiring. But it's good to get reminded that there is the world outside of the bubble I've created. And that there are still people that I care about that care about me too. And speaking of the bubble, I got the timing with Lisa spot on pretty much. She got done and came around to pick up Johnnie around 6 PM just like I predicted. And when I gave her turkey and salmon she must have felt grateful because she offered to trade that for her leftover Panini Grill salmon kabobs and rice. Ahh those leftovers from those Saturday lunches at Lisa's office. A distant memory now but still a pretty strong memory. Tonight I grabbed half the kabobs and left the other half for Lisa to feed Courtney with. Apparently she's coming over tonight and so she's going to need to get food... hey a pretty fair trade I think. And tonight I get a pretty nice salmon kabob dinner, and quite an unexpected one at that. Nothing wrong with just hunkering down for my Saturday night, especially since I already got to spend the day with Johnnie. I was just thinking how we already got used to the Saturday routine, with the breakfasts and the shopping, and Lisa practicing piano. Heck weren't we just at Marina del Rey about a month ago? And so now we have a new old routine. I ended up watching the end of Roswell Season 2. And when I got done with that I moved back to Jessica Jones. Hey, Marvel you know. How did I turn into a binge watcher all of a sudden. Maybe not so all of a sudden. I did have a pretty nice, and quiet Saturday though. And with Johnnie? It was perfect.
It's like I woke up today somewhat of a different person. Maybe it was some of the videos I watched last night which reminded of the path I seek towards being MORE AWAKENED. It's like they say...we ALL need reminders sometimes of who we really are. For today that means paying a heck of a lot more attention to my energy body, paying a lot more attention to my thoughts. I feel like I embarked on this long hike and I took a rather long rest. Which kind of started when I felt those aches in my legs more than a month ago now. And it feels like I came off the wagon in terms of daily habits that support me went back to past ego thinking. And it seems like I stayed there for about a month. I think I need to be more of a part of a community, even virtually to stay on track. Because it is THAT easy to be pulled off track. So what does it mean to stay on track? For starters to start doing daily habits that keep my vibration high and my thought patterns positive. Morning meditation is first on the list, and with that come setting my intentions for the day. Today I am even going to list those :) Intentions:
While I am at work, to continue to provide MASSIVE VALUE
Focus on my thoughts, keeping them as positive as possible, keep my vibration as high as possible
Plan and implement for new revenue streams... LEARN
Do something with the money I already have. Invest the E*Trade account?
TRAINING TRAINING
I was also aware that today is Friday payday and anytime you get paid, you're grateful especially during these times of uncertainty. I mean I have more than $40,000 in the bank. IN CASH. That means I can sustain my present standard of living for a minimum of 8 months counting vacation pay owed me. I'm good financially. And so with the meditation and intention setting I was a lot more clear this morning, but time also flew by as quickly as anything. As in by the time I got around to doing stuff, it was already almost 11 AM. Oh well, it's just like as if I were in the office then isn't it LOL. Nothing wrong with a Tank Friday such as it were, this being the last Friday in June and all. Can you believe it? The year is already halfway over! Ok so I didn't do too much today and during the last Friday Huddle call of the week, I didn't have much to share really. Neither did anybody else so the meeting was done in less than a half hour. I think we're all in need of a break actually. I was thinking that wasn't it yesterday I was doing this call with Lisa and Johnnie in the car? Was that already a full week ago? This days are starting to run into each other.
And so by early evening I decided to do something different. I decided to do a little bit of ME time. I finished my aerobics exercises doing nothing but my own tracks, got to 10,000 steps and when I got there, i went to the spa and just relaxed there for a good 45 minutes. I might not have taken a shower this morning, but after this, I got a shower in anyway. I remember wondering if coronavirus could survive in spa conditions. Very hot water and chemicals? I seriously doubt it. But I did wonder why the building closed it down. Everyone is just being cautious I guess. After all, now the rest of the country is starting to have a surge in cases. Texas. Florida. Arizona. Alabama. Trump country. You feel bad for them but did they not learn from New York and California? Anyway I did the spa thing and then I barbecued the Italian sausage that Johnnie and I didn't eat last Tuesday. Except that it had sat too long and it didn't taste good. What a waste. Still I had plenty of leftovers left to have a decent meal. heck I always have way more food in the fridge than just for me anyway. And then it was on to Netflix night. I was reading somewhere that theaters were really trying to re-open. Why? Experience the big screen? Not enough value actually.. I'm good watching stuff on my own big screen TV which isn't really big screen but I don't give a shit. Tonight I was going to finish off Jessica Jones Season 1. i mean she is a Marvel Superhero and all. And I was thinking I was already in relaxed mode... enough so I can get another pretty good night's sleep. Considering I needed to be at Lisa's really early next morning it was a necessity actually. She is finally back to opening up her Saturdays at her office. And I even made an appointment to get a cleaning myself. But tonight I ended up binge-watching Roswell New Mexico Season 2... already a reboot from Roswell series in the 90s. I don't know what it is with these Sci-Fi series that draws me in actually. By the time I got done it was already almost 2 AM! Oh well, binge watch Friday night I guess. So much for getting a good night's sleep. I guess we're just hoping to get any sleep at all...
You know all these months I've had Johnnie at home in the middle of the week and juggling home-schooling and watching him for the good part of the day, I never really realized that THAT by itself is stressful. I remember what Lisa herself said to me one day... which is that she understands the juggling act between getting work done and also taking care of Johnnie and not really doing all that well in both. This morning maybe I was in a more self-aware state because I saw myself get stressed just trying to make sure Johnnie had something to occupy himself with all day. And that with all the consciousness expansion path I'm trying to stay on, work and Johnnie is still the primary focus of my attention. And everything else is not easy. But I also wouldn't trade time with Johnnie with anything. He MAY push my patience to its limits every single day. But he more than makes up for it when I just hear him giggle and laugh and when he tries to climb up the back of the sofa to stalk me a like a tiger and try to jump on the back of my neck. Yes... he IS playing. And I love that he does that. If there are any enduring moments during this time of coronavirus, most of it is about this time with Johnnie. But it IS different when school was still in session than now. And today, I find myself still trying to figure out how what to do with his time. So this morning art "class" was about drawing Pete the Cat and PE was about more Maximo LOL. Lunch was chicken strips from Carl's Jr...which meant that my lunch was a BEYOND cheeseburger. Hey, anytime I can enjoy a good burger and not actually be eating real meat, it's gotta be good right?
OK so I didn't actually do too much work today. Or did I? I did get my Team Meeting done, I did get all those renewal contracts executed finally. And I did manage to look at my own Performance Eval from last year so i can do my self-assessment for this year. And hey I did all that stuff AND get some aerobics in too, which got me to a lot of steps by mid-afternoon. And then it was time to go scootering with Johnnie. I didn't realize that we've actually been doing this thing for almost a month now and I'm so happy he's getting more and more confident by the day. I can say that doing these kinds of things with him definitely keeps my vibration high. Just the sight of him using his little legs to propel him on that little scooter going right on down the street makes me smile. Today we went the back way to Mar Vista Elementary via Palms and Mar Vista Park and then back around the regular way home. It also made me smile thinking of some future, distant or otherwise where I'd be picking him up from school or STAR classes and scootering home together. Anyway when we got back I started to wind him down so he'd be read for Lisa pick-up by right around 7:30. He wouldn't have much more dinner than 6 pieces of McDonald's chicken McNuggets. Funny how he eats nothing but pasta at Lisa's but with me, he eats nothing but chicken LOL. I guess that's a balance huh? Anyway I had him watching Peep and Chirp for a while and then wanted to play with him one last time before handing him off. And of course play time between he and i usually means rough-housing time. And so by 7:30 PM he was sweaty and his shirt got a bit dirty. He looked like the way he would when I would pick him up from school. Hey, if he's dirty that means he had a good fun time right? So Lisa was actually on time tonight pretty much and pick-up was uneventful. See the pic I took of Johnnie and I right as she was driving up? Afterwards I finished up my 11,100+ steps, which wasn't that much left, and then I cleaned up the apartment. Amazing how much rice particles he leaves on the floor LOL. Anyway with my apartment much cleaner, I was able to watch TV much more "relaxed". And I relaxed means pretty good sleep.
So it's midweek and I'm feeling like I'm just hanging on to what I know, which means I'm on autopilot once again. Which is not good. What does that mean? We get up, we go to McDonald's, we get Johnnie's Deluxe Breakfast... we've done this so much I don't even have to make an order when we drive up, all I have to do is make face contact with the person taking the order. This by itself isn't that bad, after all at least I can be sure he's eating eggs and sausage in the morning. And I would much rather buy it than make it. It costs just as much as my usual breakfast at the FRB such as it were. Where I start to get stressed is after breakfast. What program do I put Johnnie on today? So far I've been giving him a lot of art classes, trying to balance learning with a sense of fun. And today the lesson was how to draw the Cat-In-the-Hat, one of his favorite things to watch. The learning is for me as well. How do I deal with Johnnie when he gets impatient? Already he is showing signs of needing to be perfect, needing to "win" all the time. How do I create balance in those areas? To keep with the "fun" theme, I got Johnnie doing Maximo exercises. The funny thing was it seemed to have been removed from GoNoodle. I had to go to YouTube to find them. May have been because of the perceived racial insensitivity of the character itself. I myself thought this was a character in a blackface but with a Latino accent. I thought it was harmless. But not in this current time right now I guess. Anyway, for us, it's just a PE session so Johnnie can have some activity simulated to what he was doing in class. Later on, I would augment that with some baseball in the barbecue area, for both he and I. For Johnnie so that he could get out of the house, for me so that I could get out of the house too LOL. I pointed out to him that when he is actually focused, as in when he is looking for the ball to hit, he does hit it every.single.time. Which is a very good thing. Eye-hand coordination and all. As was the exercise I came up with to cut out stuff, color it and paste it all back together to spell words. Today it was all about the Cat-In-The-Hat. The thing too about Johnnie is that I know he didn't actually take much of a lunch when he was in school. But here at my house... and ESPECIALLY at my house, he knows he will eat. I'll be damned if I let him learn Lisa's unhealthy eating patterns. Today Johnnie had it in his mind that we would scooter to Whole Foods so we could get some pizza. I was actually happy to do just that even though my intention was to make myself some noodles and beef for lunch. I was glad that he was getting so much confidence in the scooter and riding it. He did do a pretty bad spill on the ride back because he didn't pay attention and rode into a patch of grass. He got right back up though and instead of crying or even acknowledging any kind of hurt, he just hopped right back on after a minute and rode on home. THAT'S MY BOY!! Anyway, it IS a Wednesday and before you think all I did was do Johnnie stuff all day, I did manage to get my contracts all done! That would be THREE contracts thank you very much. And so I actually worked today too. And I did have the afternoon huddle which was moved to 3 PM. Which allowed Johnnie to have a little video time before we got out of the house again, this time to get dinner at Panda Express. It IS Wednesday after all and even though we just had it last night, I wanted to keep the routine of driving to Panda Westwood. Look at the pic of Johnnie playing on the handrails as if they were gymnastics bars. All good. We went home and enjoyed our Panda Feast, and then I put on the Old Magic School bus for Johnnie. And then afterwards, he wanted to watch the first Frozen movie too. All good. It's all eating up chunks of time. I got some work in too while he watched and also did my aerobics to finish 11,100+ steps for the day. And 30+ minutes of cardio. This is now a new routine I guess. As is taking a night shower with Johnnie. He was so sweaty from the scooter ride, and that is perfectly ok. At first I titled this post mid-week autopilot. But with that said, I think we managed to have a pretty good day anyway. And as he knocked off to sleep next to me I felt gratitude. Yes these are different, unique, and challenging times. But as long as I got to have time with Johnnie, autopilot or not, it is ALL good.
So here it is I'm now right in the middle of summer. I am working from home and Johnnie is with me for the next few days. I remember last year around this time I just spontaneously took him to Disneyland. Man I'm so glad I did too, now that we don't even know when the Happiest Place on Earth is going to open again. Today I'm just trying to settle on a set plan to keep Johnnie occupied all day. I do have resources I've already tried. There's Khan Academy for kids, there's the bookflix website. There's education.com, even ABCMouse. For some reason thought it's this low-tech thing I devised that Johnnie really took to. I just make him spell out sight words, color them, cut them out, match them with a picture... something I'm able to draw obviously and then paste them all fixed up. This one activity takes up to a half hour actually. Which was just enough time for me to have my IS Team Meeting first thing this morning. And then of course there is Maximo on Youtube. Because they had taken it down from GoNoodle. Maybe because it's a blackface kind of character, they might have thought it would offend. Me? It's one more thing I can use to keep Johnnie active and occupied. And so today I actually did just that... keep him active and occupied. Art from Khan Academy. Drawing class from YouTube. Math from Freckle (and actually it was easy enough to just create a page of equations just like at STAR). Books from Bookflix. I think I was covered. See the pic I posted of him doing art. And simultaneously, I kept MYSELF occupied by doing my own aerobics class, discovering that I actually cover a lot more steps and do better with my cardio doing just that than simply walking around anywhere. And I was able to do it while on break doing work work. The week after Tech Council is usually pretty light but with all the administrative stuff I have to do, I'm actually pretty busy. Right off the bat I have not one but THREE contracts I have to push through because they are expiring. As in tomorrow! Fortunately I don't have to deal with Alan anymore and his inconsistent timing of the contracts. And then I have personnel reviews due next week and my own self-eval due Friday. Still, as you can see, by 3 PM I called it a day as far as JOhnnie's lessons and called it a day as far as my work. I mean do I really even stop working anyway? Don't I reply to emails at any hour pretty much? Still I find the now regular afternoon scooter ride with Johnnie pretty nice actually. Today we paid his school another visit, realizing that summer session online has actually started. Johnnie did the loop to the school and all the way back home pretty easily actually and didn't fall once today. He did work up a sweat that he himself had to cool down outside. He was actually so hungry that he asked for Panda Express for dinner. Mind you Panda Express night used to be Tuesday night originally back in the days of Carmen's Day Care. And so I thought it was ok to break off routine and get Panda Express for he and I, even if it meant eating it 2 nights in a row. Besides, we might go off routine for barbecue Italian sausage and soccer but we could still do cookies tonight. Even then Johnnie has developed a preference for ice cream sandwich which I bought a package last week. Hey I would do. It's summer after all. And so it was that I think I pretty much successfully replicated a school day for Johnnie, even though it IS summer and I really should find more entertaining stuff to do. Don't want to overload him too much. Not that he would let me anyway. He IS a playful spirit and everything is play to him and I would definitely not want to mess with that. When he's in play mode, he can pretty much do anything he puts his mind to. As for me, I think I'll be able to get contracts through this week actually. Just one thing to tick off my list and that's ok. Johnnie pretty much played all through bedtime prep and his shower. And he did talk me into joining him. It's actually better showering at night, then I don't have to worry about missing it in the morning LOL which I am prone to do. Today I didn't do the formal meditation scan that I did yesterday morning. But I did manage to slow down on my way to sleep and do a meditation scan then. That was to examine all the things that went through my mind today as much as possible and hopefully find and release things that needed to be released. Yesterday it was the ego thing with the Approvals app. Today it was all about Johnnie and I realized that no matter what, I actually did feel pretty close to him all day, which meant that my vibration was high for most of the day. And that is a very good thing.
Maybe it was the hour I spent this morning actually scanning my emotional body and also my physical body actually to see if there was any residual negative energy I needed to clear first thing. Consequently my vibration was high first thing this morning and I sustained it pretty much through the day. Except maybe for a brief ego bout later in the day. The picture I posted was of me after making myself a corned beef and eggs breakfast and eating it while dancing to "Only When You Leave" Spandau Ballet. Yes you can unpack that any way you like. Why that song? I don't know other than it was on my mind when I woke up this morning. I hadn't heard that song in decades and then when I started getting into aerobics again and thus flashing back to all those songs I used to compile for Resur's classes, I rediscovered "to Cut a Long Story Short" and then "Only When You Leave". No emotional significance really. At least not that I can discern right then, just that I was happy and energized. Probably also because I took a shower for the first time since Thursday night LOL. Boy did I need it. Anyway I kept up the high energy all through the morning, even through the 10:30 Business Continuity Meeting. That meeting lasted a pretty good hour but that wasn't so bad. I had so much energy that I even did some aerobic exercises right in the middle of the afternoon. Makes it easy to get to 11,000 steps that way. Especially after I walked to whole Foods at lunchtime. This enabled me to enjoy the nice summer day this turned out to be. I did have a bit of a blip though when I saw what Kennedy and Greg Stevens were doing with the Approvals Center project. I have sort of let them run loose and it's pretty clear that I need to rein them in a little. In that sense I do remember what my boss Eloisa told me and that was that I AM the IS Director and I need to direct. Sometimes it is NOT a democracy especially when it is my ass on the line. Kennedy is enthusiastic and well-meaning but really REALLY inexpeirenced. Greg is too and knows a lot about the Purchasing process, but he can not see the data relationships like someone like me can. And so when I saw all these channels in the Purchasing Team, I sort of freaked. I had to have a conversation with Kennedy and it is really difficult to be the IS Director without engaging my own ego. This was the first time I felt negative energy all day. And I need to acknowledge that negative energy is something I need to transmute, not empower. And only when I don't give control to my ego will I be able to do that.
Anyway, 5:30 PM came soon enough and I got back to positive energies and higher thoughtforms. I picked Johnnie up and helped Lisa bring in her trash bins and helped Johnnie clean up. And then off we went. Johnnie got as far as asking for chicken mcNuggets for dinner before I discovered that he knocked off to sleep in the backseat right as I was in line at the McDonald's Drive-thru. I had to carry him in to the apartment. I will say this... he has gotten much bigger and a little heavier and it is harder to carry him now than ever before. But carrying him in while I can will never get old. He will forever be my little boy. The picture I posted is sort of my belated Father's Day picture. So I put him down on the bed and let him sleep. Which gave me time to just chill and keep watching Jessica Jones on Netflix <latest series I'm binging on>. As I thought, i got to 11,000 steps before it was even 7 PM. And I made myself some ground pork and bok choy dish in oyster sauce. It as an old favorite of mine to make even back in the day when I was still with Lisa. When she still ate this stuff sort of. Now she eats fish mostly and not really that much else. But I can hardly blame her for her diet considering her condition. By 8 PM, I decided to wake Johnnie up. I could let him sleep through but I didn't want him to wake up at midnight and be up for another couple of hours. Turned out he did wake up and I immediately gave him his chicken McNuggets. And got him to wash it down with milk+pediasure. I think he got a pretty nutritious dinner after all. And then I let him watch some Peep & Chirp. Really he was only up a couple of hours before it was time for his shower and his prep for real bedtime. As it was I know he knocked off in the afternoon because he was tired. I think Lisa mentioned she and Johnnie walked to the store. They probably walked at least a couple of miles and I'm sure Johnnie got tired. Anyway he didn't have any problems going right back to sleep before 10 PM. Monday in the books.
Today is Father's Day and since I'm one of those people that don't live off other people's compliments, I'm ok just acknowledging myself. As a father I think I give myself a B+ at least for the last 3 months of coronavirus. I think I'm doing a pretty good job juggling taking care of Johnnie and working from home. But I also know I'm not perfect and there are things about me that I need to continue to work on, things I most definitely do not want Johnnie to pick up. He already has a bit of his mom's perfectionist streak already. Which is also mine by the way. But enough of that... I'm supposed to be being celebrated today. And ME time most definitely includes golf. And so I head out to Altadena Golf Course first thing to make an 8:10 AM tee time. Today I'm playing with Scott and Chris, but no Greg. And that's ok. Last week it took at least 2 holes for me to warm up and after my first 2 horrible swats on the first hole tee, I knew I needed the warmup time. Like last week, it took 2 holes for me to finally have a good tee shot on Hole 3. And I actually hit a par on the longest hole on 4. Won the hole outright. And it would be the only hole I would win outright, and the only hole Chris would not tie or win. Yep, it was pretty much a blowout with him winning 8 holes. I won 3 holes so I played decent. After the first 2 holes, I hit quite a few nice drives actually. And towards the end, the last 3 holes, I was actually chipping from 100 yards in right on the green. I finally learned to do that! The best part was simply that I got to go out and play and I didn't stink it up LOL. And that we got done by 10:30 AM and I was home pretty much by 11 AM. I was so looking forward to taking a nice, long, afternoon nap. After all, I wasn't even sure Lisa would call so we could all have dinner. I made myself some of that chicken piccata from Trader Joe's and the leftover chicken rice from Friday for lunch and just hunkered down on the couch. I didn't plan on leaving there for a while. Until I got a call around 1 PM. It was Lisa...
It would appear that they didn't go to her dad's house after all. In fact they were home all morning. And she asked me to come over to do the car wash thing like we did on Mother's Day. I told her yesterday that maybe I would come over to wash my car since they weren't going to be home and she said it was ok. But I was only 50-50 on that. More like 30-70 now. But I guess I could come over. She promised dinner too after all. And I remind myself that I hadn't done that in the last 3 weeks. How bad could it be? The car wash itself was not nearly as bad as a month ago during Mother's Day. That was because both of our cars had the dirt of more than 2 months of lockdown, not to mention dog hair from Zucco in Lisa's car. So the interior clean was done in minutes. And the car wash, at least for Lisa's car, should have been done and uneventfully dried in minutes as well. Except when she drove it into the garage and she noticed it was dripping. Uhhh… the car was just washed Lisa. She went agro over water marks it was causing. On a garage floor. I mean how did she deal with it during rainy days?? And then I remembered she blew up also a month ago during the last car wash for the very same reason. Perhaps we shouldn't be washing the car?? LOL. Anyway she managed to calm down and I managed at least to wash my car. It's nice to see it clean again. And then we all sort of took an impromptu 15-minute power nap, Lisa in the garage and me in the backyard chair lounge. The last time I laid down there was the Sunday before I left this house. It was like my body was reminding me. Anyway Lisa made pilaf and already had some really good home-made tabbouleh. To go along with the baked swai actually made for a really good dinner. A nice Father's Day dinner and I appreciated it a lot. We even ate out in the back porch. And then Lisa had it in her mind that she was going to make banana bread. I went along because Johnnie loves creating stuff in the kitchen with his mom. And of course he had to be involved in every step of a make-from-scratch banana bread. Which meant it took a lot longer to do than my supposed cheat from the Trader Joe's mix. The bottom line was that when it was done it wasn't done. As in it was soft in the middle. I was hoping Lisa wouldn't blame me because I had to leave so she had to take the banana bread out too early. Hey, by this time it was already 8 PM after all. I had to prep for my week. Finish my laundry you know? She gave me half the banana bread and off I went on home. I really didn't have a lot to do, I just wanted to chill to end my weekend. After all I did play golf and washed 2 cars today didn't I? I'm actually watching Snowpiercer on Sundays and so I watched it again tonight. And followed that up with NOS4A2, that creepy series about a serial killer who kidnaps kids and sends them to Christmas lands as monsters. Creepy premise I know. But it hooked me last summer and I'm probably going to be hooked on it again LOL. In the absence of Walking Dead, what else am I to do?! Anyway at least I got to bed at a decent time today. I'm ready for the week.
So I mentioned I binge watched Netflix until almost 2 AM last night. And so I was in no rush to get to Lisa's house for breakfast this morning. However, I didn't hear from them either and by 8:45 I just headed on over there. Turns out mommy and son were already getting packed and ready for a day at the beach with Sharon, Balwan, and Varsha. And only now were they getting around to breakfast. Works for me! I just waited for my French toast. Johnnie was not in an eating mood... strange that he is like this whenever he is here at Lisa's house. I can't imagine him missing breakfast at mine. I do know he WAS excited to go to the beach today. The original plan was for the visitors to come at 11. By the time we got done with breakfast it was already 10 AM. And by then, the rendezvous time was already moved to closer to noon. And so I figured Johnnie and I would just do shopping for Lisa as we always do on Saturdays. And give her time to play the piano as well. Usually we'd have lunch too but I'm sure they had packed food for that to eat at the beach. Still, off we went to Ralphs for Lisa's fish and then to the apartment where Johnnie was eager to get at least one video in. By then it was already noon. I knew they were going to have lunch and all, but I have to have lunch too. And so I packed up Johnnie after one video and headed to El Pollo Loco to get my lunch. Johnnie had already made me buy him a fried chicken breast for lunch so he was good to go. When we got back to Lisa's house, it turned out that the guests were still a half hour away. Geez, when were they going to get to the beach? I told Lisa I had brought chicken from El Pollo Loco and enough for her too. She too was hungry. And so we ate right then and there. She brought out lavash and tabbouleh and made a wrap with the El Pollo chicken. It was perfect. I had just gotten done when Balwan, Sharon, and Varsha finally got there. I hadn't seen Sharon and Varsha since that Sunday a couple of weeks before we all got sent home. I hadn't seen Balwan in much longer than that. And so it was a bit of a reunion for us and I decided to stay and hang out. At first Johnnie wanted to do the water slide in the backyard. That was after playing in the sandbox with Varsha. And it became clear that perhaps the better idea was to simply stay here. And so Balwan and Sharon brought out their food and quite spontaneously we just had a picnic in Lisa's backyard deck. We hadn't talked to each other all 4 of us in a really long time and so we just talked and talked and talked. It felt like one of those Easter Sundays from years ago when we would hang out like this. And pretty much left Johnnie and Varsha alone to play. It worked out very nicely actually and by the time we unwound and started to move back in the house, it was already 4:30 PM. Balwan wanted to go for a walk. Johnnie didn't want to. That's because it was clear he was tired. And probably a little hungry as well. And so I told Lisa that if she wanted to go walk with them, I'd stay with Johnnie while he slept. As if on cue, he knocked out on the couch before the walkers even left the garage. He really WAS tired. While he slept, and while everyone else walked around the neighborhood, I stuck around and watched Netflix on my phone and did some aerobic steps on the side yard. I did enough to get to 8000 steps in fact. I would easily get to 11,100 tonight even though I really didn't even need to. And when they got back, Balwan and Sharon just picked up their stuff and went on home. And I did as well. Johnnie was still asleep. Tomorrow is father's day and so I told Lisa if they were home for dinner then I'd like to hang out with them and then off I went. I thought to myself today is Summer Solstice Day. Which is officially the first day of summer. Even though it had been overcast all day long. I went home and binge watched the Order until the very last episode. And barbecued myself a nice sirloin steak for dinner. MMmmm. And then I reminded myself that I had a really early tee time tomorrow. 8:10 at Altadena. And I needed to sleep. But it was a nice day hanging out with old friends. And spending time with Johnnie. I was glad for all that.
And so this morning I have to spend first thing at Lisa's to give her a ride to Cedars-Sinai for her every-6-months medical infusion. Something that will take all day to do. Which means I also have Johnnie for the good part of the day. A rarity to be sure. Usually Fridays are really light except that today I have to do that mandatory Performance Evaluation class for Managers. and then at 3 PM the Weekly Huddle meeting. Probably right around the time Lisa will call to get fetched from Cedars-Sinai. But that is for later. This morning of course Johnnie and I had to have the usual breakfast at McDonald's. And I augmented mine with corned beef and even more eggs too. Yumm! And then Johnnie brought this science toy with him that he wanted to play with. It's actually kid-friendly circuit board where you can add a fan, a power source (battery-powered), a switch, a light bulb, and a buzzer. Pretty excellent idea and a cool science toy if you ask me. Even Johnnie says that THIS IS ENGINEERING Dad. To my surprise, Johnnie finished the most difficult configuration in mere minutes. Which tells me he played with this before and that was just fine. I mean the toy IS pretty cool. Before you knew it, it was already time for lunch. I took Johnnie to Whole Foods because I was simply empty when it came to ideas for stuff to feed him. Besides I wanted to get a carnitas burrito. Instead, I ended up getting a Philly steak sandwich for %5. I mean SUCH a deal for a pretty big sandwich. I also bought sushi for Lisa for later. And some soup too. Actually I did want to take a nap after lunch myself and since it IS Friday, I put Peep and chirp in front of Johnnie to keep him busy for at least a half hour. Then and only then did I allow myself time to take a nap. I didn't fall asleep any longer than 10 minutes though. Still I was glad to have any minutes at all! And as soon as I got up I did some aerobic work, right while Johnnie was still watching. Right as I was getting ready to prep for my 3 PM meeting, I finally realized that Lisa had texted me at 2 PM letting me know she'd be out of her session by 3 PM. That would be in 20 minutes. And so I packed up Johnnie and we headed on over to Cedars-sinai. I flashbacked to May in 2018, more than 2 years ago when we picked Lisa up from Cedars-Sinai after the same procedure. We were having serious problems then and I don't have pleasant memories of that day. Today the time picking her up coincided with the 3 PM Friday Daily Huddle call. And I decided I'd do the call even while picking Lisa up. Shouldn't take all that long, it's Friday. Anyway we did pick up Lisa and she looked totally out of it. Funny thing was when she got in the car, I looked back and Johnnie was out of it too. As in he was asleep in the back seat. I posted a pic of mommy and son. By then as expected the Huddle call had finished and it was not only quick, it was uneventful. And so I dropped off Lisa, carried Johnnie upstairs. Lisa was really tired and wanted to go to sleep. I told her I'd be back for breakfast in the morning and off i went on home. I did almost 45 minutes of aerobics just to pile up some steps on my way to 11,100 tonight. Friday work day is over and although I did have stuff to do, I blew them off. I'll get to them on Monday. After all it's Father's Day weekend coming up right? I deserve some ME time. I picked up some KFC chicken and decided to do a reprise of last week's chicken rice hack. It was good then and it was even better tonight. Quick dinner works for me. And then jsut as woon as I got my 11,100 steps done, which was right around 7:30 PM, I retired to my couch and watched Netflix. More like binge-watched because I kept on watching until well past 1 AM. Actually it was almost 2 AM by the time I fell asleep. What was so interesting to watch? Season 2 of the Netflix original series the Order. It's about these college kids who belong to a secret society of black magic practitioners and OBTW some of them are werewolves Of course there is romance involved. I don't know what caught me about Season 1 but i binge watched that as well months ago. Something about all that magic and being able to have more than normal power that attracts me I guess wink wink. Something I continue to work on huh? Anyway I was very much grateful to have a rare Friday with Johnnie and I get to spend more time with him tomorrow...
So the day after Tech Council Meeting is usual a breathe out day. As in I tank some. OK maybe I tank it a lot, especially if it's a day where I had the in-person HIT Roundtable Meeting at CCALAC. I would walk to that meeting, take my time walking back and THEN maybe stop for a cold coffee drink even. Or maybe stop at Macy's. Alas those days are gone for now. First of all we're all working from home. And then Macy's downtown isn't even open. But this morning I actually found myself busy. First my IS Team Meeting at 9 AM. And then a meeting with Greg (Purchasing) and Kennedy who had re-tooled the Approval Center and did it almost exclusively with Flow and PowerApp. I mean he did a pretty good job albeit he did the whole thing behind my back. And that's ok. THAT meeting lasted until almost 11:30. As in it was already lunchtime by the time the meeting finished. And then I had the online CCALAC meeting at noon! I had to dash to McDonald's to get Johnnie chicken nuggets and then to Burger King to get me an Impossible Whopper and a couple of tacos. I mean I had no time to cook something. All this time I kept Johnnie busy with some art stuff, and some music stuff and Weldon Woods books from Bookflix, all the way to 2 PM when my CCALAC meeting finally got done. Wow. I had spent 5 1/2 hours in meetings all morning. I felt bad that I wasn't actually with Johnnie looking over and supervising his work today. And maybe I just have to not be so hard on myself. I'm just doing the best I can. And we don't have any other alternatives anyway. I tried to make it up to him by doing another scooter ride around the neighborhood. At first he said NO, but then he changed his mind. And so for the third day in a row, we were riding around the neighborhood and Johnnie was so confident and happy. And by the time we got home, it was already 5 PM.
So tonight IS hand-off night and Johnnie was well aware of that. But I did manage to get him to eat a hefty spaghetti dinner and pizza too. I had my own leftover bolognese over penne pasta. By 7:15 Lisa called and came by to pick up Johnnie. She reminded me that tomorrow she has the medication infusion appointment she has at Cedars-Sinai every 6 months and that I was her ride there first thing in the morning. I didn't mind of course since Fridays are not all that hectic anyway. Tonight the hand-off was pretty uneventful. No big discussions about how tough Lisa's life is coming back to the regular grind... although she had to point out that she accidentally got hit in the corner of her eye and that it was pretty bruised up. Ok then. Off they went as I said I'd be at Lisa's house before 8 AM in the morning tomorrow to pick mommy and son up. Of course I end up having Johnnie for the day too and that was simply icing on the cake. As in I NEVER see him on a Friday. This was most welcome. I didn't have many more steps to do to get to 11,100 tonight. I had been pretty consistently getting there by 8 PM all week and tonight was no different. I did have some more work to do... those department goals were due yesterday weren't they? Even though the organizational goals weren't even approved and disseminated yet. I did take a shower tonight as I had the last 3 nights... only because I had to get up early to do my errand with Lisa. And because I had started to clean up the apartment as I do when Johnnie is back to Lisa's for the weekend. There was no falling asleep at 9:30 PM though, not when Johnnie isn't around. I went to bed closer to midnight... I did indulge myself with a little TV time. Still, it's Friday tomorrow and I'm already thinking about the weekend...
So today is Tech Council Meeting day but unlike those Wednesdays when I used to work in the office, I was oddly not too concerned about it. Maybe because I had a lot of material to cover today, so much so I don't think I'd be able to cover everything I put together in fact. Or maybe it's the fact that a couple of people aren't even going to be at the meeting, most notably Eloisa, Chad, and Alan. With a couple of chats in fact, Eloisa sort of gave me her walking orders for the meeting already. One was that I was to steer Maryam away from using EPIC for QFHP. The second was that I was supposed to take over all the cybersecurity insurance stuff from Alan. Great. Another administrative stuff I need to add to my list of responsibilities. But hey I didn't think what he did was such a big deal anyway didn't I? Anyway when I used to work in the office I spent the morning of Tech Council Meetings basically augmenting my presentation and making sure I had enough stuff to talk about. Not today. I spent the morning pretty much making sure Johnnie did educational stuff actually. Had him spend time at the Khan Academy website, came up with a couple of exercises on my own, had him do a bunch of sigh word exercises. Look at the video I posted of him even trying to learn Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on a pano app on my iPad. I kept him occupied enough until lunchtime and then I flipped the switch to Tech Council mode. So sure of myself was I that I actually wasted a good 5 minutes doing banter at the beginning. Anyway to make a long meeting story short, I took 59 minutes from my meeting and I had a bunch of takeaways actually. One was that the cloud infrastructure was stable and that the utilization benchmarks looked good. And then I focused on the QFHP EPIC stuff only because Eloisa made a special point to mention it this morning. It really wasn't a good idea but I was trying to get Maryam to realize it with facts. And I allowed her to do some discovery on her own in my anything-is-possible personality. Today though I had to buckle down. Unfortunately her fixation on an EHR for her operations made her focus on different facts, just on whether it can be done, not whether it should be done. But that would be my job wouldn't it? And after today's discussion, getting chimed in from Barbara sealed the deal and that she shouldn't be using it. Too much stuff to do to integrate that operation anyway. And so that was that and then I gave out homework for the rest of my presentation. BYOD policy. Fax numbers that need to get converted to Efax. Lots more stuff for me and my team to do LOL.
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After the meeting was the usual breathe out and shortly after Johnnie and I could be found on our scooters riding around the neighborhood (see picture). He has really started to get confident on this thing. Yesterday he had it in his mind that he wasn't going to fall and he didn't. And today was more of the same and we went farther. We went to Mar Vista Park all the way to Whole Foods and then around the neighborhood again. We must have gone almost 3 miles actually. So much so that Johnnie worked up a sweat and he actually had started to get a little tired. Not tired enough to be his be-bopping self though. Look at the picture of him I took doing acrobatic stuff on a handrail at Panda Express Westwood. Yes it is Panda Express night after all. And we went almost just as soon as we got home from riding around the neighborhood. Today Dad and son had dinner together in the living room and I allowed him to watch Peep and Chirp actually, the cartoon story of a ducks in a pond. Not all that educational I know but very funny. Hey I had to let him watch a couple of hours of videos tonight. He behaved so well while I was doing my meeting, did all his lessons that I put in front of him, even the ones I made up on my own. Actually those took about a half hour of his attention actually and I am for sure going to keep doing those. I did find myself getting a little tired though. As in sleep tired. I didn't actually get a good night's sleep even though I went to bed at midnight. Or maybe BECAUSE I went to bed at midnight. There are still so many things on my mind and it is easy to see what causes the anxiety actually. I see that I have to intentional maintenance work on my thougts just like I would taking a shower to keep my body clean. I am still on auto-pilot way too much. And so it was that tonight Johnnie asked me to take a shower with him and I was happy to oblige. Daddy and son worked up a sweat after all. And i was thinking it would actually help me to go to sleep tonight. It turned out that for the first time in a while, I actually fell asleep before 10 PM. I know this because just as soon as Johnnie handed me the iPad after watching Bert and Ernie, I closed my eyes and I was off. That is very very good.
So while Johnnie slept next to me last night I got on the internet and tried to figure out how to keep him busy for the day today. Without the benefit of a lesson plan from Ms Gee, which I was completely dependent on all of a sudden I was at a loss. And today I had to work on my presentation for tomorrow's Tech Council Meeting too. All the more reason to keep Johnnie occupied for the day. And so as soon as I got up this morning and earlier than Johnnie did, I started looking for websites that offer some kind of instruction and entertainment. It was a given that I was going to have to park him in front of videos all day. I just had to make sure they were the educational kind. And so I tried to make it seem like a normal school day for Johnnie although his summer vacation has already started pretty much. I didn't have any time to check out the online offerings from LAUSD and from STAR but I did find Khan Academy for Kids and I thought simply perusing the sight that it would actually meet what I was looking for. And so right after breakfast, I embarked him on an art learning path from the site. And wouldn't you know that he stayed on that for a good 2 hours. I mean he really likes drawing and art and mixing and matching colors and shapes. And so THAT at least was perfect. In the meantime, with meetings all morning, I hadn't even gotten started with my presentation by lunchtime. I wasn't that worried about it simply because I knew what I wanted to talk about and it was actually ME giving the council some homework to do this time around rather than me having to pull something out of my ass to talk about. So ambivalent was I that I could be found getting myself an El Pollo Loco chicken lunch and churros for Johnnie and then some chicken McNuggets for him at mid day. It took me just a couple of hours to come up with a framework or outline for my presentation and I just had to fill it in and I knew I could do that in a couple of hours.
In the meantime it still IS Tuesday and Johnnie actually looked forward to the afternoon when I promised him we'd go scooter somewhere and let's not forget Italian sausage barbecue night. Cookie night too actually but I already made them last night. I made an extra larger batch and I knew I'd be busy tonight so I got a bit ahead of myself. I started working on my presentation in earnest right after lunch and started filling in details. I had plenty of material which is why I wasn't really so concerned that I wouldn't get it done. I just had it in my mind that I would finish it before I went to bed tonight and I did not mean at 3 AM in the morning either. In the meantime I kept Johnnie busy with e-books from bookflix.net, exercises from Maximo, and math videos from Khan Academy. I kept him so occupied that we actually did not turn on the TV all day. And by 4:15 he was so done that he wanted to go scootering early. How could i turn that face down?! And so it was that he took his scooter, which he is getting pretty confident with actually and I took my electric one and off we went toward Mar Vista Elementary. The yard was empty now but a year ago it would have been full of kids starting summer camp. We didn't have to because Blue Oak had Johnnie until the end of July and so I have a whole 6 weeks to figure out stuff for him to do and learn. Hey I can do this. Even if I'm just winging it this week. And so it was that we had a nice ride and Johnnie had it in his mind that he wasn't going to fall today. And he didn't! And then just as soon as we got home off we went to the barbecue area to make dinner. Armed with his soccer ball, Johnnie played while I barbecued. See the pic I posted of him making up whatever game he could. And then he had a nice italian sausage with spaghetti dinner. Which was the exact same thing I had except that mine was mixed together. He of course ate his sausage and pasta separately LOL. Then and only after dinner did we turn on the TV so he could watch. And I even let him watch Frozen 1. That's to buy me time to work on my TC presentation. In the end I did get it done before I went to bed. And that was almost midnight. Still I felt good about that. I'm ready for tomorrow.
Ahh another Monday, another day of remote work and for me, a nice long hot shower to make up for the 3 I didn't take the last 3 days. I'm honestly ashamed that I can't get myself to be consistent with that, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it either. And so the shower was already a nice start, as was some meditation I got to do on whatever emotionally I needed to pay attention to and release. The key was that I gave in to my lower Self, lower energies for about the past month and now I need to make sure I am focused enough so that doesn't happen again. Especially with the physical stuff. It seemed to have been my weak point all those years ago. Some 20 odd years later, the weakness has come up presumably so I can shore it up and affirm my commitment to connecting more with my Higher Self and higher energies. My face is actually starting to feel like it's coming all the way back and I even took a picture just so I can chronicle the improvement. Back in the day I focused on the physiological reasons, even if my own doctor couldn't pinpoint one for me. Now I'm sure this has come up because of something I need to release or at least something I need to accept. Yes sometimes I am stuck with my lower energies. Those are part of me too. I need to integrate it with my Higher Self and make sure it is NOT in control. I hear it and whatever I need to let go, I will let go. In the meantime, as far as the work stuff goes, I had that Business Continuity Meeting at 10:30 AM which lasted until almost 11:30 and we went around the horn like we used to do at the Communications Meeting back in the day. Less and less new stuff going on it seems. And it seems like I'm not the only one dealing with some physical issue. Anyway it's still just work and today the focus for me was to get started on my pre-Tech Council Meeting activities. First is the Meeting minutes, which I got done in an hour. Really just a matter of sitting down and deciding to do it LOL. I will do my presentation tomorrow. And the good thing about this morning's meeting was that it brought to my attention a couple of things needing to be discussed at the TCM. It's kind of like the Universe handed me a meeting agenda so I didn't need to pull one out of my ass LOL.
Did I mention how much I love walking around my neighborhood on a nice, sunny, pleasant day like today? I love hearing the sound of the wind breezing through the trees and branches. This was during the afternoon around 2:30PM there weren't that many people out as I walked about. At least not as much as before. That was nice too. I kept of this walk as part of my sanity routine and I was happy to get to 4000 steps by the time I got back to the apartment. I actually had an unusually productive day today and not just doing the Tech council Meeting stuff. I actually got to my contracts that are up for review and even got totally caught up on this journal. In other words, I actually am returning to my normal self and by 5 PM I started to think about picking up Johnnie. Unfortunately T-Mobile our work cell carrier had a nationwide outage which affected not just us but a whole lot of people. Lisa would tell me later she couldn't make a phone call which is why she didn't call me about Johnnie. It did cross my mind around 5:30 why she hadn't called yet. i just decided to go on over there and pick him up. Heck it was almost 5;45 already anyway. When I got there mom and son weren't home... but I kept myself from getting irritated. Instead of thinking "this is just Lisa being Lisa and not being aware of my feelings", I thought of the time she lost her keys this last couple of weekends ago while hiking in Pasadena. I wasn't even there so there was no way I could have gotten irritated. Even Johnnie told me all about it. Lisa must have been embarassed. Thinking about that made it ok that sometimes she simply can't help losing track of stuff. That is simply how her brain works. And that's ok. And so with that thought I just hung out the back yard and waited for them. And they came within 5 minutes. How about that! I even helped Johnnie put away his toys so Lisa could have relatively peace for the rest of the evening. And then off we went for the week. Johnnie requested Mcdonald's chicken nuggets for dinner. Kind of a normal Monday right? And we chilled and I just let him watch videos until it was time to go to bed. Back to his happy self he was. And that makes me happy too.
As Monday brings on another new week, my awareness is on the fact that June is fast coming to an end tomorrow, that this is a short week, and that the 4th of July weekend is upon us in a few days - hence the short week. Unfortunately, due to a surge in coronavirus cases, LA County has closed all beaches and banned all fireworks displays. So much for going over to Balwan and Sharon and watching fireworks on top of their apartment. Although there has been some underlying negativity about that I need to purge if I haven't already. Two years ago, Lisa called from Hawaii while I was with Balwan and Sharon watching. 2 weeks later I moved out. Last year would be the last time I can remember really having it out with Lisa and that was because of some stuff going on with her family yet again. So much so, I bugged out of going with them to see Sharon and Balwan and basically just stayed home and watched a movie. Boy when will I ever get to do THAT again huh? <watch a movie I mean> though really I haven't missed anything. Anyway, this being a Monday and all and a morning without Johnnie, I focused on setting my intentions for the day and for the week and I took a nice shower <which I hadn't taken one all weekend>. Made myself some corned beef hash and eggs for breakfast. And just let myself be. The morning meditation was all about keeping my vibration high and watching my own thoughts. And reminding myself that I am still on procrastinate mode and I need to really focus on the outcomes I needed to accomplish within the context of keeping my vibration high. It's funny that things came up that were to-do's that I have basically not gotten to. Getting my taxes done, car registration, driver's license renewal. Oh that. I actually had an appointment at the DMV today. But I cancelled it. I'm not going to a COVID hotspot @ the DMV near USC. Why risk it? Hopefully I won't regret cancelling it. Anyway the only thing on my schedule today was the Monday Business Continuity Meeting and when that was done by 11:30, all I had to do was do some minimal work for the rest of the day.
And so by early evening I decided to do something different. I decided to do a little bit of ME time. I finished my aerobics exercises doing nothing but my own tracks, got to 10,000 steps and when I got there, i went to the spa and just relaxed there for a good 45 minutes. I might not have taken a shower this morning, but after this, I got a shower in anyway. I remember wondering if coronavirus could survive in spa conditions. Very hot water and chemicals? I seriously doubt it. But I did wonder why the building closed it down. Everyone is just being cautious I guess. After all, now the rest of the country is starting to have a surge in cases. Texas. Florida. Arizona. Alabama. Trump country. You feel bad for them but did they not learn from New York and California? Anyway I did the spa thing and then I barbecued the Italian sausage that Johnnie and I didn't eat last Tuesday. Except that it had sat too long and it didn't taste good. What a waste. Still I had plenty of leftovers left to have a decent meal. heck I always have way more food in the fridge than just for me anyway. And then it was on to Netflix night. I was reading somewhere that theaters were really trying to re-open. Why? Experience the big screen? Not enough value actually.. I'm good watching stuff on my own big screen TV which isn't really big screen but I don't give a shit. Tonight I was going to finish off Jessica Jones Season 1. i mean she is a Marvel Superhero and all. And I was thinking I was already in relaxed mode... enough so I can get another pretty good night's sleep. Considering I needed to be at Lisa's really early next morning it was a necessity actually. She is finally back to opening up her Saturdays at her office. And I even made an appointment to get a cleaning myself. But tonight I ended up binge-watching Roswell New Mexico Season 2... already a reboot from Roswell series in the 90s. I don't know what it is with these Sci-Fi series that draws me in actually. By the time I got done it was already almost 2 AM! Oh well, binge watch Friday night I guess. So much for getting a good night's sleep. I guess we're just hoping to get any sleep at all...
You know all these months I've had Johnnie at home in the middle of the week and juggling home-schooling and watching him for the good part of the day, I never really realized that THAT by itself is stressful. I remember what Lisa herself said to me one day... which is that she understands the juggling act between getting work done and also taking care of Johnnie and not really doing all that well in both. This morning maybe I was in a more self-aware state because I saw myself get stressed just trying to make sure Johnnie had something to occupy himself with all day. And that with all the consciousness expansion path I'm trying to stay on, work and Johnnie is still the primary focus of my attention. And everything else is not easy. But I also wouldn't trade time with Johnnie with anything. He MAY push my patience to its limits every single day. But he more than makes up for it when I just hear him giggle and laugh and when he tries to climb up the back of the sofa to stalk me a like a tiger and try to jump on the back of my neck. Yes... he IS playing. And I love that he does that. If there are any enduring moments during this time of coronavirus, most of it is about this time with Johnnie. But it IS different when school was still in session than now. And today, I find myself still trying to figure out how what to do with his time. So this morning art "class" was about drawing Pete the Cat and PE was about more Maximo LOL. Lunch was chicken strips from Carl's Jr...which meant that my lunch was a BEYOND cheeseburger. Hey, anytime I can enjoy a good burger and not actually be eating real meat, it's gotta be good right?
