3rd straight sunday at Altadena

So today I get up early and head out to Altadena golf course for the third straight week. Which means that it has been 3 weeks since the county order that people can't play with others unless they are in the same household. An order that was largely ignored really, but it made getting tee time reservations almost impossible. Hence, we stuck at Altadena simply because it worked the first time 3 weeks ago and at least I've kept it going. No Scott today since he had a procedure to close a hole in his heart. Sounded serious and definitely not the small deal Scott seemed to liken it to when he talked about it a week ago. Still it was supposed to be a warm day today even and so I was NOT going to miss the chance to golf and get some exercise in outdoors. As it turned out, Greg seemed to be the only reliable golfer I can play with these days, what with Scott out and Chris pretty much no longer playing with us except for every once in a while, maybe once a month or so. And that's ok. I didn't focus so much on how to have a good game this morning. All I know is that when I release my attachment to a score or to a shot and just let things flow the way they're supposed to go, to just let go of whatever causing me stress and anxiety, mainly the pressure of hitting a good shot every time, then I seem to do better. There is a balance between focusing and making sure you've got your mechanics lined up, and getting too attached to making the perfect shot. I mean we're not pros here. With that said, all I really cared about was reducing the amount of whiffs and mis-hits I hit, which is probably the wrong approach since that makes me more focused on NOT doing something rather than what I really want to do.  I tried to tell myself that. All the way to the first swing when I flew out of control to the right side. Still, I managed to get on in 4 and of course missed my putt for a 6. I told myself to slow down and just enjoy the game. "Just enjoy the game" I could hear myself. I really wish I listen to myself sometimes. As far as the rest of the game, I was typically inconsistent, but I did have my moments. So for every beautiful shot off the tee like the iron on Hole 8 that landed dead straight not even 15 yards from the hole just before the green, I would pull a tee shot so bad it went way left on Hole 6. I had a great hole on Hole 6, with a nice chip that went a foot from the hole, But I had to rescue myself with a whiff on that same hole. And I putted like crap all day. Still, it did turn out to be a nice day. And I did enjoy playing here for the third straight week, though I am glad I already have reservations elsewhere for next week. 

I did the Crimson lunch followed by a nap thing right when I got home. And did some loads of laundry too. The nap actually took about an hour and a half, which made up for less than 5 hours last night spent watching TV of course. I was back to TRAVELERS after IVANHOE. Usually I'd be up and about on the last weekend before Christmas, but then there are so many things I didn't have to worry anymore because we are on lockdown. Buying presents is not one of them since you can easily get those things online anymore. Then again, I never bought stuff for anybody anyway did I? Man am I some kind of Scrooge or what? I think Lisa mentioned they had their office potluck at her house this past weekend, and that they were going hiking with Balwan today. Me? I'm just chillin' right there on my couch, still working on doing the internal things I need to do in order to get closer to my outcomes. Last night's fiasco with the pizza was a reminder that I am actually manifesting what I don't want and so it is that kind of focus I need to sharpen. As for steps, I didn't need to exercise anymore since I was already at 9000 steps when I got back from golf. I was already well past 78000 steps. I did notice my heart rate spiked back up to 71 today. Nothing of concern except an awareness of what internally is going on that would make it go up a couple of points like that. Was it the thing with the pizza and the irritation I felt? Or something internal going on while I sleep, which makes it even more imperative that I do my internal work to fix that. I didn't need to go out for dinner either. I just made myself some nice linguini with pesto that I got from Trader Joe's. Put more tomatoes in there right from my vine (which does sound cool I must say), and the shrimp I got on sale from Ralphs and voila... A fine, fine dinner it was that I ended up having. There was nothing to watch tonight except some Christmassy stuff and I didn't feel like watching those. And so I just caught up on this journal and went on to bed. It turned out to be a quiet weekend without Johnnie. But then again he's back next week.