Doing Absolutely Nothing

I didn't get to bed until almost 3 AM last night, just watching snippets of movie after movie, almost giddy at how much I was able to replace my VHS/DVD collection overnight finding a treasure trove of digital movies to download. It's like all my favorites from the 80s are now digital and ready for playback at any time. Of course staying up that late means you pay the price the next morning. And that was I didn't even get up until well past 8 AM, didn't really even get going until 9 AM and barely got done with breakfast by 10 AM. Heck, I planned on taking a shower too since I didn't get a chance to take one yesterday but the morning kept going and going and pretty soon it wasn't morning anymore and I wasn't thinking about the shower anymore either. That's how quickly a half-day can get away from you. At least I did manage to do some awareness exercises while I was having a nice cup of hot tea. It was as simple as putting up a YouTube video with binaural beats to get me focused and then enjoying my tea. Hey, at least it felt like I did get something done this morning even if it was just to meditate and center and focus. I tried to tell myself that there is no urgency to do anything today and that if I felt any urgency at all, it was coming from the part of me that was focusing on not-enoughness. That I had to DO something. I think it was coming from the fact that Christmas is now over. Which means that the year is fast coming to a close. This very different year 2020 is finally at an end. And of course by next week I'm going to need to do a review and see how I did with respect to the goals and outcomes I wrote down at the beginning of the year. Do I give myself a pass for 2020? Do I really need one? At this point I'm glad I'm healthy, I'm glad I have a job and a stable source of income, and that in fact, I grew my assets significantly during a time when people are urging the current Administration to sign legislation to give folks $600 to tide them through this pandemic. A lot of people are doing significantly worse and I'm glad I'm not one of those. This as I plunk down $80 for a pair of shoes for Johnnie that I didn't even give a second thought to. This as I realize I have enough in the bank to cover me for an entire year should I need it. Yes, lots to be thankful for. Lots to feel good about. And isn't gratitude the one sure way one can raise their vibration? 

To be fair I did end up getting myself kickstarted into taking a shower, actually shaving and even brushing my teeth. Unfortunately, all that happened at around 5 PM. By then I also managed to get myself kick-started with getting steps in. I was at less than 1000 by 3 PM and I was not willing to tank this day for that. I am not giving up this streak simply because I felt lazy today. I mean I did keep on watching movies this afternoon, because I kept on downloading stuff. One movie I could not find to download was TEQUILA SUNRISE. And so I plunked down $6 to buy the digital copy on Google Movies. I mean how can I not have this in my collection? I had to watch the first half of it too obviously. Funny I thought of my old friend David from the Hacienda Golf Club days. I wonder how he's doing?! He and I would watch this movie and other movies too. Staying Alive. Dangerous Liaisons. We would be able to recite full dialogues from these movies. "Friendship is the only choice you can make in life you can make that's yours!" we would always say to each other LOL. That one came from Tequila Sunrise. That is what these movies do for me actually. Take me back to the past at any time. Take me back to my younger self. Take me away from thinking about this pandemic. And so by 7 PM I did manage to get to 9000 steps and I would finish that off soon thereafter. And I did manage to make myself a spaghetti dinner since I bought all this food on Christmas Eve. Even bought frozen chicken tikka masala from Trader Joe's that I had to eat for lunch now. And I managed to go through the ENTIRE day without leaving my house. Going outside to take the trash out doesn't count. I never left my building. I ended up being like that hermit character in the movie I ended up watching tonight. Midnight Sky with George Clooney. He ended up being one of the last survivors in a dying planet. And ended up sort of hallucinating over a child, his daughter that he never met. The ending of the movie was one of those plot twists that I end up appreciating greatly because it taught me some kind of lesson that I'm sure I was meant to learn.  I mean that's what movies have been all about for me aren't they? In this one, the great grand coincidence is that despite Clooney's character turning his back on humanity in favor of his work, it inspires his own daughter though father and daughter didn't know each other existed.  And she would eventually sort of save humanity. And through hallucinations, she was with him while he was alone after all. You see we are never alone. And that is the biggest lesson of all. Interesting lesson today.