And the Importance of ME time

So this morning I went over to Lisa's by 8 AM. She wasn't ready for me of course but I figured as I always do, that Johnnie and I would be out of her house by 9 AM so she could get on with her usual Saturday morning agenda, concluding with her piano lesson. And this morning I even had a chance to do some meditation to keep myself centered and emotionally balanced throughout the day. I wanted to keep in mind that I need to continually work on my patience and emotion management, particularly after I found myself not doing well with both last Thursday with Johnnie. And this morning I get to spend half the day with him until Lisa is done with her lesson.  It was a good thing that I felt very much at peace this morning with going over to Lisa's because she was in anxiety mode. She felt good that she seemingly has found herself a new maintenance gardener since Eusebio had quit on the job after almost 3 years. Hey he put up with her for THAT long.  And so somehow this morning while helping her make breakfast with the eggs, bacon, and sausage that I bought last night and brought over, she had some snarky comments about me that led to a response that I had always defended her when someone brings up other-than-positive stuff. I actually pointed out that other than her father, everyone in her circle still has positive feelings about me. I don't know why I had to point that out other than I was probably feeling defensive about something. And I actually had to tell her to dial down the negative after a while. This would have easily led to one of our many fights back in the day. Not today. Not when I came emotionally and mentally prepared. And instead, the energy simply dissipated and even got me an apology from Lisa... telling me that she was anxious about the piano tuning session that may or may nor even happen. See? No harm, no foul. And so by 9 AM Johnnie and I WERE out of the house and headed back to my apartment. Johnnie hadn't even showered by this time and so that was the first thing we did today was get him cleaned up and prepped and ready to go. And then off we went to Target Culver City so I could do my paper products run. People are starting to hoard toilet paper and paper towels again, evidenced by shelves that are not as full as they used to be. Fortunately, they weren't empty either. And so it was that we got our shopping done like we used to and we had plenty of time to go home and for Johnnie to watch an episode of Snoopy/Charlie Brown. Hey he needs to know about those old school cartoons too you know

I was plenty happy to keep Johnnie until 2 PM, even when Lisa told me she actually had her piano lesson cancelled because Vatche was experiencing high blood pressure effects. Everyone is anxious I guess. I OTOH am back to a resting heart rate of 68 which means I am not in a state of anxiety anymore. A very good thing.  Anyway Lisa told me that she had asked Balwan and Sharon and Varsha to go hiking today and that they were going to come by at 1:30 PM and so that was the time I needed to have Johnnie back by. It was good to see Sharon and Balwan and I do hope they end up staying here in the US. Which means Balwan has to actually step up and get some income stream in. I think of why I need to have THAT in my awareness... I guess it's some kind of reminder with my own income stream? It's great to go after your dreams, but make sure you handle the money thing first from a mental standpoint. Get rid of your blockages once and for all. That's the message for me that I'm taking back. They actually invited me to come along and go hiking with them. I declined. I wanted to take a nap for the afternoon and then clean up the house. I didn't need too much more social interaction for the weekend. I still get to play golf tomorrow morning after all. I was more focused on getting some time for ME. It was good for Johnnie to get to play with Varsha though (see the pic I posted). Any interaction with kids his age is ALWAYS good. And for Lisa, she gets much more social interaction that she needs too. We all need something. For me, I needed the ME time, which is why I declined to go. And I spend my Saturday afternoon walking around my neighborhood, doing some more cleaning and clearing, and really just allowing myself to do whatever I wanted, even if it's just a whole bunch of NOTHING. I actually watched some of the UCLA football game believe it or not and somehow it doesn't feel like these games are even real considering there is no one in the stands and a whole bunch of players are out. Still, it was good to watch UCLA win. Which brings them over .500 for the first time in Chip Kelly's tenure. Hey that's real enough for me LOL. I also got to do some more frequency meditations, with the hope that in doing it more consistently, I get to critical mass sooner rather than later, which is when the results start showing.  It's all good. I got my alone time this afternoon and I was able to recharge. Perfect.