Universe I Am Thankful For...
Universe I am thankful for enjoying a golf game with my friends, even if I didn't really play well. I still hit some nice shots, made some good putts though, especially the first couple of holes. I am thankful for the IN-N-Out meal I had for lunch. Mmmm. I am thankful for a beautiful nice, breezy, summery, pleasant day out. Which I thoroughly enjoyed when I went out walking my neighborhood. I am thankful that I got to 11,000 steps today even when I didn't need to and made it to 78,000 steps for the week. I am thankful for a chill Sunday, including binge watching and watching Snowpiercer, and the ESPN documentary on Bruce Lee: BE WATER.
And so I spent Sunday morning at Roosevelt Golf Course, with a return to Sunday golf. I didn't really think about how I was going to play today, just that I needed to relax on every hole, every swing. And slow myself down. Easier said than done though. Greg made it out, as did Scott. Chris did his I-had-other-things-to-do thing, probably got out to play yesterday already. Which was ok. As long as I got out I was fine. However, I was already stressed trying to get there, the reason being was that I did not get myself going until 7:45 PM and even without traffic, at BEST it would take a half hour to get there. Always has. And so I am rushing rushing rushing, feeling the stress of dealing with traffic for the first time in a while. I have to remind myself that I control that. And in my heightened, sensitized state towards negative emotions, that became my undoing this morning at the golf course. I could FEEL the stress speeding up my swing. And I never did deal with it all game long. The predictable result was that I played like shit. Oh I did hit a nice first ball off the tee on my very first shot... and then made a long putt from the fridge to tie for the hole with a bogey 5. But that would be my only good hole for the day. I couldn't count how many times I shanked and whiffed from the fairway I was hitting so bad. I made the excuse of my eye being off and maybe that did distract me. But really it was that I simply could not slow myself down. It was a pretty good indicator of how I wasn't handling my own negative emotions at the moment. And a pretty good metaphor on why I am having these physical afflictions now. OF COURSE I am dealing with stress. Anyway I made it through the game, despite the troubling round and went on home, stopping at IN-N-Out on Sunset by Hollywood HS, to console myself with a double double, fries, and a Coke.
I thought about calling Lisa to see if she needed me to watch Johnnie but seriously I was having really bad issues with my right eye on the drive home. So much so that I drove most of the way home with my breathing rag on my right eye. I could at least see better that way and not have to keep rubbing it. And so I figured that if she called, I'd come, if not then I would just continue to chill at home. Maybe it takes just a little bit of a trigger like the traffic this morning to all of a sudden open up an anxiety avalanche. And that is what I am dealing with right here and now. An anxiety avalanche. If that is indeed the case, then I need to spend even more time internally to do LOTS more cleaning and clearing... of my own thoughts. And trying to relax and calm.myself.down. Who knows why all this stuff is seemingly rampaging into the open except that it likely is time to let these patterns go. These patterns that have me impatient and anxious and irritated and angry. All my lower energies. When I look at it this way, then it IS as simple as my higher energies urging me to simply let my lower energies go. And I truly have not done a good job of doing that. I see myself get distracted easily. And THAT ultimately is the work I have to do. Be consistent with my highest vibrations. As I say... easier said than done. And with that I never did get a call from Lisa today and I didn't mind. I just stayed home, did my steps, got past 78000 for the week and just chilled and watched TV. Snowpiercer is the new thing. And tonight there was an ESPN documentary on Bruce Lee called BE WATER. Pretty cool actually. I let myself fall asleep on the couch as I did the last couple of nights. But much earlier this time. It's time to flick the switch for the work week.
And so I spent Sunday morning at Roosevelt Golf Course, with a return to Sunday golf. I didn't really think about how I was going to play today, just that I needed to relax on every hole, every swing. And slow myself down. Easier said than done though. Greg made it out, as did Scott. Chris did his I-had-other-things-to-do thing, probably got out to play yesterday already. Which was ok. As long as I got out I was fine. However, I was already stressed trying to get there, the reason being was that I did not get myself going until 7:45 PM and even without traffic, at BEST it would take a half hour to get there. Always has. And so I am rushing rushing rushing, feeling the stress of dealing with traffic for the first time in a while. I have to remind myself that I control that. And in my heightened, sensitized state towards negative emotions, that became my undoing this morning at the golf course. I could FEEL the stress speeding up my swing. And I never did deal with it all game long. The predictable result was that I played like shit. Oh I did hit a nice first ball off the tee on my very first shot... and then made a long putt from the fridge to tie for the hole with a bogey 5. But that would be my only good hole for the day. I couldn't count how many times I shanked and whiffed from the fairway I was hitting so bad. I made the excuse of my eye being off and maybe that did distract me. But really it was that I simply could not slow myself down. It was a pretty good indicator of how I wasn't handling my own negative emotions at the moment. And a pretty good metaphor on why I am having these physical afflictions now. OF COURSE I am dealing with stress. Anyway I made it through the game, despite the troubling round and went on home, stopping at IN-N-Out on Sunset by Hollywood HS, to console myself with a double double, fries, and a Coke.
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