Reassurance and Feeling More Like Myself
I'd be lying if I said I didn't really care about the doctor's appointment today first thing (8 AM) and that I already know how it is going to turn out. I mean that may be true but there is still a little little voice that is spewing negative thoughts and that maybe something more is afoot other than straight up relatively harmless Bell's Palsy going on with my face. I know I need to deal with all the internal energetic work I need to process as the root cause of all this. But strictly from a physical standpoint it's always good to get a doctor's opinion. Specifically one that also experienced Bells Palsy recently like Dr. Nick has. Anyway that's why I'm here at Forward Health in Century City at 7:55 AM aren't I? To make sure nothing else is wrong from a Western Medical standpoint. and by 8:20, I got my reassurance. Nope, this didn't happen because of a stroke. Nothing in the internal nervous system. Very much the external peripheral facial nerves and that is it. How does he know? Because a stroke couldn't affect the furrows above my eyebrows. Such a simple thing to note that could have eliminated worry from the beginning. Unfortunately there is still no definitive answer as to what brought this on. At least not from a Western medical standpoint. And still no known cure. Again, from a western medical standpoint. But since this is also for Lisa to ingest as much as I, I texted her the results of the visit immediately. It will just come back when it does. Hopefully it does so within the next week or two. Maybe it's the mental aspect but it already started to feel better this morning. As in I was already feeling tingles in my upper and lower lip. Didn't help protect my left ear which I cut attempting to shave but that is another story. And so with that I got to go about my Friday with a lot less worry. Hey, nothing really wrong with me physically right? I still have a lot of energetic work to do in order to address the root emotional cause(s) of this and I will continue to do so. It's just part of the general release of all those negative issues I never really finished dealing with isn't it?
As far as the rest of my Friday, I didn't really want to push myself to work so hard today. I already told my boss I'm dealing with this, which means I've hit some sort of wall and it's ok not to push so hard today. She herself admitted hitting a wall too. so much going on in the outside world. And maybe because of that it is even more important to anchor myself to positive thoughts and higher vibrations on a daily basis. Despite all the negative stuff, there is still quite a lot to be thankful for. Today is payday after all and I did get paid and I now have more than $23K in my primary checking account. That's over and above everything else I've been able to save. Gotta be thankful for that. Gotta be thankful that I got to give myself a nice TANK DAY today which meant going to Trader Joe's right before starting my day even. Make myself a nice eggs and corned beef hash breakfast AS IF I was at the FRB cafeteria LOL. And then just breeze through the day with as little stress possible. I mean answering emails is not stress. By the time the 3 PM Huddle meeting came I even shared my Bells palsy condition with the group, not to seek sympathy but to share information in case people were wondering. I mean Nelson on my team did think I was having a stroke right before everyone at the IS Team Meeting didn't he? I can only imagine what other people were thinking. Anyway Huddle meeting done, weekend begins. And quite spontaneously I decided to get a haircut at Supercuts West LA. Why? Because my hair was starting to grow out weird that's why. They reopened last week. I know I know, it's $30. But I figured I have PLENTY of money anyway, why worry? Why NOT have someone else cut my hair and do it right? I look to it as more of giving myself some more SELF-CARE. And so I got myself a nifty gallifty haircut for the first time since February. Wow. That's 4 months! Anyway the nice haircut made me feel even more like my normal self. And that's a very, very good thing. On the way home I made a stop at KFC. I had it in my mind that for tonight's dinner, I'd try that KFC hack with chicken broth and rice in my rice cooker. See picture. Easiest thing in the world to do and 10 minutes later? VOILA! A nice chicken and rice meal. After that I did also go outside and enjoy a nice, pleasant Friday night walking around my neighborhood and finishing my 11,100+ steps for the day. And then I went home to watch some of the series UNDONE, which was about this girl trying to redo past timelines with the help of her dead father. The only thing was that when you delve back in the past, sometimes, it's not a pleasant thing to see the truth. Another movie REMEMORY with Peter Dinklage also reiterated that. And something I need to keep in mind as I search for answers. sometimes the truth isn't pleasant. And I must be ready to forgive myself for whatever unpleasant truth I might find. And I must reassure myself that it IS Ok. That is what cleaning and clearing is all about isn't it? that is what internal work is all about isn't it. To let those things that need to be let go, be released. THAT is the work isn't it?
As far as the rest of my Friday, I didn't really want to push myself to work so hard today. I already told my boss I'm dealing with this, which means I've hit some sort of wall and it's ok not to push so hard today. She herself admitted hitting a wall too. so much going on in the outside world. And maybe because of that it is even more important to anchor myself to positive thoughts and higher vibrations on a daily basis. Despite all the negative stuff, there is still quite a lot to be thankful for. Today is payday after all and I did get paid and I now have more than $23K in my primary checking account. That's over and above everything else I've been able to save. Gotta be thankful for that. Gotta be thankful that I got to give myself a nice TANK DAY today which meant going to Trader Joe's right before starting my day even. Make myself a nice eggs and corned beef hash breakfast AS IF I was at the FRB cafeteria LOL. And then just breeze through the day with as little stress possible. I mean answering emails is not stress. By the time the 3 PM Huddle meeting came I even shared my Bells palsy condition with the group, not to seek sympathy but to share information in case people were wondering. I mean Nelson on my team did think I was having a stroke right before everyone at the IS Team Meeting didn't he? I can only imagine what other people were thinking. Anyway Huddle meeting done, weekend begins. And quite spontaneously I decided to get a haircut at Supercuts West LA. Why? Because my hair was starting to grow out weird that's why. They reopened last week. I know I know, it's $30. But I figured I have PLENTY of money anyway, why worry? Why NOT have someone else cut my hair and do it right? I look to it as more of giving myself some more SELF-CARE. And so I got myself a nifty gallifty haircut for the first time since February. Wow. That's 4 months! Anyway the nice haircut made me feel even more like my normal self. And that's a very, very good thing. On the way home I made a stop at KFC. I had it in my mind that for tonight's dinner, I'd try that KFC hack with chicken broth and rice in my rice cooker. See picture. Easiest thing in the world to do and 10 minutes later? VOILA! A nice chicken and rice meal. After that I did also go outside and enjoy a nice, pleasant Friday night walking around my neighborhood and finishing my 11,100+ steps for the day. And then I went home to watch some of the series UNDONE, which was about this girl trying to redo past timelines with the help of her dead father. The only thing was that when you delve back in the past, sometimes, it's not a pleasant thing to see the truth. Another movie REMEMORY with Peter Dinklage also reiterated that. And something I need to keep in mind as I search for answers. sometimes the truth isn't pleasant. And I must be ready to forgive myself for whatever unpleasant truth I might find. And I must reassure myself that it IS Ok. That is what cleaning and clearing is all about isn't it? that is what internal work is all about isn't it. To let those things that need to be let go, be released. THAT is the work isn't it?
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