A Busy Feeling Mid-Week

I'm thinking about yesterday's "lessons" with Johnnie and this morning I am at least connected to Higher Self because I have an awareness that those lessons were meant for me as well. I became aware that whatever anxiety I feel in the morning is some program that is on autopilot and those are programs are what I need to let go and replace with more positive programs, even if I have to do it experientally, just like Johnnie did in the pool yesterday. One second he was yelling "Help, Help!!" as if he was drowning all the while he was actually swimming and I was right next to him. It was just that part of him that needed to have control and was afraid of the unknown. Same as my program. And when he figured out that he was totally safe, he was just fine. And that is the lesson... to remember that I am TOTALLY, and COMPLETELY SAFE. And so this morning I spent time with internal work, which is the part where I noticed where the anxiety was coming from. And then I did my image cycling... and realized that I needed to add more images because I needed to allow myself to be selfish. A couple of images missing there. Me playing golf mid-week because I no longer have to work. A dividend check every quarter that works out to $10K a month after taxes. Oh yeah I can live off that. Easily. One thing too came up last night. Johnnie had been sleeping in his own room at Lisa's house, especially when Blue the Gecko joined him in the room. And so last night he wanted to sleep in a different bed. That was fine with me, since I had slept on the couch a few times already, leaving him alone in bed. Sleeping on the couch a few nights a week wouldn't be so bad. Except that Johnnie insisted that I sleep on the bed. And he actually slept on the futon on the side of the bed last night. I made it so he was at least comfortable and judging from the heavy breathing I think he was just fine actually. Now I'm going to have to buy him a real bed or something to sleep on. And while I was mulling over my wants and desires for image cycling, I definitely had to make sure there was an image in there where I am living in a 2-bedroom apartment or condo. Johnnie gets his own room then too. These were the things that I thought of all day. And of course there was work too. And today, there was also a tug from Eloisa my boss... something about making sure Chad our COO wasn't having to do to much in terms of being on tasks and projects and she asked for my help to make sure that happened. She was asking me to help her backstop. But why? She told me that he's under pressure to increase the number of visits. Ahh those visits. Goes to show a win like the telehealth implementation from a few months back does not last that long. And I was thinking about my own job at that point. Nothing like someone on the senior management team being under scrutiny that makes one have feelings of insecurity about their own job. Of course as far as I'm concerned, all I can do is to keep working to provide massive value right? Today that meant being engaged with the Compliance Committee. I thought it was Tech Council Meeting week, but that's next week. And of course a status meeting with Eloisa is always bound to make me edgy. But then again it's still all just a lesson in making sure I keep my vibration as high as possible isn't it? To keep worry and anxiety at bay. I remind myself that my focus is right where it should be, which is making sure Johnnie gets through his class workload in the morning. Today he had art and he was making an orange cat with paper and scissors. And he kept up with the artwork through the day and even again tonight. Look at him in the pic go to work with water colors. My budding little Monet. I think it's pretty good actually. For 6 years old anyway. I mean he's not a prodigy or anything like that. But I'm trying to help cultivate his creative side, which was never done for me. And also in the spirit of keeping to routine, of course we had to go to Panda Express to pick up dinner didn't we? He was bragging to Ednah about his necklace that he made for himself. Third time he had talked about it all week. That's tapping into his creative side too right? Anyway all that to remind myself about what's really most important in my life isn't it? That would be my Little bug of course. All that stuff about work, all that anxiety, all that worry? That's all for nothing. Because as long as Johnnie is happy and engaged in his classes it is ALL good. Even while he is sleeping in the futon next to my bed for the second night in a row LOL.