Watching My State, Teaching Johnnie

Today being Tuesday it was back to Johnnie classroom mode. Too bad I forgot about where his first class was supposed to be, hence we missed it entirely. Fortunately, it was just for Library and getting books read. So I don't think Johnnie was missed. AND we made it to his Social Studies class at 9:30 anyway. But really today was some parts about me. Somehow I got a sense that I was back to reactive mode, which means that I've been giving in to negative thoughts. I got a sense of this because I wanted to explore what it was that was giving me feelings of anxiety in the morning. Some of it was about work to be sure, which was why I did affirmations on providing massive value yesterday. But I think that some of it is also just thoughts trying to fill a vacuum. In other words, with the absence of something positive, the negative sometimes wins out. And so I wanted to be sure to watch my state today and to focus on trying to keep in a high vibration as much as possible. Not very easy considering that half the time when I am in Johnnie class mode, I find myself reacting and basically trying to control what Johnnie does instead of simply letting him learn on his own and in his own time. The child is in kindergarten for God's sake. And he is bright, and engaged, and willing to be curious. Who cares what people think in the here and now. I need to be sure his creativity, his sense of wonderment, his curiosity and his problem-solving skills are cultivated. There is absolutely no need to lose patience, and definitely when he makes mistakes. He simply needs to learn the right way and fix his mistakes. Already he is prone to his mom's tendency for perfection and dramatics. "It's a disaster!" is a common comment coming out of him when he makes mistakes. And I'm sure my disapproving looks can't possibly help.  Which is what made his swimming lesson today all the more important.

So Stacy forgot to bring his goggles with her and right from the get-go this made Johnnie very uncomfortable. He did not want to go underwater and when he brought his head up, he would immediately forcefully try to wipe the water from his face. So much so his face started to turn red from being scratched inside of 5 minutes. And we had to talk to him every single time to not wipe his face. It was clearly bothering him. And so he didn't have a very good lesson at all. It seemed like he reverted back to his old, very fearful self. I think I underestimated his very strong fear of not being able to see underwater. After 45 minutes I had had enough of watching him almost cry every time he did a stroke. And so we stopped today's lesson 5 minutes early but really just so he could get going with his computer class. But I had every intention of coming right back to the pool to fix this. Which was exactly what we did. But first I had to remind myself that i am a loving parent and that I have the best interests of my child and such interests do not include terrorizing him. I need to find a way to make him feel like he is safe. And so after his computer class, we went to the small pool in my building. yep, the small spa. It was only about 3 feet deep. Not deep at all, but deep enough where I could get him to practice being underwater and trying to look around with his eyes open. Besides, the water was warm and so he would not be able to complain about being cold, even though it was almost 90 degrees hot in mid-afternoon. I posted the video of me tossing an object in the pool and making him find it. That's the thing... I needed to make it a game. That's how Johnnie engages and learns. And you know what? After a couple of times I actually got him to feel comfortable doing that. Enough to get him to do the backstroke too and get the motion of pushing off and easing into the water like it was a mattress. After about 20 minutes, we went back to the big pool in the next building. The result? I posted the video above. He did the backstroke fairly effortlessly in the deepest part of the pool, all the way across and without me even being in the water. I'd say we managed to overcome today's uneven lesson. And he didn't have goggle the whole time. I patted myself on the back too. I was patient, I didn't raise my voice once and was a reassuring parent. THAT is how we do it. That is what I will remember about today.