Last Work Day of the Week

Ahh it's Wednesday and for most people, it's Hump Day. But for me, it IS the last day of the work week. The FINISH LINE since I get the next couple of days off. But I'm not off yet and this morning, I woke up DETERMINED not to let negative energies undermine how I deal with Johnnie today. And so we started the day with the usual breakfast and then both Dad and Johnnie hunkered down in front of Zoom. Kind of the new normal such as it were isn't it? Johnnie doing his Kindergarten class meeting and then Art class after that, me doing a webinar on Office 365 security. Just another work day for dad and son :) His session was far more interesting, mainly because he got to work with watercolors for the first time. And he got REALLY into it. Always a good thing when you see your child learning and creating something, even his interpretation of water lillies. His painting may not be like Monet, but who's to say really? LOL. My favorite thing about today really was that I held on to my energy keys. What does that mean? That meant being aware when I let negative energy sneak in, to be aware of where does energies were coming from, and to remind myself that it has nothing to do with what is really happening in the moment. In other words, nothing bad is really happening, but it is my ego mind that is creating something based on the feelings I allow. Yesterday I really did a poor job of managing my emotions, particularly with regards to dealing with Johnnie. My CONTROL FREAK self took over, and somehow the caring dad wasn't so caring for pretty much the majority of the day. Which is what was disappointing to me. I was disappointed in myself and I wanted to make sure that control freak wasn't the dominant dog today. I fed that dog I know that now and so today I made sure to feed the other one instead. The CARING DAD one. And for at least through the morning, that guy was present. And it felt good. It felt good helping Johnnie with his art work and making sure he knew he did a good job. It felt good going to the store to pick up chicken noodle soup for his lunch and then eating the chicken so he would have nothing but noodles left LOL. And he lapped it up too. And then it felt good making myself my turkey wrap for MY lunch.

All that "feel-good" lingered through most of the day actually. And maybe a lot of it was what I wasn't looking at and focusing on. I didn't focus on the Lakers loss to the Nuggets last night even though I acknowledge I am still emotionally invested in the outcome. I didn't focus on what was going on with Covid 19 and staying at home. How can I when I have to get Johnnie through his learning regimen and didn't actually finish that until it was already almost 2 PM?! I didn't focus on anything going on politically. I focused on finding M&Ms with Johnnie... Magic Moments. He wanted to go biking in the afternoon, but because I had to do my 3 PM Weekly Huddle with my team, settled on watching Jurassic World, Camp Cretaceous. He had already watched it once of course and I thought it scared him pretty good. I mean those dinosaurs were scary for sure. But I guess he got over it and now he wanted to watch it again. I was only all too happy to give him something to occupy him until I got done with my meeting. And that meeting went by fast actually, and concluded with everyone wishing me a good vacation for the next couple of days. I thought about this time of year in years past. 2014... DDStrykers had just won it's first ever Sunday League championship. Seems so long ago. And a great example of how I throw myself in into projects other than my own. 2016... the Sylvia and Konan visit the very first month we moved into Maplewood. These days seem very VERY quiet compared to those. One can say even boring. Heck we even spent some time catching up on that LAUSD computer class we missed yesterday. He caught on pretty quickly though in terms of using the tool to create characters and motions, sort of like programming a video game. My son the programmer. I like the sound of that.  And I wouldn't trade that picture of me and Johnnie just hanging out watching Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous together for anything. Because maybe, just maybe, that had been the key to sustaining positive energy all along. No distractions, just gratitude. Hard to sustain when I had Lisa who was a walking distraction magnet in my life every day. These days is a much different time. And one that has me more rooted in my own inner peace. I still have a lot to learn and clear, yesterday has shown me that.  It wasn't just Lisa. It was also ME for sure. But at least I know what to do. And it is ALL on me.