Back to Square One?

Did I just regress after today's golf game? I felt so good about my golf game from last week that I thought perhaps this weekend, I could incrementally get better. I think I found my game with my irons last week. But I just missed with my putts. Maybe I'll do better with that this week. I visualized some yesterday, ran through all the holes at Altadena. I should have known though that I was absolutely not in alignment on my very first swing on the very first hole. Instead of going straight like I wanted, it went to the right. Which meant that I needed to make an adjustment right off. And still I was on track for a par putt. But I missed a gimme putt that led to a 6. That sank my energy right there, and I never really did recover. Well, at least I had a mammoth drive on the next hole from the tee. But then 2 whiffs later, I'm on my way to another 6. On the 3rd hole, I hit a nice 6-iron on the fairway to get to pin-high from the rough after 2 shots. But I whiffed on the shot to get to the green, and missed a hole-tying putt. Sigh. And then on the long hole, I hit a tree on the first shot and never recovered either. I could not hit a long fairway drive which used to be my trademark. Those 160 footers I used to hit with my 5-iron has somehow disappeared. All these reminders about getting relaxed, slowing down my swing, focusing on the ball contact seemed to have left me in the heat. I had maybe one good shot on each hole but with each good shot I also had a couple of whiffs. I NEED TO MINIMIZE THESE DAMN WHIFFS AND FOCUS ON THE BALL CONTACT!! I did manage to win Hole 6 outright with a 4 when everyone hells shot badly. Even my favorite Hole 7 I couldn't hit it straight. I did hit a nice 5-iron 150 yards and on the left rough, which means I can actually hit it that far. I just needed to adjust my feet which I didn't. And although I got it on the green on the next shot, I missed the putt again hitting it way long for a 3-putt. My putting, it seemed had not improved from last week. And then I had another 3 whiffs on the last hole, ensuring a disappointing finish. Sigh. It appeared that I played badly but mainly I just needed to up my focus a bit. I whiff because I rush. I rush because I don't focus. I needed to adjust and learn to wait to unleash until I can "feel" my shot is ready. I need to learn to relax RIGHT BEFORE THE SHOT. Oh well, at least I won a couple of holes. And I get to try again next week. Sigh. One step forward, one step back.

Boing back to square one it turns out wasn't just about golf. I ran into a video by Garret Gunderson about finances which was sort of a more spiritual bent but with strong practicality of Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad Poor Dad message. And that along with the other video on Procrastination (see posted) sort of got me going this afternoon. It made me ask questions:

What are some of the things that I have been putting off that would actually give me the highest impact in my financial life and to further my purpose? If I already realize that my Higher Purpose is to help people, do more lightworker stuff, help people evolve, then how can I set myself up to get that message out? Website? Instagram? How can I be one of those influencers that help others? Youtube site? What about all that money sitting in my Etrade account pretty much doing nothing? How can I put it to work? How can i create velocity to increase cash flow? Buy a business? What? How can I create other revenue streams? Do I still learn about the stock market? 

First I had to clear my mind. I had to declutter. And so I cleaned the kitchen and the living room. The mere act of putting stuff away seemed to do wonders for my soul. Made me feel pretty good actually. And then when I :mopped: up the living room floor I felt even better. And so I ended up doing multitasking... cleaning, and writing in the journal, making dinner which was beef stew. Which also gave me a chance to try the new SaveSealer gadget that sucks up air in a special bag. Hopefully we'll see if my beef stew retains the taste in a few days. And I finished up the few remaining steps I needed to do to get to 78000 for the week. I only needed to get to 10,000 today. THAT is considered a rest day LOL. I will continue to focus on the other stuff that I am now being nudged to remember.  I get to those and then don't focus enough and let the grit and grind of the everyday distract me. Kind of like my golf game. I need to relax and focus more on the shot I want and let that shot come to me. Same in my inner work. Let the outcome come to me. Let the focus do the work to lead me to the next step. What I did NOT do tonight was to work on those CTF applications that I said I'd get done last Friday. Oh well I get to do them tomorrow I guess. Not going to do them tonight. It's still the weekend. I'm not burning myself out for those things... 'still with Johnnie day yesterday and still getting to play golf this morning, it was still a pretty good weekend considering. And also considering all the timemarkers, I made it through just fine.