Nervous Energy

I had a late night last night, not really as bad as some of my Netflix binge weekends but I felt really tired waking up. So much so I blew off an 8:30 All Staff Meeting. It was supposed to be an abbreviated one so I knew it wouldn't last that long. From all accounts it lasted a whole 8 MINUTES long. Man, why waste time if it's going to last 8 damn minutes? Can you actually convey something effectively in that short a period of time? Oh well, at least I think my decision to skip this Zoom meeting was a good one. As it was I had a lot of nervous energy today and I knew it was centered around the meeting with AT&T later. Somehow there was a part of me that equated a really good outcome with that meeting to the job I'm doing. Which means I had once again slipped into ego-based thinking. Or maybe it was a part of me that was very critical of the job I did with this particular vendor and this particular account. I let it slide and even though it was during the timeframe that Justin left, it still was no excuse and I should have stayed on top of it better. But I didn't and now I have to clean up the mess. All I need to do is focus on the best possible outcome and intend to do the best I can. But somehow there was something in my ear that was buzzing about how I was afraid that I would get exposed that I had done a shitty job. Man the ego is really hanging on to that isn't it? Anyway I wasn't the only one with a lot of energy. Of course Johnnie and is seemingly infinite rewards needed to have some kind of outlet. And so I had to figure out little activities for him to do in order to get him to burn some of that energy. Somehow drawing class was not going to do it LOL. And so I got him to do some "P.E." classes. Stuff on the web that got him to move his body. Look at the gif I posted of him trying to follow along. He was barely tired after about 5 minutes of doing that. Something tells me I had better keep myself in shape just so I could keep up. Already when he races me to the elevator or the car, I actually have to turn on my own jets just to make up ground. Which means he actually does open up a lead now. Wait until he really gets bigger and faster?! And so on to the meeting... The outcome I wanted was to get the entire amount forgive. That would be upwards of $147,000. How it got that big is somewhat of a mistake though. Could they have fucked up that badly? Well, it's AT&T. And they already credited us for upwards of $5K for a mistake on the new contract. I wanted someone to thread through all that happened which is something the guy in charge of it now <Andy> seemed to be incapable of doing. And so a new guy was brought in and he at least seemed to know what he was talking about. There would be no resolution today but he needed to know specific dates so he could follow up. How AT&T is not aware of even those things is beyond me. But he said he'd get back to us by next week and that was good enough for me. That's one more week of me thinking about this thing... which is probably a lesson that I need to do what I can so as NOT to think about this thing. And to realize that's my ego trying to take some kind of control, pushing some kind of negative outcome to stay at the lower vibration. In the meantime, just waiting for the meeting I had cleaned up the fish bowl <which I had putting off for a while>, I put a load of laundry in AND I managed to help Johnnie burn off energy with my own aerobics routine. See? Nervous energy. After the meeting it was back to the usual Wednesday. The Midweek Huddle came right after so really I ended up having back-to-back meetings and I managed to sandwich a performance evaluation out of it too. I want that to get done by tomorrow. Only after all that did I look up and notice it was already 4 PM. It's Wednesday so it's Panda Express night and of course I had to interrupt Johnnie's new interest in Giganto the latest kid's videos I have him hooked on. At least he's drawing stuff as he goes along too, seemingly eager to collect stuff to give to his mom. Anyway Panda Express pickup was uneneventful and we actually ate together in the living room... while he watched Gigantosaurus. And then afterwards, I had him back to the Octonauts. Yeah, yeah that's a lot of videos. But I also got him to do a whole bunch of math and reading games at education.com to keep him sharp. And did my own lessons with him with capital letters. And if you look at the pictures I posted, it's not like he was sitting at home not moving around. He was actually pretty active all day long. The videos are merely a reward just as we had done from early on when he started to write and do lessons. Now it's a given. Tonight I gave him the option of not taking a shower before going to bed. Sort of another reward. Besides, it's summer. We can take a shower in the morning he and I. And I can make up for last night's lost sleep. After all, I was already nodding off after dinner. I didn't think I had the energy to give him a shower. Great... now I turned into Lisa...