And so now it's Tuesday and I find myself full-on juggling between trying to get shit done for work and another week of trying to keep Johnnie occupied. I let him sleep past 7:30 this morning so he could catch up on the sleep he lost the night before. I could still hear Lisa's own words: "sometimes I feel like I'm a terrible mother"... almost seeing her own mom Vicky in her when she says these things. Inside I would respond with "do something about it. Do better". But then again I realize I have my own shortcomings to get over. It's not like I'm always the best person with Johnnie. But I maintain that I am trying to be and will always try to be the best dad. That means I need to overcome my own impatience with him that seems to come up again and again. This suggests that my impatience is actually directed...towards ME! Good thing is that I am starting to recognize it faster. Not so good is that it isn't fast enough. And so while I focus on trying to get my Tech Council presentation for tomorrow done, I'm also trying to do a semblance of lesson planning for Johnnie so he doesn't end up watching videos all day long. And today, this morning I had him doing first grade level math and reading with me right there on the couch. Such a Nazi I can be at times huh? All Johnnie wants to do is play all day long and who can blame him? It IS summer after all and already the middle of July. Fall classes start in about a month from today and we already got the news from LAUSD that there will be no in-school classes. Everything will be online. And so I need to get my act together still. I did push Johnnie pretty hard this morning though. In a blink of an eye it was already lunchtime and I hadn't even started doing my own work still. No more of a reminder than my own email to Eloisa and Barbara documenting how busy I am this week and so I won't be getting to that damned CTF application that seems to be bugging Barbara in particular because she keeps getting emails about it. How do I politely and respectfully say in the big scheme of things that one thing matters very little. At least not enough to drum up urgency today. I have other things in front of that to be sure. Oh well, after lunch I finally did start to do my presentation and I kept Johnnie busy with some Weldon Woods books. I did my work, he did a couple of hours worth of videos and then when I looked up I realized that I was barely at 2200 steps and it was already 4 PM. Fortunately Johnnie didn't feel like riding his scooter today. He's probably still tired from last the day before. And I tried to at least keep up a semblance of routine by barbecuing Italian sausage for dinner. That plus some penne pasta ought to be enough for him. I did that while he watched his Octonauts too and so I managed to make up a bulk of the steps I needed to log for today. As in I walked the equivalent of 2 miles just barbecuing the sausage. That's gotta be some kind of video that could help someone right? How to walk 2 miles while barbecuing.
And so I prepped Johnnie for dinner and was trying to find more videos for him to watch so I could focus on doing my presentation. I was only about halfway done at this point and I was starting to feel anxious. I did NOT want to stay up until 3 in the morning doing this. And then for some reason, while Johnnie was eating his dinner he went to the couch and started to complain that his head hurt. I knew it couldn't have been hitting his head against something. Was it because I crammed so much stuff, so much stimuli in front of him today? I don't know but it got worse when I tried to put ice on the top of his head. I asked him if he wanted to take a nap but he said he wasn't tired. Finally he started to cry it bothered him so much. And so my dad instincts kicked in and I got him prepped to go with me to Rite Aid so we could pick up some kid's tylenol or something. But he really was crying at this point and it made me nervous. There's nothing worse for a parent than to see his/her child hurting. Instead of going to the store I held him on the benches right outside of my apartment in the little alcove area. And I started to rub his head softly, almost caressing his hair really. I got him to close his eyes and within 5 minutes he had fallen asleep. Whew. I took him inside and laid him on the bed. It was just 6:30 PM at this time but he had already eaten something and so if he ended sleeping until tomorrow morning, that would be ok by me. And so he slept and slept and I actually got freed up to do my presentation. And I finished my steps as well. How about that? I got my work done and Johnnie got to rest. I kept checking on him periodically and at least he was breathing deeply. By 11:30 I finished my presentation finally. YAY!!! And by then he had stirred enough to wake up a bit. By that time I was ready for bed and I just climbed on to the bed next to him and got him to go back to sleep. It turned out to be quiet Tuesday night. That works for me!
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