A New Month

And so just as yesterday early in the morning I got into some nice meditation, I tried to repeat it today. After all, repetition is the mother of skill right? This morning I kept the focus on how my negative thoughts are nothing more than software programs in my mind that I can easily do an ALT-CTRL-DEL to end the task, just as I would on my computer. And so I kept up with the meditation space for a little longer than usual, although at this time I don't really know what usual is. I happened to come up on a video that was basically focused on a negative belief called "I have to be right". And wouldn't you know that's one of the beliefs I have always identified about myself and that I actually want to change. There ARE many layers behind that belief and the awareness that it is just a surface belief helps me dig deeper so I can get it replaced once and for all. The cool thing was that I was working on releasing and then cleaning and clearing on that belief, I happened to glance at my Fitbit and noticed that my resting heart rate had dropped all the way to 66. At mid-morning. 2 pts lower than yesterday, 3 pts lower than 3 days ago. I thought that was pretty good actually. So much so I rewarded myself with a walk around the neighborhood just to take in the nice, beautiful Friday morning. Usually I'd be tanking it in the office. Why not tank it at home?! I only have the 1 PM meeting with the HIT Roundtable, and then the Friday afternoon huddle before the weekend kicks off. It did not take long before my energy of peace and harmony would get tested. Or rather my resolve to keep to my mental diet. I get a call from Lisa. She was at her office. It was an SOS call. I guess she was not feeling well and she said something about this illness not being viral but may be MS-related. Anyway she was calling to see if I could watch Johnnie for the rest of the day. I was only all too happy to do that of course.  And so never mind my reactions about Lisa and her condition(s), I readied myself to look after Johnnie for the afternoon. I did a nice, upbeat walk right before lunch. So much so that I got to 7500 steps already and I hadn't even made lunch yet. I made myself some Bolognese to go along with some spaghetti and then did my 1 PM call. I thought Johnnie would have been dropped off by then but no word from Lisa. And then The 1 PM call rode into the 2 PM FRB monthly birthday thing. it was good to see the FRB staff again, and to hear their voices. And to see the guys as unkempt with their hair as they were. We played a couple of games, I won another couple of points, and then it was off to the 3 PM Huddle meeting. It seemed like the meeting had the energy of disappointment, specifically regarding seeing patients at our new Westlake North location that we're officially opening on Monday. Emma was disappointed over something, Cynthia was disappointed over Medicare payments, on and on. As for me I didn't chime in much. I noticed I too let my own ego sort of be its bullying self at the 1 PM meeting, coming down hard on San Kim who was his usual self talking with absolutely no direction whatsoever. I couldn't stand it so I sort of slapped him down a bit. My ego. Such a distance from this morning's peaceful start. And another reminder that I have to watch my thoughts almost all the time. By the time the huddle was done, I merely wanted to distance myself from the negativity. Especially my own. By this time I still hadn't heard from Lisa and so I reached out, asking if she had changed her mind about dropping Johnnie off. Well of course she did, as he seemed to be doing better after having lunch at Panda Express.  Lisa said she would just continue to watch him and that they would be ok. She had talked about dinner too but I guess that too was not the plan anymore either. Which was ok. I went to Trader Joe's and did my grocery round. And then to Ralphs to finish that off. I had bought some brioche bread too and so I sort of forced myself to eat my own tuna, making myself a couple of tuna sandwiches for dinner. And so it was that the first day of May turned out to be a beautiful day, with a very promising start. But that this start got derailed when I lost my focus.  But hey, it's like working out right? You work and work and practice and practice until you build consistency. After all, I may be doing 11,000 steps pretty routinely now. But I do remember not too long ago when I could barely do 10,000. And now it would be a rarity not to average 11,100 steps a week. And I've been doing that for more than a year now. I can't wait until I get my manifesting practice up to the same level of consistency. In the meantime, it is LEARN and PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.