Feeling Tired Friday

I don't know why I ended the day feeling tired. It wasn't like a whole lot of stuff went on today. Quite the opposite really. An anticipated 8 AM meeting sort of evaporated and so the big activity this morning was what to get for breakfast and when I was going to get out and do some exercise. I will point out at this time that I had been doing pretty well getting at least 30 minutes of cardio in every single day for more than a couple of weeks now and that is on top of the 11,000 steps and at least 40 active minutes per day. In other words, I think I'm doing well in maintenance mode cardio-wise. It would be easy enough to let that go when you're working from home, but then again, the opposite is also true isn't it? You can always go for a walk any time and bring your phone with you. Which is what I did today around lunch time. Never mind that I did not actually follow the prescribed routine and get a shower in this morning. Never mind that I actually wolfed down a breakfast. I did manage to do some internal work, doing an Aaron Doughty video on getting to your highest vibration. I focused on doing that today, making sure I am at my highest vibration always. It should be a little easier without Johnnie in the house and I can more easily monitor what I am thinking and feeling all day. I noticed it was a gorgeous spring day out, perfect to do a run mid-day. And I went past Mar Vista Park and ran in the shade on McLaughlin. And took pictures of the signs on houses and stuff with the intention of posting same on FB. That's my ego-self obviously trying to push back against all the negativity and conspiracy stuff that is muddying up everything in Facebook. I made it to 30 minutes of peak and cardio activity and almost 5000 steps before making it back to the vicinity of my apartment. And then for some reason, I almost choked on my own face covering. I think i might have pushed the envelope a little too hard this morning as a couple of turkey burritos might have appeased my hunger but I sure felt tired afterwards. No matter. I figured I'd just take a nap instead of attending that HIT COVID meeting where I end up crowing and sort of showing off anyway. I thought I was trying to lead. Turns out other health centers may not need it so much. Anyway I not only did not attend the HIT meeting, I did not take a nap either. Well that sucks. I did not feel especially productive today either. Although I did have a conversation with Rorie, our Spectrum rep and talking about what we've done so far has me feeling a little more accomplished anyway. All ego mind you. All ego.

More importantly though I started to feel tired after lunch. I know I didn't exactly work all that hard today but you know there is still the wear and tear of the daily grind. Especially do I realize that after the meditation session this morning. If my job is to become more and more aware of the programs that are on auto-pilot playing around me and through me then maybe that is why I am feeling tired. Yes I can neutralize those but it takes a lot of effort and on a moment-by-moment basis too. By the time the afternoon Friday Huddle came around I was ready to go. And fortunately we didn't really spend a whole lot of time in the meeting. The Friday routine is to bust out just as soon as that meeting is over and head on over to Trader Joe's to beat the Friday afternoon line. Which I didn't beat today. Unfortunately the one thing I looked for they ran out of... which is the French brioche bread. I guess there will be no French toast for Johnnie and mom tomorrow morning and I texted her to let her know. I did not get going with my walk until the very very end of the day although it was still light out. Like I said I did not feel like exerting myself after the run at mid-day. Still I scanned the work week and realized that it was another fairly chill week. As most everyone at the Huddle had said... nothing new today. There was the timemarker that is the USC commencement that had gone on, only in a sense that it marked the start of the summer for the USC community. The official start happens in a couple of weeks for Memorial Day. How many times back in the day did I leave for Maui right after the USC Dental School graduation?! Or braving the traffic when i worked on campus to try to sneak some free food from the many many festivities going on all over campus. Or a couple of years ago when I took Johnnie to the Cali Science Museum, oblivious that graduation was going on the same day. Last year I didn't even notice...almost let the day go by actually until I was walking around DTLA and saw folks in USC graduation garb. I was knee-deep working out divorce papers this time last year LOL. Can't believe it hasn't been a year yet we're official. Feels like forever. Although I do realize having the emotional proximity to Lisa probably cost me a chance at an opportunity at a relationship with Jodi. I will keep that in mind. And so I mull these things over while I do my walk and it is a pleasant Friday evening out.  And the weekend is coming up. All is well.