A New Pain and An Old Pain

And so I woke up this morning to a relatively new sound... that of raindrops outside and I look outside to see that it had been raining this morning. It was not unwelcome and that much of a surprise considering the string of beautiful days we've had for a month. Which is probably why I chose to post the pic of an empty downtown LA with ominous rain clouds over it right about the same time I was looking outside from my bedroom. That I woke up past 8 AM is very notable because I had a TERRIBLE time getting to sleep last night. My legs were so sore I couldn't sleep! That by itself is odder than odd. I had no temperature so I didn't think it was muscle aches from the flu. No respiratory symptoms either. Whatever it was, it wasn't coronavirus. But it could very well be some bug. OR it could very well be my body detoxing in a major way, purging emotional crap. It took elevating my legs and sleeping on a different side of the bed before I was finally able to go to sleep last night. And although my sleep logs say I did get 6+ hours of sleep, it was not a good 6+ hours. Maybe I needed to give my legs a rest... was that it? How long does emotional detoxing last? How can I be sure I'm not sick? These are the distracted thoughts that waifed through my mind this morning and if anything I was even more sure my vibration was getting pulled lower by something fighting my own desire to get to higher levels of vibration. Trying to find peace ensures I keep looking for it because it isn't there. Of course.. pull out the "afraid-of-death" card. Needless to say I struggled through my routine through the morning. Breakfast was late, I barely got a shower in... but I did manage to make it through the morning Huddle and then I still managed to get a whole bunch of steps in through the mid-afternoon. And I made my ground lamb tajine casserole for lunch too. I didn't really think I got untracked all day. And maybe also because it was raining all morning... that was a surprise. I was only able to get out and get a walk in because it stopped raining. And when the sun came out in the afternoon it was all good again. Except my legs which were still sore and achy.

And so right when I thought the energy of the day had turned I get a call from Lisa around 5 PM. She was supposed to drop Johnnie off for the week because she was going in to her office today. But then again that wasn't any different than any old Monday. But here she is once again whining about how tough she's had it today trying to get ready to open her practice. One minute she's bugging about not being open, now she's bugging about having to open. I swore is there anything she isn't bugging about? And then she had to tell me she never got to any of Johnnie's lessons today. Why wasn't I surprised? She simply doesn't focus on it.  Or at least she can't focus on that and her practice at the same time. And then she asked me to pick up Johnnie. Damn man. that's when I snapped back that I had a full time job too when she kept talking about how she was overwhelmed. I should have been more sympathetic, but damn that shit gets old you know?! She didn't like the tone in my voice. She hung up the phone on me. gee what else is new...  So I just rushed on over there and picked up Johnnie. Gee... just when I was starting to feel good about the day.  It's ok. Time for Johnnie to be with me for the week anyway.  We didn't do any lessons tonight. I figured I'd double up on all of it tomorrow. And so it was that I had to deal with this new disturbance this morning. And a familiar old disturbance in the evening.  NOT exactly a great start for the week... At least I got out to Rite-Aid and got some Tylenol to help ease the muscle soreness. So I wasn't as sore going to sleep tonight as last night. So hopefully I'll get more sleep...