I hadn't been all the way out of my meditation session this morning when I get a call from Lisa. It's 6:45 AM and she is in full wig-out mode. Shy e starts my day by giving me a litany of things SHE has to do and I'm just looking at my phone wondering what any of that has anything to do with me. Still, since I now know that EVERYTHING IS ME PUSHED OUT, I realize I had crafted my own test and seeing how I react to this latest Lisa drama. She's still feeling ill. She has to go to her office. She has to print Johnnie's workbook for the week. She has to oversee Jorge and crew, whoever that may be continue the office computer upgrades. All that had nothing to do with me, but also all that didn't have to be done today. Not even printing Johnnie's lessons. But Lisa being Lisa, she has to do things her way. And so I just sat on the phone until she actually got around to what it is she needed for me to help her with. Turned out she was simply asking for me to go to the office and print Johnnie's class stuff. And also drop off the monitors for Jorge. All since she was sick and she couldn't do it. Why didn't she simply ask in the first place. She didn't have to go to "whine" mode and blurt out how I don't care blah blah blah. I looked at this as an opportunity to fine tune my manifesting skills.
Even more than that I meditated on why I keep pushing drama out. And the answer somewhat shook me. Somehow there is a part of me that prefers this to being alone. There is a fear I have of not being connected to anybody. And drama still means there is a connection. I told myself it's ok to have that connection and not have the drama. That is the fix to the software. That is the new program I am loading.
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