A Little Time With Johnnie A Lot of Time For Me

I am at Lisa's for breakfast this morning. But not before I wolfed down a bagel and cream cheese and took a shower for good measure. I hadn't showered since Wednesday morning and I was starting to smell.  About the bagel, you never know what ends up happening at Lisa's. The game plan is always to do things on your terms first sight unseen then there can be no argument when things don't happen as expected. The thing this morning was that Blue the Gecko went missing last night. And so I was fully prepared to help this morning and be as supportive as I can. Which is why I was extremely relieved to hear first thing that they did find him this morning! It turned out he had hidden among Johnnie's toys in the closet in his room. I'm sure Lisa was more than relieved as well. I mean I don't see the thing but 2 days last weekend to feed him and I would have been disappointed big time if he wasn't found.  And so disaster averted, I went to heat up some water for some hot tea. And Lisa went on to make breakfast. Or rather she asked me to cook up some scrambled eggs for breakfast. She was in scrounge mode which happens when she has no food left in the house and she simply won't take the time to go out and buy some. She did have eggs left though, and she did have pastries courtesy of old friend Inez who we used to hang with back in the day pre-Johnnie. That was enough for breakfast. As for me, I had the privilege of downloading the MindValley Silva Life System that i found on someone's unprotected Google Drive. Downloaded the whole program. And did a couple of lessons too. Including the Alpha Meditation. Which is why I was much more mellow this morning. So much so my resting heart rate dropped 3 full points to 69 which was the first time it had dipped below 70 in about a month. And so it was that I ended up having breakfast with Lisa and Johnnie to go with last night's dinner and then right afterwards, Lisa went back to practicing the piano. In the meantime, it turned out that Johnnie had a list of stuff for us to get at the store. He knows he gets to hang out with me this morning on a Saturday. He knows the routine. And Lisa had a couple of things she needed anyway. Her parents are coming tomorrow to bring her full bags of groceries. But I'm supposed to get Johnnie's chicken noodle soup and flour and a couple of other things. I didn't care. I have a couple of hours to hang out with my Little Bug. And he was only all too happy to hang out at my apartment even for just a couple of episodes of the Cat In the Hat. I stretched it all the way to lunch even, getting him some Panda Express. And so we went back to Lisa's at before it was even 1:3o. It was a win-win-win. Lisa got to practice piano, I got to hang out with Johnnie, Johnnie got to watch the-Cat-In-the-Hat! 

So this afternoon was all about some ME TIME. Which would actually last the rest of the weekend actually since I don't typically see Johnnie and Lisa on a Sunday, especially when her parents are going to be over for the bulk of the afternoon. I had started some work yesterday with the Silva lessons and not only was I much more relaxed today I also had a lot of clarity with regards to relationships. Mine with my family. Mine with Lisa. I realize that the time I spent with Johnnie is simply an extension of the social time that Lisa needs in her life regardless of who she that time is with. Yesterday it was Inez Garcia. It could be her many friends on the phone. And that is really her ME TIME too. Funny that she is spending social time with me when it is me that realizes I don't have to do that now that we're divorced. Yet I do it anyway. I also realized from a video this morning I watched on an MS diet protocol that the stuff I bug about with her... the constant anxiety, the perfectionism, the drama could be effects of the MS that she has. It's really FEAR driving itself isn't it? All that to say it wasn't necessarily about me a lot of the time. Some of it is a part of her own narcissistic tendencies, but even that I think was learned from her dad. The bottom line is that I was far more accepting today than ever. And not much bothered me at all. In fact, she continued to talk to me for as long as I was there and I did stay to listen although a huge part of me really just wanted to go home and take a nap such as it were. How I ended up turning that into lunch at Taco Bell for a beef burrito and some nachos hopefully doesn't mean I'm turning into fast food couch potato guy. The minute I sensed some guilt about those tacos I immediately went for a fast walk around the neighborhood. See, I even posted a pic of me doing same. Hey it turned into a beautiful day really. So much so I didn't even need any layers late in the afternoon. Kind of odd for late November when it is supposed to be getting colder. But I'm not complaining. I actually did finally do a movie tonight. I was able to download Greenland which is not supposed to be released to video-on-demand until December. A disaster movie about a comet hitting the earth. I admit I was a bit disappointed. But hey it was a movie right? I'm glad I could watch those considering LA County is ratcheting up quarantine again for the holidays. Still who could blame me for being in LAZY MODE. I didn't even want to do much for dinner other than Chipotle carne asada burrito bowl. Check that. I did turn into couch potato fast food guy. I'll let it go for just tonight though. What's the harm for just one day right?