The Learning Lesson With Johnnie

It all started when out of nowhere, Johnnie kicked me in the ankle. We were waiting for the elevator and he caught me off guard. And at that moment, I blew up. I remembered that moment when he supposedly bit Cyrus at the STAR camp and it brought me back to that day when his mom told me all about it looking to get some kind of outcome.  Today I got angry. And I made him stand against the wall as punishment. And although he said he was sorry I was NOT satisfied he was taking me seriously. And so I smacked him upside the head. So hard he started to cry of course. Why did I do that? I lost control. Did that really make him feel like he would not do it again? I doubt it. The deepest darkest part of me came out. And it felt like that night in January 2017 with Lisa that eventually broke us up I think. We were never the same after that. She moved out of the bedroom  because she thought I choked her. Really she hit me and I just grabbed her collar and told her never to do that again. A moment of anger. Just like this one. And it cost us both. Today, I knew right after I did it that I was in the wrong. And I sat Johnnie down and made sure I did damage control. He did not need to get hit. Nothing he could have done deserved that. I was the angry moron.  And i realize now I need to do what I can so that NEVER EVER happens again. 

I am so sorry Johnnie. Please Forgive me. I love you Thank you.
I am so sorry Johnnie. Please Forgive me. I love you Thank you.
I am so sorry Johnnie. Please Forgive me. I love you Thank you. 
I am so sorry Johnnie. Please Forgive me. I love you Thank you.