Brand New Month

SMELL THE ROSES MOMENT  I was washing dishes this morning and when I dispensed some soap a bunch of small little bubbles came out and started wafting all over the kitchen and then the living room. Bubbles all over the place naturally reminded me of Johnnie and how he loves blowing bubbles, the last time being in Lisa's backyard. And all this while there was a Youtube video playing about "being as a child again" in terms of trying to manifest stuff. Children have this uncanny skill of keeping what they want on the forefront of their attention and relentlessly letting YOU know what they want. That's the key to manifestation after all isn't it? You get what you focus on. And so the bubbles not only made me feel good because I thought about Johnnie, it also was a reminder. And with that I started my Monday morning. I actually felt pretty energized this morning and that was because I was able to get beyond the anxiety and confusion that was my pattern from previous Mondays at the FRB. I managed to center myself, focus my thoughts and flick off the confusion and instead kept saying the mantra "I provide massive value". "I provide massive value". And then I kept it up all through breakfast and all through my shower this morning. The result was that I felt very clear all morning long. Even through the Business Continuity Meeting I was pretty focused, and that had the added emotional content of the announcement that Lam is leaving. Even my CEO Barbara had to call me afterwards to ask me more about it. I felt like telling her he didn't really feel as valued as we should have made him feel. Because I thought that we could have. But he just started reporting back to me weeks ago. Whatever damage that was done, it was done outside of my watch. And I told her I felt like his mind was already made up. Anyway I went for a walk after that phone call to clear my own head. And decided to pick up a sirloin steak and barbecue it for my lunch. That would be the picture I posted here after getting it cooked. It was pretty good too. So good that I followed it up with a nice 20 minute meditation and a 10-minute nap after that. THAT got me pretty centered.

During that meditation session, I reflected that this was a brand new month and that we are now smack in the holiday season. Thanksgiving is coming up as well as the Christmas holidays after that. Usually, the team at the FRB would be talking about the Thanksgiving potluck right about now and starting to put up decorations too. But in this time of coronavirus I know celebrations will be at a minimum, and mostly virtual at that and that's ok. I know Lisa isn't going to Hawaii for the first time in many years. So things will be a bit different for sure. But for the here and now there's still the Little Guy and it's still Monday and pick-up night for me. By 5:15 it was already dark and Lisa calls me to let me know they had picked up Johnnie's dinner at Panda Express. That, by itself, was a bit odd portending to a non-routine pick-up. But I didn't care. I went over there by 5:40 and mom and Johnnie were already eating. And to make a long story short, they ended up finishing dinner and of course Lisa had to clean up still. This included all the toys that apparently made it to the piano room where they ended up sleeping all weekend. Sigh. And of course Lisa wanted Johnnie to feed the gecko too. All of this could have and should have been done before I even got there of course. But it's just Lisa being Lisa. And I didn't want to break the peace and harmony either. And so I just sat there on the couch waiting patiently for them to get done with whatever the heck they needed to get done with. And by the time all that happened, it was already 7 PM. Oh well, at least Johnnie had already eaten. And I had food at home anyway so I wasn't all that worried about it. And so Johnnie didn't have to spend time eating at my house, just chillin' before bedtime. Watching his favorite Isla Nublar Jurassic Park Lego videos. He's watched the thing so much he could recite the dialogue already. As for me, I felt tired actually. I didn't know why really but by 9:30 I was already drifting to sleep while Johnnie was still watching Bert and Ernie before going to bed. An early night it is. My circadian rhythms must be off and trying to get used to Daylight Savings. At least I get more sleep. It's all good.