Do I Have To Feel Stressed?

So I got a chat message from my boss last night telling me a lot of people are very nervous that Lam is leaving. They should be. He was responsible for an entire function: the Data Analytics function. And he did a good job. I don't really know what would have gotten him to stay. He keeps things really close to the vest that guy and he's one of those people that you never really know what makes him happy. Or if anything really does. I never really got to know him on a deeper level personally. For sure I do know that being able to carry a department like he had done didn't really mean as much to him as what it means to me when I can say I carry the organization's IT department. Because to me, that will always be a big deal. But perhaps, that's merely an ego thing. One thing I DO know about me, once I know you're not on the same team as I am, once I know you're no longer on my team, then THAT becomes a big deal to me and my personality is such that I will cut you lose emotionally, mentally, everything. I haven't once talked to Justin since he left QueensCare more than 2 years ago. Is that a personality defect? Is it bad that my mom has to bug my Tita Alice about me not reaching out to her. Is that part of same said personality defect? Well whatever it is, it's not because I can't care about anything or anyone, because I love that little kid who lives with me a few days during the week and that day starts today. And maybe, he is the one thing I care about the most in this world. Actually just writing that makes me realize how untrue that statement is. I care about a lot of things and a lot of people. It's just that my orbit of attention is not particularly large. And that should explain everything. Including how I deal with the people at work. All that yada yada yada just to talk about my one-on-one with Eloisa this morning. A rare talk since she really tries to simply leave me alone. She wanted to be reassured that I got everything handled. I gave that reassurance of course because I know me. And I have all the confidence in the world, we'll be able to handle this. The plan is to replace Lam as soon as possible, and also to make sure James keeps things stable for now.  The rest of the talk we spent on my goals, which are pretty much on track. Whatever happens, I'm sure we're going to be ok, even if I don't know how I'm going to pull it off just yet. LOL.

And so I go back to the title of this post ... Do I have to feel stressed? By the looks of the pic I posted dad and son are just chilling at home sharing homemade chocolate chip cookies. And that's already later on tonight. Through the day, I of course focused on the school routine. Tuesday means Library and Social Studies while I spent my IS Team time wrapping up transition stuff with Lam and then the aforementioned one-on-one with Eloisa. This afternoon, Johnnie's usual swim class got moved to tomorrow and so he only had his computer programming class left. And today he had to finish his last project which he started last week. As it turned out, he managed to finish the program but it did have one huge glitch that he asked the teacher help with. The idea for me there was for him to learn to ask for help and not to give up asking until he got addressed. And the teacher did try to help but it was good old dad that actually found the bug in his program. Good old dad has still got it doesn't he?! Lol. And when he played the clean program lo and behold it resembled the old frogger game! Buttons to move a character (a chicken) and to avoid hitting other chickens and other objects to get to a destination. And then a dance in the end when it finally did. It was that dance that had a bug which made it pretty simple to find actually. And so voila! He completed his game! I have to say I was pretty pleased and amazed that he got his far. He's 6 years old! I don't think Lisa would be able to understand how advanced this learning is! And how cool I think it was that he got through it. Hence we fast forward to dad and son celebrating with chocolate chip cookies LOL. And so I will answer my own question... am I stressed about Lam leaving? A little bit. But I also have tremendous confidence in myself and my ability to provide value. Massive value. Just one more thing to take on and accomplish I guess. Been there done that. Candidly I'm more stressed that Johnnie has the day off tomorrow and I have no idea how to keep him occupied all day LOL. I mean there is no place to take him to. I'm going to have to come up with something creative. Today he had school to focus on and by the end of the day, and as he is yanking on my arm while we wait in line to get his dinner at Panda express, as he is making his list for stuff we need to get at Target, as I am carrying him to the bathroom to brush his teeth per our nightly routine I am still reminded that despite all the things going on around me, everything is still perfectly ok.