Is It Just Another Thursday

Today started with the feel of just another Thursday which would be just fine with me. With tonight being hand-off night, I was focused on being in Johnnie DAD mode mostly because with Super Bowl Sunday coming up this weekend I didn't think I would see Johnnie again until Monday night. I hate these 3 day gaps although I also remind myself that I did manage to have an entire day with him on Tuesday. I was finally able to write something to Christine yesterday because it was on my mind, particularly in light of the Kobe tragedy this weekend. We're all in the mode of just reaching out and expressing stuff we had been "waiting around to do until next time". The Kobe tragedy just snapped into perspective that until next time might never be. From the time she left LA for Vegas, I actually had been wanting to express to her how much I appreciated the connection we had as couples, Lisa and I and she and Dylan and that although Lisa and I are obviously no longer together, our kids are and always will be COUSINS just as she and Lisa will always be cousins. Anyway I did write to her finally and that was on my mind as I walked Johnnie to school this morning. 2nd day in a row I would take a picture of im on top of his favorite tree root. He calls it Johnnie's tree LOL. Anyway the only other difference this morning was that it wasn't cold. As in it felt like spring and it was supposed to get into the higher 70s later. And so it was that I would go to work with nothing on my schedule just like a normal Thursday and our CEO leaving for her vacation today. I was actually operating with a little less weight on my shoulders today because I thought we were able to solve another financial blip that came up out of the blue in the beginning of the week. We got notice that we were in the hole $7K for storage overages in our new cloud provider Druva. Turned out Noriel my network engineer had completely misunderstand the charging and storage fees and we really screwed it up. But fortunately despite my usual Arnel-in-yo-face style, the sales people managed to let me know they wanted us as customers anyway and that they would work toward forgiving the overage if we continued to work with them. We were going to meet tomorrow to make sure we did things right this time moving forward. That is all I could ask. And with that I was confident we could work something out. That is what I can bring to the table. To work things out. AND after Monday the network has been ok so the work day did manage to slip along fairly quietly. I did stay at my desk mostly because what do I do when I'm not working? I am on the internet looking at Youtube videos. Still with the Kobe shares and Kobe stories. Always brings me to tears still. And of course the metaphysics videos. I did muster a surge of energy towards the end of the day so that I actually looked like I spent the entire day working. Just 3 or 4 emails can do that. And then off I went to go pick up Johnnie at school.

Like last week I went to KFC to pick him up some popcorn chicken for his dinner. And then I picked up some stuff to make ME dinner, which was my tagine-style ground beef dish. He was still in the middle of eating when I got the call from Lisa that she was done. I guess she got done early today. And that she was coming by at 6 PM. That's about an hour earlier than usual. But at least Johnnie got to eat dinner sort of with me. Lisa came, we talked for a bit about possibly getting together for dinner tomorrow night. She seemed to be sensitive about missing Johnnie when you don't get to see him for more than a couple of days. And she wanted to make sure I saw him tomorrow. I appreciated that very much. But I also could use some alone time. I made myself dinner in my Instant Pot and let it simmer while I walked around the neighborhood to finish off my 11,000 steps. I was done before 8 PM actually. And when I got back I ate dinner and sat in the couch in my "aloneness". And just at that moment I did wish I was watching Magic School Bus videos with Johnnie and waiting for 9 PM so I could make him take his shower. Funny how routines do get ingrained in you. Also interesting that I didn't have anything lined up to watch tonight. And so I watched a Gregg Braden webinar on The New Human Story all weaving into the paradigm that it is all about our consciousness and about how and what we do to manage that. And more broadly, that we are all far more powerful than we have ever imagined. Not too far fetched to see how we all subvert ourselves, particularly when I spend time with Johnnie. At this point in his life, he does seem like a LIMITLESS BEING. And I do have to wonder how much of my own projections, my own mental and emotional constructs I am imprinting on him. That's the key isn't it? How to keep him THINKING he is limitless, and how to keep him curious, and let his personality grow and let him become himself. I remind myself that it isn't too late and that I am just now reclaiming that for myself. I had all the tools from a long while back already. But I didn't have the follow-through and I simply wasn't ready. Took long enough. But I'm ready now. Ready for what? I know what I want to be ready for. Now we will see...