External Wackiness

So it's Wacky Wednesday at Johnnie's school which meant everyone was supposed to dress wacky. I had Johnnie put on some stripes for pants. But more broader than that I think is more than just a little bit of wackiness going on in the world too. There's this whole coronavirus thing that is starting to take hold in terms of people being worried about it. Am I worried about it? Isn't it no worse than the regular flu? I mean people have died, but those same people would have died from regular flu. And they were already immuno-compromised anyway. So am I worried about it? NO. I was more worried when a text came in the middle of a Director's meeting. Johnnie's school was apparently in the middle of a police lockdown and there was no reason indicated. I immediately dropped everything and headed home. This was at 2:36 PM. OF COURSE I'm worried! What the hell is happening? Horrific images of Columbine and other school shootings came to my mind. There were follow-up texts to be sure. The school came out of lockdown, then went back into lockdown. On my way home I got very apprehensive when I heard police helicopters and sirens. By 3 PM when I got home, it was still on lockdown and I decided NOT to go on over there but turned on the news. Nothing there. The texts indicated no one was in harms way and that all this was just a precaution. By 3:30PM a text came indicating the school was out of lockdown. I breathed out in relief. And went to school earlier than usual. I saw Johnnie sitting all by himself. He didn't seem to want to play with the others. When I came to get him and asked why he said he didn't feel like playing. He just wanted to draw. Another sigh of relief. Nothing related to the lockdown. He was just in loner mode LOL.

I DID give him a big hug when I came to get him. I hope he didn't think of it as anything different. If anything the lockdown thing was yet another reminder to me: Love the HECK out of those you love, of Johnnie. Nothing is promised. Enjoy the moment and keep it going for as long as you can. On we went to Panda Express like we always do on a Wednesday night more often than not. There we ran into Dr Nina Lin and her husband and 2 kids. Same Dr Lin that used to work for Lisa. Kind off to see them there. Her oldest is 4 years old now and going to TK next year herself. I didn't really make a big deal about running into her other than just something else random to tell Lisa later. I did put together an explain text because I'm sure Lisa felt some concern from the text messages from the school too just as I did. I told her all was ok and that Johnnie was fine. And that we did run into Dr Lin. Crickets LOL. Johnnie and I went home with him singing to more Frozen 2 songs on the radio, belting out "Lost in the Woods". That's one way he isn't falling asleep on the drive home. Like last night he was totally immersed in play when we got home. Look at him playing with his homemade goop. It was so gooey I had to wipe off everything from MY hands. But he kept playing and making something out of it. He built something and I'm sure it will end up being a present for his mom tomorrow LOL.  In the meantime I kept feeding him writing and math refresher lessons. And some reading too. And then we ended up watching an old favorite: Dinosaur train. We're now backtracking older episodes that he didn't used to like before but now that he knows even MORE about dinosaurs, ex: iguanodons he's back to watching them. I'm good with that. All that stuff about the corona virus scare and all that stuff about the school lockdown this afternoon has me nothing but extremely grateful that he is with me and that he is safe and that he is happy. Anything else is just noise. Even while watching Dinosaur train, Johnnie made it a point to ask me to sit next to him to watch it together. Tonight more than ever I was very happy to do that. And kept feeding him his snacks in the process. Chee-tohs, then chocolate bunnies an hour later, and then milk finally. I finally returned some emails since I took my laptop home. Another reminder that nothing that happened at work mattered today, although we did manage to get some resolutions on accountability and the providers not closing their encounters.  We knew it would need to come down to the CMO taking some leadership and responsibility. And today at least he owned up to that.  In the meantime I did manage to reflect on the day and that I did not give in to FEAR much, not about corona virus, not about the school lockdown. I knew everything would be ok. Even bumping into Dr Lin I chose to attribute to old negative energy merely bubbling up to the surface needing to be processed and let go. When  I did that all I had is the simple joy of a child just being and enjoying the moment. I'm talking about Johnnie of course but simply being in the moment with him allows me to be that same child full of joy too. Whether it's playing with imaginary dinosaurs, drawing what happened today, singing Frozen 2 songs, reconnecting with old dinosaur memories... Wouldn't THAT be great if we could remember to do that. All. the. time.for.a.long.as.you.can.