Distractions

Maybe it was that time that we spent at the Santa Monica Airport Soccer field last night which had brought up memories both pleasant and unpleasant but I knew I was going to be tested today at some point. Still what I was focused on this morning was that it was supposed to rain all day. Yep, the rains are back... at least for the next couple of days and I wanted to make sure Johnnie was properly clothed for school. As it turned out it was nothing more than a very light drizzle this morning as the rain had apparently come last night already. Still here is Johnnie already jumping on all puddles he encountered on his way to school. It's so good to be a kid :) As an adult, here I am spending my entire day practically on the Internet and trying to bring in about 15 laptops so folks in the office that don't have them are able to telecommute. I guess we're being serious with this thing right? The most important thing I think is to deal with the mindset and the anxiety more than the virus itself. If anything, this DOES force me to take advantage of the telecommute thing doesn't it although it was always available to me from the start. And so I had to work harder than I intended to all day long today, with more to come tomorrow and the rest of the week. In fact, this ensures that my entire team is busy through the weekend. Just us doing what we do though. Not a big deal at all. By the end of the day we still didn't get the atmospheric water storm and heavy rain that I thought we would get today. Just a bunch of dark and heavy clouds like an ominous warning. Like the coronavirus, you're aware of it, but so far it didn't really hit. The sun was even out by the time I got to Johnnie's school...

DISTRACTION Like I said this morning though it was almost a sure thing that I was going to get tested today. And sure enough as soon as I checked in to pick up Johnnie, one of the moms came up to me and introduced herself. It was Cyrus's mom Sarah. She told me that Johnnie had bit Cyrus yesterday at star and although he didn't break skin, he did bite through clothes. No harm done really as far as I was concerned, at least that's what I would if it were the other way around. Still I made it a point to talk to Johnnie about it and immediately. And since the program director Katie also told me about it, then I had to address it right then and there. And I asked Johnnie to apologize to Cyrus since the boy was still there as well. He did that. Right in front of Cyrus's mom. Johnnie appeared sincerely contrite enough to me. And so done deal as far as I was concerned. For the first time in a while, Johnnie wanted to stick around and play in the yard. Maybe he felt bad about me finding out about the Cyrus thing. Whatever it was I let him play as long as he wanted. See the pics of him playing with the swing ball in the yard.  And I watched him play with Leo and Julian too. I think he was ok. And it was 5:45 when we headed on home. I immediately got his penne in chicken noodle broth ready and then headed out to the BBQ area to cook our Italian sausage. That's when I got another DISTRACTION. This time it was Lisa. She wanted to know about our joint account and the money I put in there. She's bugging about money stuff again, that would be the only reason she's in there looking. And now she was looking for a fight. I know the signs. She would do this many a time when we were together. There were very few times that we'd talk about money and financial things and NOT get into a fight. And so immediately I went into defense mode. She was asking for explanations I wasn't readily available to provide. Hey I'm making dinner for crying out loud. And so I became aware that my defensive/need-to-control/need-to-win ego had taken control. And I knew nothing would happen except she and I arguing and feeling bad. Lisa did admit about some banking stuff that had happened to her and made her hyper-aware of her finances...again. I felt like I was being checked up on. And I felt like she was feeling cheated yet again... by me. Old negative patterns, old tired stories.  I needed to get out of the conversation as quick as possible so I can change my state and figure out what IS going on with the account. There is always an explanation. Explanations and the conveyance of the right intentions would clear this up I thought. But not tonight. When the phone cut out in the middle of conversation, I let it remain cut off. And went about the usual Tuesday night. Dinner, then cookies, then lots of play time with Johnnie. I might have dodged a couple of obstacles but the emotional and energetic patterns still need to be cleaned up. A lot to work on. And I felt it was ok if I didn't get to them immediately. Early night Tuesday after all. After a couple of nights of less than average sleep, I could use more sleep than usual today. I will clean stuff up tomorrow...