Saturday Impressions

So i woke up this morning and immediately sort of ran into Joe Vitale's Mastermind class on Facebook. Didn't really plan it although I did reserve a space. And I ended up listening to this all-day event for about an hour and in that small amount of time I already had a big distinction that I took away. The first is the message that the Universe seems to be giving all of us regarding this coronavirus thing. The message? GO INSIDE. Which is to say do the internal work and focus on the inner self. And then the second takeaway was about goal setting and manifestation and the reason for the object of our intention. This from Jose Silva: Make sure the essence of what you are manifesting or the outcomes yo're trying to bring about benefits not just you but at least three other people. Very cool learning lesson first thing. Unfortunately, it didn't help the rest of the morning. That's because I went over to Lisa's house for breakfast like we talked about last Thursday night. I didn't call ahead, didn't give any warning, I just headed over there. And found Lisa and Johnnie pretty much just lollygagging in bed still. Now that by itself is no big deal at all. It's Saturday after all. But then Johnnie started eating potato chips, which to me meant that he was hungry and immediately I snapped into feed-Johnnie-mode. This while Lisa is telling me that she had lost internet connectivity in the whole house. Apparently her parents came yesterday to visit and then Oscar the Handyman came to remove the Verizon box outside the house. It wasn't doing anything mind you, it was just there. But Lisa is restless and is in the mood to remove stuff. When she is restless like this she is at her absolute WORST and I should have already recognized it. She ended up not only removing the Verizon box but i'm sure she also removed the cable that connected her to the internet. Unbelievable. I would have been livid had I been living her. This is so Lisa. Anyway, I helped her get on the phone with Jorge to diagnose the internet problem. But in doing so, it just distracted her even further and so I got caught up in my own need for control and order. And I made Johnnie eggs for breakfast. And this absolute turned Lisa's morning even more topsy turvy because she wanted to do family breakfast sitting all together. Didn't happen. Which irritated her. I could sense it as she got increasingly perturbed on the phone with Spectrum that she never got a hold of. Fortunately, she called Oscar. Hey, removed the cable, he can figure out how to put it back. And with that I beat a retreat home, apologizing to Lisa that I had screwed up her plans for the morning. I went home, did some meditation. Walked around the neighborhood. Got myself in a good state. And then went back to Lisa's house to see if I could make it up to her by cooking them lunch. But of course she was already stuck on HER plan for the day which was to get her internet fixed. No problem there. She asked me to come back later on tonight so we could all have dinner instead. Good. I get to have my LEARNING SATURDAY then. And so I went back home.

It became clear to me that I needed to clean and clear SOMETHING. I know Lisa spent yesterday with her family, to which she attributes not paying attention while the contractor took off the Verizon box. But she was still the one that wasn't paying attention. It's funny how she always says her mom simply causes trouble. Does she NOT realize that she is the same way and she unknowingly causes chaos and trouble in her world and therefore sucks other people into it too? At least I don't have to be there to be part of that anymore and I did spend the rest of the afternoon just quietly doing lessons and doing internal work. I was even prepared to simply spend the rest of the evening at home. Did I really need to go back to Lisa's house? Well we did talk about dinner and then she asked to bring a movie for family movie night too. Why is she stuck on "family" stuff? Johnnie and I are a family. She and Johnnie are part of a different family now. THAT is by divorce decree. WE are no longer family. I am just trying to be nice. And when she does stuff like this morning, it is a rather glaring reminder of why we are no longer a family. But I did make pasta and I did barbecue some chicken Italian sausage. And I did go back for dinner at Lisa's house. And after dinner, she and Johnnie did make popcorn and we all sat down to movie night. Haven't done THAT in a very, very long time. Years. WE watched Frozen II for the umpteenth time. Yes it was repetitive. But there is no denying how absolutely cute it was for Johnnie to be belting out half the songs in the movie. Although Johnnie did call us both out when in the middle of the movie he caught me on my cell and Lisa reading a book. Not exactly fully present with him weren't we. Hmmm. Thank you for the lesson Little Bug. And so it was that we did manage to get through movie night relatively unscathed. After this morning's warning shot, that was actually a big deal.  This as Facebook and Google Photos reminded me that this was the time period of our biggest fights 2 years ago. The time we actually did decide to call it quits. Lisa simply has no mechanism to deal with adversity except in a negative way.  She's bugging about her office being closed I get it. She is having a hard time dealing with it. But I remind myself I need to clean and clear myself too. I'm around this negative energy because I invited it in sometime during the week. And it is up to me to control my thinking and to control my state. Back to the lessons this morning that I should have carried with me. I can do that now.  Ok. then. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Let go of the past. Accept the present. Forgive. Raise your vibration.