Monday at The Office

DREAM I had this strange dream last night. I dreamed Lisa was in play mode with me and we were in play mode together. And the next thing I realized she was cuddling and consoling someone - presumably the guy in her life who had gotten jealous of the two of us together. And now I became self-conscious and tried to do an exit-stage-left without them seeing me. Interesting. When I woke up I did think that at some point we both will have to deal with each other's next romantic partners. Or not? I'm preferring not actually. Lisa does not need to know any part of that about ME. Why do I need to know any part of that about her? What I don't know can't hurt me. I guess what I have to prepare for... is that knowing. And making sure that knowledge doesn't hurt me either. Which means I have to continue to detach. I remind myself it isn't Lisa that I want, but to be Johnnie's dad. THAT means everything in the world. And Lisa does not have to be in it. Interesting way to start the week in any case. I tried to hone in on my emotions in the dream, maybe it is pointing me towards stuff I need to work. I felt like I was intruding - perhaps on a couple, and the emotion was almost like shame. And if that were the case, I would only point out to my own SELF that there is no shame in being happy, if in fact the Lisa entity in the dream and I were happy at play.

So the day after the Super Bowl and I'm in the office and the 49er fans are noticeably quiet. I love that they aren't around chirping and talking smack. That would have been pretty unbearable. Anyway this being a Monday and all, I started with a re-set to make sure my priorities are set for this week. I had some pretty good meditation this morning and I wanted to keep myself as much in that space as possible. I even posted a pic of me meditating on a Grabovoi number and thinking out loud "Everything works out in my favor", the idea being to hold and sustain a higher vibration for as much of the day as possible. Today didn't turn out that bad actually, as in it was pretty much uneventful. I even blew off a meeting after lunch just so I could focus on whatever I needed to do today. And that is to help my team do the best job that they can. Just focusing on that ensures that I myself am doing my job as well as I can and that I'm providing massive value. I don't remember any one thing that I did today but that I was pretty productive anyway. Which meant I was in the zone of unconscious competence. And by the time 4 PM rolled around it was as if the afternoon had gone by in the blink of an eye. I knew this because my steps log was barely at 2600 at the end of the day. That meant I hardly left my chair in the office. The only consolation was that I did do my Nitric Oxide dump exercised in the morning. I was already driving home when I got a call from Lisa. I had texted her earlier asking if I needed to come earlier to pick up Johnnie since her Monday night soccer league started tonight. Ahhh that soccer league. How long is she going to keep up with these young guns. If I know her she's going to keep trying. I just hope she doesn't hurt herself LOL like I would be certain to do if I did a basketball league right now out of shape. Basketball shape anyway. As it was the text came at an appropriate time it would seem as she was tied up doing errands. I ended up picking up Johnnie at school and the first thing he asked was if was going to sleep at my house tonight. Well of course Li'l Bug. That is why I'm here I had to answer. I had not seen him all weekend and by all accounts he and his mom stayed the night at Balwan and Sharon's on Saturday and then went to Vatche's concert yesterday. I reminded myself of the need to detach. Whatever they do is what they do and I'm not a part of it. Emotionally or otherwise. I think I'm just glad Johnnie got to eat and sleep albeit not in the regular way I know he does with me. I think that's what my role is then. To provide routine and stability and I am very happy to do that. Just look at his pics in my living room watching Miffy the Bunny which we hadn't watched since he was much younger. I don't know what prompted him to want to watch it tonight. But watch it he did. And kept him occupied while I finished my steps, baked croissants for his lunch for the week, and kept him constantly munching away as he kept asking for food every half hour or so. I really do wonder how he does with Lisa. Any way routine meant in the shower by 9 PM and that is what we did. First work day, first Monday in February is in the books and it was all good. I remind myself that only a week ago I was bringing him in for the week sick and drowsy and so him bouncing around to Miffy is much much better. Always glad that he has done well from whatever weekend activity Lisa had done.