Beginning of the Work Week

So it is Monday and the beginning of a new work week. I did manage to get some sleep once and for all although I have not caught up totally. How could I when I managed a total of 8 hours sleep from the last 2 nights?! My plan is to catch up when I get the most sleep when Johnnie is around this week. In the meantime, I need to address whatever these negative emotions last night surrounding people like Courtney, and Eloisa, and Lisa have evoked. The first step is always to become aware. And then the next step is to clear and to clean up whatever needs to be. With Eloisa, it's always about insecurity about my job and so it's pretty obvious I simply need to focus on providing as much value as I possibly could. And to instill the belief that whatever I do at work is plenty good enough. That alone should be a good enough mantra for work this week shouldn't it? As for Courtney, it's about her energies strengthening Lisa's tendencies to be even more unfocused. But I really don't even care about them, at least not anymore. I care more that Johnnie gets sucked into it. With that I have to trust that Lisa IS doing the best she can and it is not under my control anyway. And so it is best to simply be ok with not being in control. And to keep myself from being pulled into that dynamic myself. In the meantime, I need to work on financial stuff at work again, which would be the 2nd time I'm burrowing down to do it. Which means there is stuff there I need to clean and clear too. That I need to keep finances in order. That I got that humongo bill from AT&T for almost $200K is enough of a reminder about that. I still need to sit down and work out details of that with them. AND get my HRSA report in about IS expenses. The good thing was that it appears that entire $78K is being handed to me. Pretty cool! Now I have to be a good steward and actually list what I'm spending it on and actually go do it. The funny thing is that I actually have plenty of budget right?  And so with all these thoughts in my head this morning, lunch almost came up very quickly and I barely had enough time to go out and test my new face mask with my morning walk. The great thing was that it is finally finally finally looking like it is warming up this week. And it was great to actually feel hot after I did about 2 miles walking around my neighborhood.

Before I knew it, Lisa was actually driving by to drop off Johnnie. I guess she was in the middle of doing stuff. Isn't she always? She showed me what they did for Johnnie's lesson today and as usual, she was out of order. She did Wednesday's homework which was the big homework for the week, but neglected to do today's. Sigh. Guess what WE get to do the second we get inside the apartment LOL LOL. Johnnie didn't mind actually. In fact, he himself said "Mommy didn't know where to go for my homework". That just about sums it up. She was distracted yet again. And that is perfectly ok. I FINISHED Johnnie's Monday homework and actually got it all done within an hour. That's just it actually... Johnnie is so smart all you have to do is try to get out of his way and not be too idiotically judgemental like I was last week. You do that and he'll get his work done. And he did exactly that tonight. He's already used to doing lessons before he gets to watch videos with me anyway. We're just continuing what we've been doing for more than a year. The reward? He gets to eat a decent meal that's what. Tonight it is his favorite penne pasta chicken noodle soup. And he ate A LOT. Which is why I know he practically didn't eat anything for lunch. It's ok Little Bug. You're with dad now. You're with someone who eats at regular times. You'll get to eat plenty for the next few days. And of course he gets to watch his Cat-In-the-Hat. Tonight I actually wanted to him do that because I wanted to catch up with Jodi from Match.com. I didn't really talk to her all weekend and I have to ask myself why I didn't put out the effort. It couldn't be because of Lisa could it? Whatever it was, I wanted to make sure I continued to communicate with her simply to let her know I was still interested. And I am. WHo know where it's going to lead? But for sure it will not go anywhere if I don't pick up the phone. And so I called her tonight to catch up. And really to find out if she really was still interested. I think the answer was a YES, at least after we talked tonight. It's just our 2nd phone call ever so pretty premature to come to any conclusions. But at least we're both still interested. And I'm glad she said she liked talking to me. For my part, it was a test I gave myself to see if I could talk while Johnnie was around. Of course I had already done this last year with Diane. And tonight all it did really was to make me about 20 minutes later than usual in giving Johnnie his shower. He still got to bed by 9:40. I stayed up only because I really did want to finish that Excel spreadsheet on IS expenses for HRSA. I'm not waiting until the last second and the end of the day tomorrow. I'm submitting it tonight. And I did actually get it done and got it sent. And it wasn't even midnight yet. I crawled into bed feeling tired. I thought I had a pretty good day actually. Sent thoughts of gratitude for that as I finally finally finally catch up on sleep...