Saturday On My Terms
And so I woke up this morning pretty late because of all the binge watching last night. I got a call from Lisa asking when I was coming for breakfast. I headed over, but not before I planted my own intentions FIRST. I intend to have a tension-free day with Lisa, and I intend to have a bonding day with Johnnie and I intend to place my focus on things I want to do today. And then I did a cleaning of all the stuff that came up from last week. And then I had breakfast with Lisa and Johnnie. She made us omelettes, and pancakes for Johnnie topped with Gnutella. It was a pretty good breakfast to be sure. And the interaction was good too, not really much tension although the conversation was still mostly about how worried she is and how she intends to keep her business afloat. I wish I could teach her to quiet her mind, to quiet her ego and the distracting noise and insecurities and anxieties they surface. But given the lessons from yesterday I had an awareness that all THAT stuff is stuff I pushed out! That all that was simply memory... stuff I had gotten accustomed to dealing with and therefore comes up via auto-pilot. And that I can undo the auto-pilot any time I wanted to. But I was also aware that I wanted to simply do a re-do of last Saturday but on my own terms. Now I realize that THAT is mostly my ego talking too. But I decided to go with that this morning. And so after breakfast instead of sticking around, i took Johnnie and we went on a somewhat routine Saturday morning as if it was a Lisa work day. We went to Westwood since I wanted to go to Target. And passed by an empty Elysee and mostly empty Westwood streets (see pic). But we did manage to replenish our supplies at Target. This included Johnnie's favored black pens, there was even toilet paper in the shelves! Pretty significant in that that is the first time I had seen it ona shelf in 3 weeks although I don't need it now. I even got a bat to replace the one Johnnie had broken [Yay!!], and of course I went and got Lisa some stuff she needed as well. And by the time we went home, Johnnie only had time for a single video before it was already time for lunch. And today we got lunch from Panda Express like we had done on plenty a Saturday. Not Westwood, but close enough on Sawtelle and Olympic. After lunch I realized I needed to at least have something to report to Lisa that we've done other than have Johnnie watch videos. And so... we gave his new bat a spin outside. It took him a few swings but when he got used to the new bat, he was swatting line drives all over the place. And then we came back Johnnie and I cleaned up Goldie's bowl (that would be my pet beta now that I've had him from the beginning of the year). Both activities I posted pics of here.
I took Johnnie back to Lisa's by 3 PM like I promised. Not one minute sooner because I'm now remembering that time a year ago when she went agro over me being just a few minutes late. Or was that 2 years ago now? Anyway who knows what kind of mood she's in now right? [Yep, that would be me again forgetting about how I can control all that with my own intention and awareness] I dropped him off and made no small talk, just took off. I figured we'd talk again tomorrow. But no need to come back for dinner tonight. I'd rather do my own errands. Laundry. Clean-up the apartment. Get my steps in. Make myself dinner. Sounds like more of the same. Tonight I made the ground lamb into that sort-of tajine dish with turmeric. Spent time cutting up the onions, and carrots, and celery. And although it took a while to make, it turned out pretty damn good. I wanted to do some evening meditations and started tooking for stuff on YouTube on guided meditations. I knew that I still have a lot to clean and clear. And I didn't feel particularly focused after today. At least I managed to spend some quality time with Johnnie and without Lisa's extremely uneven energy getting in the way. And so I got to do it on my terms and I'm very grateful for that. And so simply working on centering and focusing my energy took time. And by the time I got ready to go to bed it was once again almost 1 AM in the morning. But at least even sleeping late was on my terms too. LOL.
And so I woke up this morning pretty late because of all the binge watching last night. I got a call from Lisa asking when I was coming for breakfast. I headed over, but not before I planted my own intentions FIRST. I intend to have a tension-free day with Lisa, and I intend to have a bonding day with Johnnie and I intend to place my focus on things I want to do today. And then I did a cleaning of all the stuff that came up from last week. And then I had breakfast with Lisa and Johnnie. She made us omelettes, and pancakes for Johnnie topped with Gnutella. It was a pretty good breakfast to be sure. And the interaction was good too, not really much tension although the conversation was still mostly about how worried she is and how she intends to keep her business afloat. I wish I could teach her to quiet her mind, to quiet her ego and the distracting noise and insecurities and anxieties they surface. But given the lessons from yesterday I had an awareness that all THAT stuff is stuff I pushed out! That all that was simply memory... stuff I had gotten accustomed to dealing with and therefore comes up via auto-pilot. And that I can undo the auto-pilot any time I wanted to. But I was also aware that I wanted to simply do a re-do of last Saturday but on my own terms. Now I realize that THAT is mostly my ego talking too. But I decided to go with that this morning. And so after breakfast instead of sticking around, i took Johnnie and we went on a somewhat routine Saturday morning as if it was a Lisa work day. We went to Westwood since I wanted to go to Target. And passed by an empty Elysee and mostly empty Westwood streets (see pic). But we did manage to replenish our supplies at Target. This included Johnnie's favored black pens, there was even toilet paper in the shelves! Pretty significant in that that is the first time I had seen it ona shelf in 3 weeks although I don't need it now. I even got a bat to replace the one Johnnie had broken [Yay!!], and of course I went and got Lisa some stuff she needed as well. And by the time we went home, Johnnie only had time for a single video before it was already time for lunch. And today we got lunch from Panda Express like we had done on plenty a Saturday. Not Westwood, but close enough on Sawtelle and Olympic. After lunch I realized I needed to at least have something to report to Lisa that we've done other than have Johnnie watch videos. And so... we gave his new bat a spin outside. It took him a few swings but when he got used to the new bat, he was swatting line drives all over the place. And then we came back Johnnie and I cleaned up Goldie's bowl (that would be my pet beta now that I've had him from the beginning of the year). Both activities I posted pics of here. 
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