Good Friday

So yesterday I didn't exactly make my intention list, which is really a good way to keep me aware how consistent [or NOT consistent] I've been about working out my manifesting muscles. But I do remind myself that although I fairly easily do 11,000 steps a day now and have been doing so for almost a year now up from 10,000 from a couple of years, even getting to 10,000 was a stretch at first. And so here I go I start all over today:
I intend to receive $200 from an unexpected source today.
I intend to get my Docusign contract approved today.
I intend to spend some time with Johnnie today.
I intend to get a free dinner today.
I intend to get an uplifting compliment today.

ECHOES OF THE PAST  I am now being more aware of how "History" and "Memory" affects reality. Last week all that emotional tension betweeen Lisa and I happened to come the day we had one of our biggest spats 2 years ago, which led to the separation soon after. And then this morning came a nag email from Eloisa my boss, almost the same time as a call I had from her a year ago while I was driving home from the San Diego Wild Animal Park asking to get clarification about Sharepoint. Same substance really. She didn't like Larry's answers. She wanted to meet with me. And then that meeting turned out ok. This time around, she still doesn't like Larry's answers and she wants to meet with me. It's like a negative memory echo. The key thing of course is simply to make sure I do not overreact. In fact the most important thing is to keep my own ego in check. I also remind myself in the vein of "Everything is what I push out", that this script can be attributed straight at me. And this was something that was going on auto-pilot. And then of course there is the sense that I am merely getting a reminder not to get too comfortable. After all, it was ME that wants to not depend on this job or any job for my source of income. And that I would rather create a passive income stream. My attention has to be on how I do that.  And so that is something I'm going to add on my list: I INTEND TO GET CLARITY ON GETTING FINANCIALLY FREE. After I INTEND TO GET CLARITY ON WHAT THIS IS EXACTLY I'M PUSHING OUT and HOW TO CHANGE THE THINKING THAT CREATED IT. I'm sure it may simply be that I've been focusing on negative stuff subconsciously. And so that is where I need to change my thinking. After all, it was after Eloisa told me about Art that I started to think about all kinds of negative stuff, including maybe if it was me about to get let go next. Is it such a surprise then that I bring about circumstances that bring out my job insecurities? Why do those insecurities exist in the first place?

How did I end up getting so busy today? A 9 AM meeting followed by my own team meeting right after that? And all the while I was working on a bunch of stuff? I was so busy I never did get around to taking a shower and brushing my teeth in the morning. Heck I barely had enough time to get a breakfast in. I at least made myself a nice spaghetti Bolognese for dinner and this being Good Friday and all, we were all supposed to be let out at 3 PM this afternoon. And when 3 PM hit, I immediately went to Ralphs to replenish my supplies. It used to be I'd spend $35 a week on groceries. Now it's closer to $70. Fortunately I have not spent much on eating out for lunch... simply because I've been buying food to cook instead. And so after the trip to the grocery store, the email went out about Art. Turned out he wasn't terminated today. He was just being reassigned to a project management position. I see it as he's being given time to look for another job. Does not help in the morale department as I find myself talking to Greg our Purchasing Agent about it right after I got the email. Hey we would have been talking about it at his desk had we still been at the FRB. Anyway by 5:30 PM I get the call from Lisa that I should bring my own dinner tonight but she wanted me to bring my media player so they could see a movie on the TV screen instead of Lisa's computer. I was happy to do that, even if I had to make m own dinner. Heck, I had lots of food in the fridge anyway. It's just as well that I'm barbecuing chicken that had been sitting there for a week now. Anyway I scrambled to get as many steps in before heading over to Lisa's as I got so busy today I ended up being at 3000 when the day ended. Just like yesterday. Anyway I went to Lisa's, ate my own barbecued chicken and hung out with Johnnie and mom watching Sleeping Beauty. There is quite a bit of charm watching those 50s movies even with animation that can not be compared to what we have today. Anyway Johnnie seemed to enjoy it and at least he now knows the story of the Seven Dwarfs. So Friday night ended with the usual movie night even if I didn't watch any of my usual Netflix shows in favor of hanging out at Lisa's. I went home and finished 11,000 steps once and for all. And then watched the last 2 episodes of Tales from the Loop.  I'll be back at Lisa's in the morning...