Monday Intentions - Lisa Gets A Dog

So here's my list for this Monday:
I intend to FEEL secure in my job.
I intend to FEEL valued and acknowledged in my job.
I intend to PROVIDE massive value in my job.
I intend to FEEL that I am more than ENOUGH today.
I intend to FEEL connected today.

I did some meditation in the morning but I did notice I had some emotional discomfort about something, and I knew it was centered around stuff at work. Is it still that email from Eloisa? Art almost getting terminated and then being reassigned at the last second? I knew my primary goal today would be to simply elevate my vibration or my frequency and for the most part I did ok through the morning. Lisa had called from Pasadena where she was at her parent's house and I could only hope she is protecting herself and Johnnie. She called to let me know there would be no piano lessons for tonight but that I should come get Johnnie at the same time arranged anyway. Anyway I had all day clear to pretty much plan my Tech Council presentation and meeting on Wednesday. It used to be the pivot point of the week when we were all still at the FRB. It's still the pivot point now. Especially when I intend to use it to clear up IT stuff Eloisa has issues with.  Anyway putting my head down and working made the morning go by literally in a flash and I found myself taking a walk around the neighborhood near lunchtime. I posted a pic of the new normal of what that looks like now, me with a headband around my face. Not everyone is following it and frankly I'm not even sure it's all that effective. But it's not really better-safe-than-sorry more so that it's about being a team player. Anyway the walk raised my vibration, coupled with a mini-meditation around lunchtime about letting go of the negative feelings that are hounding me. Today, as I posted on my list, it was all about BEING ENOUGH and clearing all the insecurity that has seeped in of late. All about the mental diet. I must remember that EVERYTHING IS WHAT I PUSH OUT. And my interactions with Lisa is simply a way to learn to clear the dominant negative thoughts that I manage to manifest as her actions. Same as Eloisa's actions. When you become aware of this, you simply think "Why would I make myself insecure?" Answer? I wasn't paying attention to my thoughts and those are just old conversations I need to clear, old beliefs floating in my subconscious. THAT is where the work is. All about learning: THE UNIVERSE HAS MY BACK. And the I AM ENOUGH.

By mid-afternoon I got another call from Lisa and this time she sounded very excited. She has a surprise she's bringing home she said. Johnnie sounded really excited in the background too! Hmmm. Finally I heard Johnnie mentioned an animal. "Did you get a dog? I asked".  True enough it would seem that while visiting her mom and getting a nice walk in in the foothills of Sierra Madre where she grew up, Lisa managed to convince her mom to let her take care of her mom's dog Zucco. I always heard about how he bites but in the few times I encountered him, I never thought he was a troublesome kind of dog. Quite the opposite in fact. I think like everything the dog is just mirroring the twitchy energy of her owner, Lisa's mom. And so it was that as I got to her house I waited for a few and then up came Johnnie bounding to the gate with dog in hand. Ahh... the latest plaything. I don't know how I feel about this yet, considering Lisa is now the fulltime caretaker of turtles jack and Jill and I'm now the fulltime caretaker of beta fish Goldie. Lisa clearly was not only upbeat, she mentioned specifically asking to take care of the dog so she doesn't feel so alone when Johnnie isn't with her, specifically in this time of being cooped up inside the house mostly. If only for that reason, this was already a good idea. I'm trying to be sympathetic but also selfish at the same time. I want my time with Johnnie too. He on the other hand has the dog walking all over the place this first day and since I went along on this walk it brought me back to many unpleasant memories. Yes, walking with Lisa has so many bad associations with me and I do realize I need to clear those up. She was about to let Johnnie walk as much as he pleased too until I chimed in with a sharp "You can't let him be the boss" comment. I mean I was there to pick him up. Not to go on a walk with them. And I think Lisa got that finally. She was the one that manipulated Johnnie into walking back home. See? she CAN do it if she wanted to. As for Johnnie? He knew it was time to sleep over at dad's house and we left uneventfully. He knows he'll be able to watch his videos at dad's house you see. I told him he'll be back to visit Zucco on Wednesday. And that will be that. IN THE MEANTIME did I feel more connected today? Well if that means with possible romantic connections, I did get a ping from one of the women on Match I thought was attractive. Awesome. did I provide great value today? I started working on my Tech Council presentation. That will be my focus today and tomorrow. Did I deal with my insecurities? Did I feel secure in my job? Yes but I think I will feel even better after Tech Council. In the meantime, my shift with Johnnie started. It's all good.